Goforit-AND Stepaside
yes, I realize that there probably will be many struggles in time. And know it will take a very long time, not weeks..but years.LOLOL NO, i'M NOT ROLLING MY EYES....HAHAHAHA NOR AM I FEELING YOUR BEING CYNICAL ..YOU HAVE THE EXPERINCE LONG TERM, THAT I DON'T HAVE "YET" AND OPINIONS AND KNOWLEDGE ARE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, AND THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE , THE MORE I LEARN NOW, THE BETTER
I'M A VERY OPEN, AND HONEST PERSON !! I ALSO BELIEVE SHARING IS IMPORTANT, AND IF ONE'S STORY CAN HELP ANOTHER. IT'S THE BEST EDUCATION ONE CAN HAVE.!!
I'm hoping that it wouldn't be as bad, as I'm sure the last one had it ******I know her and she was not a very "nice" person. very selfish,bossy, controlling and mistreated the children. I know both sides of the story, from her, and from FH.
I hope they really give me a chance.. Because I truly love their father, and would love to see them have a family unit again, if at all possible. But due to BM2 and her alcoholism this will be much harder. I have a background in counseling with 35+ years to include families, mostly PTSD.
And relate well with most people I have dealt with in my life. I just pray, that this turns out well and benefits for all of us, especially FH. My FH needs his children in his life. When he was with the last Gal, he lost his family, she was very jealous of the children and never opened her arms or heart to them.( she's evil, no heart) I plan on being myself. I do Not plan on living a unhappy life. Happiness, Love, and contentment are extremely important to me. My FH is a very honorable man, and commands respect, respect is extremely important to both of us. I hope and believe, he will always back me. He knows how kind, and loving I am, and I will work hard at our life together. I will do what ever is necessary to make it as positive for all of us , as i can. I'm not one to throw in the towel when things get hard. I'm a very fair lady. And live a very positive life.
I have always invested a lot of time in My family,( that's one thing I could give them, was time )they still are grateful, and mention the time I gave each( funny you mentioned that)and we're all very close due to that, I believe.( My parents never gave of themselves in the time way) so it was important that I gave the "TIME" in my life.
I was involved in another step family years ago. When I first became a widow. It was my first experience as a SM, I gave them lots of time too. I could feel they needed the attention, and it turned out to be a good thing for them, and the entire family unit(Boyfriend mom, his kids,their dad) and myself. Even his EXW was nice to me and thanked me for being Kind to her children. ( after I left Cali, the children remained close to the father, they didn't have "any relationship with him" before I was in the picture). As a matter of Fact, NONE SPOKE TO HIM. We all got along fine, basicly there were no major problems with them. After getting to know me, They were hopeful, and even though I am and was engaged to another man then ( a couple years ago), they were still hoping, and begging me, to come back and marry their dad and be part of their family.
But, as I stated in another post , Greg and I were NOT compatible. I Loved his children & Mom, more then I loved him They still remain close , I still talk to them, they call me several times a year. The adult children and his mother. I guess I really impacted that family, and all I did was make them feel welcomed and treated them exactly the way I treat my own mother, children and grand children.

I'm thinking a lot of the problems were the kids were involved, was because she mistreated FH and came into the picture (house) as a guest when they weere dating, and started bosing the Ring leader OSD around. She really didn't have the right to do that as a guest, whether she was dad's girl friend or not. That's the way I saw it, as did FH.
The EXW2 alcoholic. Has the same guy in her life still now 14-15 yrs and doesn't bother FH, or contact him much, extremely rare. I know FH has been to a few family things where she was present like Christmas, a few years ago at ring leaders home,his OBD,( he & his ex girl friend, had no idea she(exw2) would be there and felt very uncomfortable., the ring leader set that up FH was furious ) and Christenings of the grands,(he was alone) also when one of the children was very ill, and hospitalized,so they ran into each other a few times at the hospital, and a couple funerals, EXW2 Mother's and a friend.
He said, it was weird seeing her, she kept staring at him, trying to make eye contact. He's also had a few phone calls with her, about the children,which I will expect.
HAHAHAHA~~ I'm NOT moving fast at all...We've been together for MANY MANY YEARS!! Just didn't involve the children until december 2009( they all live atleast 3- 4 hours from him and some out of state), since I will be moving in permanently this spring 2010.
I had a brain Injury from an accident in 1987-89? not sure which year sorry can't remember it.. so NOT good on dates..It's my cognative area of the Brain. Just so you're aware.:-)
I found a letter recently that FH wrote me after we first dated....letter's dated Feb,2004..when he lived in Florida.
I showed it to him Christmas week..LOLOL It was a letter, that he wrote after we dated almost a year. Which means we've been involved one way or another for over 6 almost 7 years now...March, I can't recall the day sorry
I don't usually allow myself to be pushed over or around I hold my ground. I will keep an eye on that for sure, since you mentioned it "step". And I'm NOT trying to "win" at anything really. I don't feel like I'm in any competition, nor do I compete against anyone. I never felt the need too. I have damn good self esteem and I'm a pretty confident person. I don't let to much bother me. I am also extremely clairvoyant, have been gifted like that my entire life...so NOT much gets past me LOLOL
I do know one thing , after the brain injury. I was completely changed. And changed for the good. it taught me a lot of things about life and what was important and what's NOT.( it (injury) actually helped my clairvoyance and other gifts)
I still own My home, besides my land in Florida. I have NO plans on selling it, not in the near future anyway. My children are there and will always be there. So if it gets to hectic, I can always fly back for a break. And see all my pumpkins...I do MISS the new babies..And that is hard, when I think about them. But otherwise I am as happy as a Piglet...And love my "New Life" so far LOL

Thanks for sharing your wisdom sus