Update from RedSonya:) Life after Skids....
For anyone who remembers me over the past couple years, I lost my husband to cancer when I was four months pregnant with our daughter, jumped into a marriage two years later with three stepbrats (one of which didn't even belong to my second husband), and a narcissitic psycho of an ex-wife. Second husband also had a drinking problem so I held everything together with my home (that I own myself) and career. That was a hard, emotionally brutal couple of years. Second husband hung himself in my guest room while my daughter and I were at Disneyland and the stepbrats tried to bring the sheriff to rifle through my belongings to find their dad's things - after I washed, packed and delivered a trailer full of his belongings to them just two weeks after he died. They somehow thought that I was even going to let BM over here to pick up things as well, ha hahahah. Oh, and I found an obituary that BM clearly posted listing BM's nephew as his "son", but not including my five year old daughter who he had raised since she was 1.
I am happy to say that I have not heard from the stepbrats since late May. We did end up getting some of his ashes after I "traded" them some photos that I found and we spread them on Father's Day. His daughter took everything of value (tools, vehicle, trailers, etc), but never went through probate where his many creditors could have filed for repayment. She also never ocntacted anyone about his death so I continue to get letters from creditors and the IRS. I have a form letter that I print and mail back providing his daughters contact info, listing the belongings that she took, and providing them with BM's contact info and a copy of the divorce decree listing the debt as her community debt with my ex. I've gone through my whole house and completely scrubbed it from top to bottom. Got rid of anything that reminds me of the stepbrats. I moved my 18 year old cousin in and she watches and picks up my daughter whenever I need her to for rent. I have been enjoying myself just reading, doing crafts, riding my horse, etc. There are still times that I think about how awful the stepbrats and BM were and I admit I am dying to see karma kick them in the butt. It's like PTSD, lol - I keep thinking they are going to show up again causing trouble. There are several men (friends of friends and business collegues) who came out of the woodwork interested in dates, but I am truly just happy on my own and living peacefully.
If nothing else, I have learned ALOT the past couple years, and from this board. I have made a promise to myself to 1) set boundaries that I feel comfortable with and NEVER allow myself to be walked on for fear of losing a man 2) if I do date again, I will be his partner, and I will maintain a cool distance from any kids or ex-wife 3) I will only get married again if it is in my best financial interest. Not ever going to make someone elses life (or their brats or lazy BM) more rich with my years of hard work. I just flat won't ever do it again. Onto a happy and peaceful life!