What are you doing about child visitations during coronavirus lockdown?
I don't know how the UK compares to other coubtries with regards to what we're allowed to do, but basically we're all social distancing - everyone who can is working from home. Schools are shutting today and we don't know when they will reopen. Children who have one parent who is a "key worker" (ie people who are needed to keep the country running - including shop packers and school staff) can still go to school. The kids' mother works in a school and their much older half brother who lives with them is a shop packer. The shop where he works has had quite a few cases of coronavirus.
Their mother has asked my husband what childcare he can provide while she is at work as the kids don't want to go to school and their brother can't look after them as he's also working.
Kids are secondary school age, and their mother has worked hard so that one child refuses to sleep away from their mum at all (not even with friends) and the other just refuses to sleep at our house, so it would mean them being dropped off and picked up each day. For a few hours on either side of them being dropped off or picked up they're just very difficult - usually it's not aimed at us, they're just hard work until they settle in, but sometimes they're downright mean. So any prolonged period of them "staying" with us gets very stressful for everyone apart from the mother. Their mother refuses to believe that this is an issue. And she knows her children best. End of story.
I'm in 2 minds. On the one hand we should be helping out, but on the other hand it makes a bit of a mockery of social distancing if they're constantly coming and going between our house and a house that is at high risk of coming into contact with coronavirus. Also the constant coming and going is going to make life hell. Plus this is likely to be an on-going situation as the mother will be getting a rota of when she needs to work, and there won't be anywhere to escape to.
Apart from this there is the whole weekend visitation - what is everyone else doing about this?
Switching houses twice a day
Switching houses twice a day just because they don't want to go to school is absolutely ridiculous. It's not the kids' call. They have a solution - school - so bm should take advantage of it while it lasts.
No switching here
BM over here keeps leaving the skids at home to see her boyfriend who we know is cheating on her (because she gave her eldest teen daughter her iPad to use after BM broke eldest girls laptop, and BM left her email on said iPad. Meaning oldest skid has seen many of her moms crazy emails to her BF who she keeps begging to take her back as well as the BMs emails to many women (over 10!) that her skank of a BF has been cheating on BM with. Classy broad that BM!)
So my SO is not picking up the girls because we have to assume they and their disgusting mother are compromised.
If they bring in lockdown
That wouldn't be possible anyway so it doesn't make sense. Dh and bm need to make a decision now that they stay the night /several days at least in one place?
We had a surprising message from bm yesterday that she (bf) would be home schooling ss and he will stay there if on lockdown. Coming from a lady who cldnt wait to offload him at any opportunity even when really sick, I can only hope she stays with live in nanny, sorry boyfriend :)
That's silly, but she could hire
a college student. Lots of them are getting hired as nannies and only work for one family and even live with the family to prevent the spread of the virus.
DH has banned the skids from our house since they were not taking it seriously at BMs house. Luckily everyone involved can work from home.
This is up to DH
If he want to spend his time picks up dropping off take care of his kids. That's up to him. I would not help with this crazyness
Really don’t feel it’s safe to have SD over
I feel like an absolute b@tch for thinking this, but I absolutely do not think it's safe to have my SD coming over on the weekends right now. Her mother and live in boyfriend are both ticket agents at the airport, and SD goes to preschool. DH and I have an 11 month old baby, who I obviously do not want to be exposed to this virus. I feel like I can't ask my husband to not have his daughter stay with us for the time being, but on the other hand this completely breaks the 'social distancing' we are all supposed to be practicing. Oh, and SD is frequently sick, and her mother is not the most sanitary person. So this scares me even more. Anyone else dealing with this worry?
Yes totally
Yes totally. It's a real dilemma. I'm moving towards thinking this is a bigger thing than DH seeing his kids and them seeing him. It's about keeping the whole of society safe. But it's one thing to think that in one's head. It's another to be the one to push preventing kids seeing their dad.
I’m currently overseas from hubby and australia is in lockdown
till end of may and for the next 6 months foreigners willnot be allowed unless they are permanent residents or citizens of Australia. If you do not have that then you must be either the spouse of an Australian citizen or child.
hubby is supposed to come here mid mayfor religious holidays as it falls during school term. I’ve been worried he will try to play a pity me party for ss21.5 but ss won’t be allowed in australia because he is not my kid and not seen as important as my husband in family ties with our 2 young kids together.
Plus ss basic hygiene is debatable
This is much, much bigger
This is much, much bigger than any parent wanting to see their kids right now. If your DH is going to take the kids, he needs to keep them. No switching between houses, especially twice a day, just because BM has trained them to need her in an unhealthy way. I’ve told DH we are not taking the boys until it’s safe to do so. It caused a fight naturally, but social distancing includes families. There are millions of step-families out there, if all of them continue to pass kids back & forth they’re putting everyone else at risk. It’s incredibly selfish right now. Feelings aren’t important at the moment, what kids/skids want is irrelevant. They’re going to need to learn the hard lesson that life really doesn’t revolve around them...
Reasonable distancing is one
Reasonable distancing is one thing and is important. Over stating this thing as some kind of save the world level crisis is naive.
I would be one to apply pragmatic but reasonable boundaries. Kids do need to stay with one parent or the other until this thing fades. It is simple. Keeping it simple makes it manageable.
However, limited social transiting is really not a notable risk. I have traveled quite a bit through all of this
without much worry or concern though while mantaining cognizance of personal space, sanitizing/washing hands, and staying away from high risk peopleto until enough time has passed to miniize the risk of giving them any bugs that may have been picked up during travel.
If schools are open, kids should be in school whehter they want to be in school or not. Of course once countries invoke travel restrictions or municipalities/States shut down schools it is beyond individual choice.
This will all pass and in review I forecast that it will be determined to have been 2/3 political/media hype and 1/3 legitimate.
We need to use our heads people. Over reaction serves no purpose and helps no one. There is no real economic crisis. Once the peak of Virus panic passes the markets swill return strong. I can't wait for the the TP and sanitizer horders to be broke and not able to get rid of their supplies while those who were reasonable in their actions quickly return to normalcy.
Take care everyone. I hope that each of you and your families are safe and healthy.
Personally I think normal visitation suspended !!!!!!
Personally I think "normal visitation" should be suspended until further notice in countries such as the US with Pandemics and closures!! Unless both parents are mandated to work and they are switching back in forth to cover work shifts and all involved (Meaning current SO's) are on board, I think this is a time we need to suspend visits for the duration of the pandemic!!
From this point forward no need to spread this thing. How about Face time and Skype until this is over?? Maybe these kids would take it seriously if the parents ALL did!!!