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Life after SKids

Redsonya's picture

A few here may remember me:) It's been about two years since I posted. I was the one who's DH1 died of a totally sudden and expected cancer when I was pregnant with our daughter. I married DH2 about 18 months after - big mistake. He had two kids and BMs nephew, who he raised. These kids were 10, 12, and 16 when I met them and just as crazy as their BM. DH2 had a drinking problem and took his life in my house while I was at Disneyland with my daughter in 2014.

Anyways, since then, I have just continued on. Working with the same company, in the house I owned before I met DH2, and taking care of my daughter, who is now 8. I ended up with the insurance payout from my company that is provided for spouses, which I would have stupidly shared with the SKids, even after the years of crazy. But they "traded" DH2s ashes to me for my daughter after calling the sheriff to my house trying to gain entry to my house to claim what they wanted. So they got nothing:) I used it to travel the world with my daughter over the past two years and pad her college fund.

Meanwhile, the BM (who is 44 years old) got knocked up with the stepdaughters friend a month after their dad killed himself. A 20 year old kid who attended the high school that BM is a part time secretary at (yes, I turned her into the District and Principal since she admitted to the SKids they were dating a month or so after he turned 18, but we know it started before that). She kicked SS16 out of the house DH deeded over to her to move this kid in and SD18 got to raise her very troubled brother in her new town, 400 miles away while at college. He has now come out as a trans person and she gained 70 pounds while taking care of him and is $40,000 in debt for a degree in pottery. I know all of this from one of DH2s high school friends who I have stayed close with. I actually really feel for both of the SKids, but thank god I am out of the whole thing.

I came back here to re-read my previous posts and others since I started dating an old friend with two kids. Gonna walk away from that relationship. His kids and BM are WAY too much like the previous. I knew something was bothering me about the new situation! Anyways, the peace, calm, adventures and happiness when there are no troubled SKids involved is awesome. There is life, a GOOD life after them!

Harry's picture

Don't have to live with him !! You can date, go to diner, go to events, go away by yourself.
Then you can go home and not deal with the crazy
SK don't leave. They will always be there someway. Some how.
Always want to go away with you paying for it etc

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Hello, Redsonya! I remember you very well. Couldn't believe the crap your skids and their BM pulled in the aftermath of your H's death, but it's great to hear that you're getting the best revenge of all - a life lived well while the wallow in toxicity.

Redsonya's picture

Thank you! Yes, we are doing great. I still can't believe all the crap I tolerated, lol. Never again!

Redsonya's picture

Thank you! Yes, we are doing great. I still can't believe all the crap I tolerated, lol. Never again!

Redsonya's picture

Lol, you have no idea. Very glad to be out of it. A little gunshy now, as you can imagine, getting involved with anyone new, but that's okay.

Iamwoman's picture

I'm so glad your life is great after skids. My husband says we are soulmates and he really is a great guy and my best friend. However, he of course - like the great guy he is - loves his sons despite themselves.
After reading so many stories on this site, I see that it will never get better no matter what I do. I won't leave my husband (unless of course, he changes and starts putting his brats before me - I don't see that happening anytime soon, but you never know - the older one is very intelligent and manipulative), but I am trying my best to have a happy family when it's just me, hubby, and BD, and to disengage during the skids every other weekend visitation.
Most of the time, I wish my husband would give up on his own children, but then that would make him not such a great guy wouldn't it? Oh, the philosophical headache!

Redsonya's picture

I think there is a difference between "giving up" on a kid and allowing bad behavior. I will never, ever allow a kid to come into my home again and treat me or my daughter poorly. Name calling, tantrums, taking over the living room, leaving messes, etc. Not ever going to happen again. I learned my lesson. My daughter is not perfect, but she has been raised with manners and respect for adults. And when she makes a mistake, there are consequences.