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What Does BM Mean: "I'll file a motion" cross post

step off already's picture
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DH has a restraining order against BM. It allows her to call him on Mon and Wed night at 7 pm to speak with SS. All custody was finalized about 3 weeks ago in court.

Anyway, last night at about 7:30 DH came in from working in the yard as we just did the time change so he was taking advantage of the daylight. He went to where his cel phone was plugged in after missed call and a long stream of texts from BM asking where SS13 was, her final text read, "you keep breaking your order. I'll add it to my file. Do it three times and I'll file a motion."

Anyway, we called SS13 and told him it was time for him to call his mom. He usually just calls his mom directly from the house phone at 7 on those nights anyway. He USUALLY asks way ahead of time, but because of the time change, he hadn't thought of it either.

So SS13 calls BM and they have their usual 4 minute conversation but he starts off with apologizing for not calling on time.

My question: what is she talking about? Also, since the norm is for SS to call her, is it really DH breaking any order?

She's gone to the police may times before and filed incident reports when DH ended their call early. She states that their call is for one hour, but the order just says she can call DH at the designated time. The first time she did it, the officer called DH and DH called him right back. The officer told him he hadn't done anything wrong (but that never stops her from filing those reports).

step off already's picture

DH has always been the caregiver for SS - BM ditched out 7 years ago and DH didn't know where to find her. She only started coming around when she found out I was in the picture and now everything is finalized and in order. That's when DH was able to file for divorce, custody, etc. (I know. Sounds crazy, but he was afraid she'd take his son away so he just let everything ride. He learned the hard way that things don't just "go away" - but that's a whole 'nother thread).

BM has no lawyer. She filed for a waiver of fees when she filed for spousal support and they granted her one.

Here's the cross post with much more info:

http://www.steptalk.org/node/122065

step off already's picture

I'll have to pull out the order and read it again. I'm a pretty smart cookie and like to think that my inerpretation is the correct one, but who knows. She is ALWAYS saying crazy sh$$ that makes zero sense and she is nothing close to being a smart cookie.

She does not want custody of her child, she just likes to mess with DH. You should see all of her "supporting" documentation that she filed with the court during the one year of hearings. None of it made any sense, one item often contradicted another and she told opposing lies in different sets of statements - she just LOVES to fight with DH.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

I seriously doubt a court would care if a phone call was less than an hour late. She is splitting hairs...I'd ask her why three times? Is three the magic number? Drama drama..

I wonder why the onus in on the child to call at 7:00? My husband's order was for egg donor to call Sundays between 5-7. Both of my SSs had their own cell phones so she would call them directly (or not call them ever which was the case 99% of the time.)

newgf's picture

Ok the order says that SHE can call at such time. It does not state that SS13 or DH has to call her.
Also if there is a house phone she should call the home phone incase DH is not home.
A good idea so that no one forgets is to just set an alarm for Monday and Wednesday at 7pm. Even if she files a motion for contempt if DH shows good cause for each offense then she has nothing. Chances are also that if he calls her back right away then the court may not punish DH. Have him keep a log of all phone calls that she makes or SS13 makes to BM i.e. date, time, and duration. If a call is missed from BM document it and what time she was called back. Also, document any time that SS13 or DH call BM and she does not answer.

Jinxycat's picture

I have been in this catch 22 for several years. Yes to what various other posts said on she's threatening to hold him in contempt of court and yes, read the judgement carefully, follow it...most of all keep a journal and keep good notes. When the wheels fall off ...and it may be a few months or years, you will need your notes. If she loves to fight with DH and be mad at him, you'll need your notes to prove your innocence if she ever really does file a motion. Memory can be a faulty thing and my DH's nutty ex has filed so many complaints that the FOC has rejected all of them...BC they are either petty or baseless. It's a major drain, but the best way to handle it is stick to the facts and let BM drive herself batty. Tough spot.

Jinxycat's picture

I have been in this catch 22 for several years. Yes to what various other posts said on she's threatening to hold him in contempt of court and yes, read the judgement carefully, follow it...most of all keep a journal and keep good notes. When the wheels fall off ...and it may be a few months or years, you will need your notes. If she loves to fight with DH and be mad at him, you'll need your notes to prove your innocence if she ever really does file a motion. Memory can be a faulty thing and my DH's nutty ex has filed so many complaints that the FOC has rejected all of them...BC they are either petty or baseless. It's a major drain, but the best way to handle it is stick to the facts and let BM drive herself batty. Tough spot.