Am I being selfish?
Today I have a doctors appointment (follow up from two weeks ago) since I've been having constant pain in abdominal area. In the first consult the doctor dicarded most important stuff thinking is just IBS (but referred me to another doctorto check bladder problems and next week I have that appointment).
My wife two weeks ago was also going to the same doctor but cancelled her appointment since she had to take SD(13) to ballet class and has not reschedule (this doctor only takes consult in afternoon as clears morning for surgeries) since SD has ballet Monday-Thursday and also does not want to look for another doctor. The doctor also has little appointments available to ge tmy first appointment I had to make the appointment 4 weeks in advanced.
Since yesterday my wife has been sick with diahrrea and complaining about acute pain in the upper abdominal region, did not want to go to the ER so I suggested that she comes today with me to the doctor and most likely he can actually see both of us. She says she can't since she has to take SD to ballet class then suggest I move my appointment to another day and that I take SD to ballet and she takes the appointment. I refused and told her to just have SD skip ballet class (she did yesterday) and we both go to the doctor and she tells me I am selfish. On the other hand whenever I can't take our DS to his swimming class or any other activity (for wrok reasons) usually we just have him skip it (she can't take him due to SD ballet).
Am I being selfish? Since it had been a long time of me always coming last and doing everything I can to help out I have recently started to say no when I think she expects me to do things that I find unreasonable (like cancelling a doctors appointment vs skipping a ballet class) but this one now has me confused on whether I am being selfish or she is being unreasonable.
It is not YOUR kid. SHE is
It is not YOUR kid. SHE is being selfish.
No, you are not selfish. She
No, you are not selfish. She is. She should have made her own damn appointment and you were nice to share yours (though the doctor would likely have been annoyed if you both showed up wanting to be seen).
Yea, I'm not sure the doctor
Yea, I'm not sure the doctor would have done a 2 for 1 deal. While the wife was wrong to suggest he give up the appointment, the OP was wrong for thinking the doctor should accomodate 2/1. If the doctor would agree to accomodate 2/1, then he would be running late all day - therefore making all of the people who did make appointments have to wait.
Agreed. Most doctors have 20
Agreed. Most doctors have 20 minutes nowadays for an office visit, especially if they are affiliated with a health system that gives them a productivity expectation. Gone are the days of your family doctor spending a long time with you and squeezing your wife in. He most likely would have refused to see her.
The doctor is a private care,
The doctor is a private care, I would have paid for 2 consults and given up my time if he did not have enough to see both of us. My experience last time I spent 30 minutes talking with the doctor about her daughter enrolling into the University as the conversation deviated since I work at one fo the universities she is considering.
Of course if the doctor did not have time and he could not see both of us and I would have asked that she saw her.
I'm confused - if that's the
I'm confused - if that's the case, then why did you not give her your appointment as she asked? (Not that I think you should).
If it comes to either me or
If it comes to either me or her due to doctor not able to see both of us today, then I would give up my appointment and reschedule myself. In this case due to the way the doctor works I think he can see both of us today and I do not think I should give it up to take SD to ballet.
First.. your doctor's
First.. your doctor's appointment is YOUR appointment. She can make an appointment with your doctor at another time.. or she can find another doctor to see. Your medical issues shouldn't be put off either.
I would like to suggest something though. Have you had your water tested? My brother told me he had to install a UV filter because his well water was testing poorly and his family had been having on/off stomach issues.
With both you and your wife having issues.. maybe that could be the cause?
And.. there are a plethora of "patient first" /urgent med offices and if your wife is not getting relief with OTC meds then she needs to go see someone.. even if it means her child misses a practice.
Thanks for all the comments.
Thanks for all the comments. Just sometimes I end up second guessing something that to me seems clear.
Actually the doctor just cancelled my appointment (not giving consults this afternoon and rescheduled for next week) guess all this was one more pointless discussion with wife.
It wasn't "pointless",
It wasn't "pointless", because she let you know what she thinks of you. What you do with that information is up to you.
you are right (unfortunately)
you are right (unfortunately)
Your health is priority to h
Your health is priority to h@ll with the ballet class. This can be skipped however your well being and checking out what is wrong with you can't wait. You are not selfish, your wife is by placing her apparent needs last due to a class. You both need to take care of yourselves.
His wife is trying to place
His wife is trying to place HIS needs last due to a class, not hers.
Health is more important than ballet class
There is nothing wrong with being selfish, if you have a good reason. Being in a second marriage, there is normally many good reason for being selfish.
SD can always make up the lost ballet lesson . There no way to make up for bad health.
You are not being selfish and
You are not being selfish and your wife is being extremely foolish. Health is important and delaying discovery of the issue and the required treatment can be deadly. I knew someone who refused to miss a couple hours of work to see the doctor and ended up dying from a very treatable ear infection.
Looks like everyone here is
Looks like everyone here is of the same mind set.
Hope your wife decides to go to the doctors verese a doctor comeing to her in a hospital room.