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Am I being unreasonable

RAJ C's picture

I am new to tbhe forums (posted once before) and I need someone else opinion. Last night after I put our son (6 year old) to bed, I turned on the TV (our bedroom) on a TV program my wife and I have been watching lately. Five minutes later my wife and her daughter come in and my wife without asking or saying anything switches to another channel on the TV as her daughter wanted to watch a cooking show. 

Once the show is over and her daughter goes to bed I tell my wife that I felt disrespected completely since I was not even asked if I was watching TV, she gets upset, turns around and goes to sleep. I am wrong here?


hereiam's picture

Your wife is very inconsiderate.

Why did they need to watch it in your bedroom?

sunshinex's picture

That's so inconsiderate, especially if she turned around and went to bed when you brought it up. 

My husband and I don't get much sleep cause our son is a terrible sleeper, so we're often accidentally doing inconsiderate things without thinking, but when the other person brings it up ie. "you turned off the TV in the middle of my show" we laugh and realize what we did and apologize for it. 

For her to just turn around and go to sleep shows she didn't accidentally overlook something, she purposely changed what you were watching and doesn't want to hear how it affected you or your feelings. 

tog redux's picture

Ridiculous.  I would have said, "HEY! I was watching that!" just so it was clear that it was rude in the moment.

Your wife stonewalling your concern is what's unreasonable.


ndc's picture

You're not wrong.  It was rude and inconsiderate of your wife to change the channel without asking you if you were watching the TV and if you minded her changing the channel.  I would have said something immediately rather than waiting, though.  

Rags's picture

Conceptionally no, you are not wrong.  From an execution perspective you were wrong when you did not immediately recover the remote, switch back to the show you were watching and evicting your SD from your room so that  you and DW could watch your show together.

I don't let shit like that fly. I address it immediately, we hash it out, and we move on.  Stewing on it and dealing with it later does not work out so well in my experience.

ESMOD's picture

I agree with Rags.. I mean, why on earth did you not reach over take the remote and tell them that you were already watching another program?  At the very least a "hey, I was watching that"?

If it's the only TV in your home (possible I guess).. and you had been watching TV all evening it might have been nice to let your wife and her daughter watch a show of their choosing.. but I am assuming that is not the case.

elkclan's picture

My ex used to do this to me ALL.THE.TIME. He'd walk in and switch off the tv or the radio. Switch off lights when I was in the room, you get the picture.

I did stand up for myself - hey I was watching that - and he'd get all huffy - and sometimes a lot worse. What he was telling me is that my wants did not matter. 

We're not together anymore. And yes, I'm on this forum because I have stepkids now, there's a crazy BM, my ex of course isn't the most considerate co-parent on the planet and my son is now a stepson - so my family life is a lot more complicated. But it's also a whole lot better with a partner who almost never does stuff like that and if he does occasionally do it, he apologises.

marblefawn's picture

The best way to make this simple point is to do it to her. It will only take one time to open the conversation about really basic manners. I hope this isn't the entire dynamic between you...that would take more than a conversation to fix.