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Why did I take time off for skids for Spring Break?

monkeyboy2030's picture

Please tell me why I fought to have Spring Break (next week) off to travel 10 hours in a car with my wonderful wife, and two skids? I must be completely insane. It is bad enough that they are here this weekend and have taken over the house - AGAIN! Not that they ever step foot outside or do anything besides play xbox and with my wife's iphone. God forbid they would want to do anything productive or constructive.... There was a time when I wanted custody with my wife, but no more - every other weekend is fine. My role is occasional playmate, role model for good husband, and the bank - and that is pretty much it.

One more issue for the group - when the skids visit, boys age 8 and 4, they sleep in the same bed as my wife. They have bunkbeds, but choose to sleep in the same bed. It should be known that when they are with their Father (BF), they also sleep with him, despite the fact that they have their own bedrooms and beds there as well. Is it just me or is this weird? I never slept with my parents growing up.

One more issue - Spring Break is next week, and we are renting a beach house and my wife's family is coming down. I am pretty much convinced that my wife will sleep with the boys all Spring Break. This is upsetting and embarrassing to me. Am I wrong? What do I do or say when her family asks me why my wife sleeps with them instead of me.

Any input would be appreciated.

hismineandours's picture

I would talk to your wife prior and tell her that you need for her to sleep in the same bed as you-If she tells you she intends to sleep with the kids then I would not go. I would enjoy a lovely week relaxing at home or go to a destination of your own choosing. It's horrible that she displaces you from your own bed every other weekend. What on earth does that teach the children?

Done WIth It's picture

Few ways to handle this:

1. She can hug and love the kids all day, but at bedtime, it's only you. Period.

2. You start sleeping in the buff.

3. You tell her, "Honey, it's my bed or the kid's choose cuz I only sleep with you". If she wants to crawl in the bunk with the be it.

4. If she insists the kids sleep with you both, chow down on cabbage and beans......naturally gas those kids out of bed. Make it so they don't want to come near that bed. Don't worry what she thinks, goes with being a wife.

5. Have you asked her why she has those boys sleep with her and alienates you? Maybe it's a way to keep you out of the room.

cenrok's picture

I personally don't believe children should sleep with their parents. I definitely would NOT sleep with my step children.

Do you believe there is there a compromise with your wife?

If her parents ask you why, you could say, "I don't know, you'll have to ask her.

monkeyboy2030's picture

Thank you all for the suggestions - especially "Done with it" - but I thought the "gas treatment" was outlawed by the Geneva convention . ..

I should have been more specific. She sleeps in the boys room or the other bedroom with them, and not with me. There was one time where she and I were together, and they came over, and we didn't sleep. So it is just me, the dogs and cats, and she sleeps with them in the other room.

I have discussed it several times with her, and she always says that we will have them sleeping in their own room at some point in the future. That point was supposed to be by next week - Spring Break. What will happen this summer when they are here 24/7 for 2 months?

Anyway - it is definitely alienation, and I understand that she missed her children and wants to be with them but come on now .. .

Thank you all for listening.