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We are definately splitting up

Redsonya's picture

Phew... okay so DH and I are definately splitting up. It actually doesn't have anything to do with the BM or Skids, its issues that DH has that I no longer want to deal with. I will say that a couple months ago when I contemplated this I was so tore up because I wanted our happy little family, and what if I couldn't see the Skids anymore, etc. I don't really feel that way anymore. Actually I feel relived. I feel like I've invested a TON of time, money, and effort just to have the skids turn on me as soon as BM doesn't like me, DH has brought me nothing but problems with his finances, BM, the house he still owns with her, etc. I have already talked to DH and since my car, furnishings, and house were bought before I met him, they are separate property and he has agreed to sign paperwork Monday. Here are a few reasons why I am feeling good about this:

1. No more having to deal with that hag BM - although I will help DH as a friend with court paperwork because I am dying to see her have to work a full 40 hours a week to pay the bills.

2. I have a 2500 square foot 4 bedroom house and now it will just be me and my DD3. We'll have two guest rooms, an office/play room, and craft room all to ourselves.

3. I can decorate my house however I want. No more Skid requests for black walls, orange towels, pictures of monkeys drinking liquer, and other tacky decor.

4. I don't ever, ever, ever have to set eyes on BM's nephew again. Out of all the reasons I am happy, this one keeps making me smile. I will never have to clean up after him, listen to his requests that I buy him everything under the sun, or find new soda stains on the carpet because he can't be bothered to wipe it up. I won't have to hear DH call that kid his son anymore or listen to him talk. My god, the kid is so stupid its painful.

5. No more having my DD3 call the cat a "douchebag" because skid 12 thinks its funny to teach her cusswords.

6. No more dealing with my DH's alcoholic brother, who short changed me on some materials and kept $80 of mine, has used my credit card without permission, and is generally just a scumbag.

Frankly, I am sad that we are over, but its been a long time coming and at this point, I cannot keep on in this life. I need some downtime with just me and DD3 in my own house without all of the constant drama, needs, and crap that goes along with being married to someone with kids and people he just calls his kid (BMs nephew), who is painfully slow in setting boundaries with BM, and has a huge financial landslide occuring around him because he didn't deal with this crap during the divorce. I am going to take all the money I'll save and buy DD3 a pony - seriously. Paying for a stall is about a third of what we pay for BM and skids upkeep. Ahhhhh....sweet relief.

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

{{{Hugs}}} I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I'm glad you're feeling relief. Pamper yourself and DD for awhile and enjoy the peace!

Redsonya's picture

Thanks all! I keep thinking that I'll feel worse, but I don't! DH is out of the house now and I do have alot of fond memories of putting Xmas toys together, him bringing me coffee every morning in bed, our trips together, making pancakes for the kids on Saturday morning, but the ongoing, insane, constant nonsense that he has brought into my life is too much. I have gotten to the point where I would rather be single and have peace. I have the papers drafted and filing/serving him Tuesday.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I love your list. I think you really have thought this out and are making the best decision for yourself and your daughter. Nice job.

Doubletakex3's picture

I admire your strength and positive attitude. Having been through this too, I understand the sense of relief. It's a sure sign that you're doing the right thing for yourself. Best wishes to you as you create a new future.

reluctantgma's picture

It's nice to read that somebody else made the "I'm done with YOUR nonsense" choice, redsonya. I put Bozo and his Baby Huey out of my house almost 2 months ago and the instant relief was there for me too. Am still a little short on money, but am at least not bleeding all my finances into covering for 220# 14yo BH's excessive food and toilet paper needs or Bozo's beer any longer. BH sounds a lot like your ex's disgusting nephew. I so do not miss him. I do miss or feel a bit of a void without Bozo here sometimes. We've spent about 3 weekends together since they've been gone, when BH spends his EOWs with his BM. I'm struggling with that at this point. Sure, I made Bozo's life better and easier for him, but we weren't in it together. If I'm really honest with myself, it doesn't seem that he cared about my life being easier or better, much less our lives together. It's pretty clear that Bozo finds comfort in living with no boundaries. He is passive-aggressively resentful that I finally set my boundaries with him. Oh well, too bad, so sad, Bozo.

Space is good. Enjoy! The pony sounds like fun too! Huggs & best wishes to you and DD!

KirbyKat's picture

Yea!! So happy for you. You will LOVE the peace and quiet in a house with just you and DD!!!

hbell0428's picture

It must be very hard; and at times I think the same thoughts......how much easier it would be; but then I have more downs then up's so I stay......it really sounds like you have your ducks in a row and you CAN do this on your own!! Good for you; you make many women hopeful!!