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GAL appointed

rozzann's picture
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We had court today for the BM's nonstop emotional abuse to SD (see my previous posts).  BM showed up with a new attorney, the 3rd in the past 2 years.  Today was just a hearing over our petition to request restricted visitation along with a rule to show cause for insurance.  She has refused to give DH new insurance information since a job change this month and our parenting agreement states she must carry it through employment but we don't care as long as she has insurance on her.  Of course she claimed she has the info and they will get it to us  (insert eye roll.  She's had 2 weeks to email or get us the info and still hasn't.)  

We figured that she would at least ask about when visitation was to resume or she could see her DD.  Especially with the holidays coming.  Nope.  Nothing.  So our attorney advised us to continue keeping her at home and if BM finally asks to see her then to handle it as we see fit such as supervising it in our home or whatever.  We were willing to accomodate this for Christmas but she has yet to even ask.

Lastly, her attorney requested a GAL.  Mainly because BM can't deny SD's admittance to her therapist about BM's emotional abuse.  Neither can she deny the environment she keeps her in that is causing her physical ailments. BM lives with HER parents and they all smoke in the house.  I grew up in a house with a chainsmoker, however, I was a normal healthy kid and so the smoke and such did not affect me since I was outside a lot, had a great diet and was healthy.  SD was not and 4 years in a house that you rarely left and fought repeated upper respiratory infections from the smoke caused great damage to her lungs and body so that her immune system was shot.  We are still gaining on this after 2 years....  My husband smokes BUT only outside in the unattached garage.  Never has he in our home.  You can tell if someone smokes in their home and tries to hide it, which we know she will try to do.  Will the GAL do home visits?  How about surprise ones? Wink

My question is, has anyone dealt with a GAL?  What exactly should we expect to come of this and what should be prepared for?

tog redux's picture

I think it's different from state to state.  Here they call them the "Attorney for the Child", and they are obligated under law to take the child's position if they are of a certain age, even if they themselves have concerns that run contrary to the child's position (yes, ridiculous).  In our case, this person was seen in his office, never did home visits, but I think some do.  A GAL is actually something different, I don't think they are always attorneys. MIght want to ask DH's attorney what to expect.

TrueNorth77's picture

We had a GAL when my SO and his wife were going through their long drawn-out divorce. She met with both parents multiple times, met with skids, went to skids school a few times to talk to them with no parents around to influence the situation, and met with me. She also talked to a few relatives. I am fairly positive she never went to Crazy's apartment, and I don't remember her ever coming to ours either, although this probably varies. I'm pretty sure she talked to skids school too, and when my SO told her Crazy gets the skids to school late regularly, she requested the school records that show tardies. She requested my SO's work schedule, since that was something Crazy always complained about (he works long hours sometimes, many days in a row). There was even a debate about us taking skids on a trip to Mexico (Psycho refused to sign the passport paperwork) so my SO took her to court, and the GAL submitted a recommendation that we be allowed to take skids on the trip. That hearing lasted about 1 minute before the Judge made Crazy sign the paperwork.  

In the end, my SO got majority custody because a) Crazy bounced around too much and didn't have a consistent place for skids to live. The GAL realllllly wanted to have custody be 50/50, but she also really looks for who can give the most stable home. That was us.  b) Crazy exhibited unstable behavior and the GAL busted her in a lot of lies. Even so, that didn't hold as much weight as you would think it should. I'm pretty sure SS admitted to the GAL that he felt our house was more stable for them, and that she took that into consideration. 

 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I don’t think the smoking will really help because there is nothing in the law books that makes it illegal.

I’m not saying I support it but it’s not going to be the big deal you want it to be. The court can’t consider it if there is nothing in the law about it.

Thumper's picture

Your dh is being sucked into the rabbit hole of Family Court. $$$$$

Have you ever watched "Divorce Corp" movie. You can catch it on Youtube. I strongly suggest you make the effort to watch with your husband.

about smoking in the home... As a smoker, i never have smoked in our home or in the car. Some Bm's just dont give a hoot and will smoke around their kids who have asthma. Matter of fact I know one who does that.  Judge never said a word about it. It is not something Judges deal with, they deal with the law.  DH can ask her not to do it but no one can control or stop what she does that is legal. BM will not loose her custody over it either. NOR would it stop a Judge from giving her custody. Hard truth.

IF she is smoking meth then its a crime or drinking and driving.

Be careful going too deep into the rabbit hole. Before you know it your $$ broke and everything is the same as it was or worse with custody. Years of billable hours with your lawyer.

Keep us posted.

 

 

 

 

 

rozzann's picture

The smoking issue was because 2 years ago before we were granted full custody BM kept taking SD to the doctor and then complained about her snoring and sleep problems.  Thankfully the appt was when DH had SD here so he took her.  Specialist said that under no circumstances should she be around smoke because it was causing damage.  The report then went to the judge and he enforced it to the mother.  So I am pretty sure he will frown upon it still happening.

Either way, I know that this will be more $$$$ just like EVERYTHING else in the stupid courtroom and with stupid BM.  I am so tired of us having to force her to do what's right when some parents just want their kids!

Thumper's picture

Sad day when mothers do not have low bar common sense NOT to smoke around kids, especially when they are ill.

You have a BM who will do what ever she wants. 

Unfortunately it is not unusual.

Prepare yourself for a very long and bumpy road.

((HUGS))