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Xmas Eve at BM's backfired on DH's sister

Disillusioned's picture

As some know from my previous post, the Christmas Eve gathering that DH's family always have together was cancelled for the second year in a row this year, only for DH to learn it's because his sister went instead to BM's Xmas Eve dinner (and dragged FIL with her)

DH and I find this hurtful, manipulative behaviour from his sister but we ignore it as we do much from her, and ended up having an awesome Christmas Eve without all the usual drama and negativity we would have had to deal with Dirol

Well DH learned the next day it didn't all go quite as his sister had planned.

BM's SO decided he was attending this year (usually he doesn't because he can't stand to be on the same planet as DH's eldest daughter let alone in the same room as her) but good for him this year he didn't scurry off anywhere just because DH's eldest daughter was going to be there

So....DH's eldest who absolutely refuses to be at any get together that BM's SO is at, refused to go. Sad for BM that she didn't get to have both her daughters not to mention her much loved grandson at her Christmas dinner, but that is how DH's eldest is.

This wouldn't have made DH's sister very happy either. She would like nothing better than to have DH and I feeling excluded knowing that everyone - with the exception of us - was there on Christmas Eve together. That didn't happen

Also, DH's sister favors DH's eldest over YSD. I suspect DH's sister gets jealous over the attention paid to YSD and have seen for myself even this Christmas how DH's sister changing the subject to SGS when all of us (DH, FIL and I) were making a big fuss over YSD when she walked in the door on Christmas. Anyway, BM and her SO also make a big fuss over YSD and so DH's sister would have to tolerate that all evening on Christmas Eve without using DH's eldest or SGS to detract from it

Doesn't seem to me DH's sister would have had the "wonderful" time she would have liked, nor could she rub in how everyone but DH and I were all together on Christmas Eve

I think DH felt better about that, and I know he really did enjoy our Christmas Eve together. I think he may like this new tradition so much we will insist on sticking to it for all future ones Smile

Disillusioned's picture

I'm just sort of enjoying sitting back and allowing things to happen, as they happened Biggrin

DH and I didn't make a fuss, didn't try to play into any of their games, just said "okay" and went off and had our own little celebration. And we had such a nice time together

The next day we were totally well-rested and ready for the Christmas drama. We showed up happy, in great moods, over the top excited to see YSD and SGS

What a contrast to DH's sister who was rude right from the moment we arrived, couldn't even say hello let alone any sort of holiday greeting or atmosphere, flipped out on DH when he was having too much fun playing with SGS, flipped out on DH when he had the nerve to ask me his wife if I would like a glass of wine or champagne with lunch - as they were all having - of course it was my 'second' glass and apparently DH should have asked EVERYONE this, rather than asking me who was the only one with the empty glass :?

Throughout it all we were non-confrontational and didn't react to any of it. DH's sister on the other hand, was negative, rude, hostile, and infantile.....seems like her actions bit herself in the ass!

Disillusioned's picture

And to top it all off, I received the absolute nicest card (and way too generous gift) from FIL.

So incredibly sweet of him and made him just beam when he saw how touched I was Smile