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Why I dont care for her ex husband

markwvualum's picture

So my wifes ex husband has been invesitaged (never charged) for having child porn on his computer on more than one seperate occasions years apart. Authorities showed up at his place and took his computers with a search warrant both times. One investigation was more recent. The first time this happened when they were still married. This would make me very wary of having the man around his kids alone however she believed the story that he told her that he was looking up stories about surviving sexual abuse as a child (he says he is a survivor and claims that what he was doing). So far there have been no charges. My wife says he was a porn addict during most of their marriage and it was one of the factors that lead to divorce.

My other issue with him is he doesnt have enough boundaries. He literally will come into our home to pick or drop off his kids and chit chat with my wife for 10 minutes each time. I dont want the creep in our house. I also dont trust him.  This is annoying. When my wife picks up or drops of the kids at his place he now brings his kids outside because his live in gf Im sure has said something. My wife thinks its immature of the gf but honeslty kudos to her for having some guts to stand her ground. I dont feel he should be in our house to begin with but I know saying something will do little good with my wife and she'll allow him in anyways espcially if Im not there. I trust my wife, I dont believe she would ever want anything to do with him again physcially, however I dont trust him and find him invasive and more annoying than anything else. He also calls everynight before bed to speak to his kids. His kids are old enough to call him and use the phone if they please. Ive encouraged them to do so but they dont seem interested so he keeps calling my wifes phone to talk to his kids with the same BS each night. "what are you doing?" "goodnight" "love you" BS even though he barely pays child support and doesnt even pay for their health insurance and sees them three hours a week at the most and is content in having others raise his children 24/7 so he can do whatever he pleases.

I might add my wifes ex husbands family are all divorced and they still hang out together regularly (his parents and his mothers new husband all hang around together for the sake of the grandkids) My wife and her ex seem to think its normal that divorced couples should want to all be friends and hang out all the time. Dont get me wrong. I think its great if they all get along but the reality is they dont and the wifes husband finds her ex husband annoying as heck and seems put off most of the time. They also fight a lot when the three of them are together. I can get along with my wifes ex but do I want to be hanging around with im regualrly? Um. heck no.

georgina29's picture

Coming into your house and calling each night is inappropriate and invasive. Your wife needs to set better boundaries with him and stick to them. He is doing this on purpose to create problems within your relationship. A real father who cared about his kids would see them more often and make sure their health care needs were met, not leave it up to the mother of his children to take care of everything. On top of that he sounds like a creep. I wouldnt want him in my house for that reason itself. Two investigaitons? It sounds like he views child porn but doesnt make or distribute it. The authorities are only going after the ones who make and distribute it now because of their lack of resources and how hard it is to prove in court. Most viewers can use the excuse that their computers were hacked, they werent home at the time, accidently clicked on it, had a virus, someone else was using their computer, wifi, IP address, etc. to get out of it. I would've been gone after the first investigation. She said herself he's a porn addict. That in itself is creepy. I dont understand women who marry and have children with creeps and continue to be their friends. Your wife has some issues as well it sounds like. Take care.

Rags's picture

Probably not appropriate .... but... if I were  hanging out with my XIL clan and my XW and her plethera of subsequent Xs and current husbands showed up I would be hard pressed not to greet them collectively with ....  "Well, how does my dick taste guys?"  Since I was the first of  her many husbands.

I don't have the same perspective regarding the SpermIdiot... he is a serial statutory rapist and was 23 when my DW had SS when she was 16.  Him... I would just shoot if he made an appearance at a family event.  I would be hard pressed to get a shot off before just about everyone in my IL clan. They all detest the POS. If he showed up to an event... he would take on the characteristics of a well ventilated Swiss Cheese.