UPDATE- She is NOT coming on the cruise!!!
OK.....for those or you that read about my drama on 15 y.o. stepb*tch went howling to bio-mom cause me and hubby planned a 2 week romantic cruise without her.....original thread was here.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/43348
UPDATE
1. The little c*nt is NOT going on the cruise....end of story. For one, it's already fully booked and it's too late to include her in this carefully planned event. Two, I made it clear to hubby that if she goes on this thing, I am pulling the plug on this relationship and he can move back to his momma's. (Lets' remember....I make a significantly higher income as a sales executive than he does.....that nice huge 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house though he contributes is under my name) He caved, and saw my viewpoint after hammering it in. He agrees that she has been stand-offish from day 1 and keeping me at arms length, while eating my food, having run of the house (her laptop that I bought, and that beautiful room I set up for her) and the pool outside on MY paycheck. She does NOT deserve an extravagant cruise.
2. We had a long chat about the "real underlying issue".....how she wants to spend time with JUST 'daddy.' That she feels she doesn't get 'daddy' to herself and feels like he isn't her 'daddy' cause I'm around and in the way. That she didn't 'ask' for 'me' to step in the picture and 'take over' nor did she ask for 'daddy' to divorce 'mommy' and turn her life upside down. That she feels 'daddy' found a new 'life' that's so much better than when the three of them were all together as one happy family. *BARF*
So....we decided that starting next weekend, she can have 1-2 weekends a month with just 'daddy.' I agreed that on ONE weekend per month I will make it a point to leave the house and do my own thing for the afternoon while they spend quality time together.
The first weekend, they plan on going out to lunch and then to a baseball game. Stepbrat was over this weekend and asked what I planned on doing while they were away. I sweetly responded "I'm taking my niece (who's also 15) out for a girls day, we'll be shopping for her new prom dress and then we'll be at the spa getting our nails done. Very much looking forward to it." Oh she brushed me off and pretended she didn't care, but the look on her face.....PRICELESS.
Hey it's her loss, she wanted me out of her life so now she got it. My niece is an angel and loves me, treats me with respect, so I have no problem spoiling her. Stepb*tch can have fun at her baseball game *SCOFF* and I do need a new garden put in my backyard, maybe her and 'daddy' can spend time doing that.
I might even plan an extragavant cruise with my sister and niece just to rub it in.
More rants....
1. The little c*nt continues to party out with her gals on the weekends, left vomit on the toilet ring past two weekends ....at least it wasn't a turd.
2. I don't know why it's so damn difficult for her to put her dirty dishes in the sink. Also, why does the food she eats always make it to the table and never her mouth??
3. If she continues to inhale everything in my fridge I'm going to start hiding stuff.
4. I'm sick of seeing dirty panties and socks on her room floor, left conveniently for me to clean up after she leaves.
5. The next time she leaves a dirty tampon/pad on the bathroom floor I'm putting it on her pillow.
Thanks guys for all your helpful (and humorous!!) comments. I swear I love the snarky attitude you guys have and it's great to have a forum to let my frustrations out with little to no judgement.
Look if I am being immature and stooping down to her level by all means CALL ME OUT.
I still don't understand the
:jawdrop: I still don't understand the hygiene stuff. I would take the dirty whatevers she leaves in the bathroom and leave them on her pillow. And no, I am not joking.
5. The next time she leaves a
5. The next time she leaves a dirty tampon/pad on the bathroom floor I'm putting it on her pillow.
I totally love this and I am going to do exactly this the next time it happens at my house.
Wow I totally missed that she
Wow I totally missed that she already said she was going to do that lol.
The dirty unders I would pick
The dirty unders I would pick up (like with a stick or something) and throw in the trash. You are not her maid to pick up her clothes, wash them, and then put them away.
The vomit on the toilet seat is just boggling my mind. Is your dh not concerned that his underage daughter is out drinking? Is this really ok with him? Why is he not addressing it with her and grounding her instead of thinking about taking her on expensive cruises?
Perhaps you can leave her dirty tampon or pad in his briefcase, lunchbox, seat of his truck. I am not sure I would bother to leave it on her pillow-I would take it to dear daddy and this can be part of special daddy/daughter time. he can show her how to properly dispose of feminine products and how to clean one's vomit off the toilet seat after puking following a night of drunkeness.
I do think he needs daddy/daughter time-so he can start to parent this child instead of coddling and spoiling her. Although I am sure it will just be more spoiling so what the point?
LOVE!!! >>>this can be part
LOVE!!! >>>this can be part of special daddy/daughter time. he can show her how to properly dispose of feminine products and how to clean one's vomit off the toilet seat after puking following a night of drunkeness.
Know what his response is?? He chuckles!! "I was a wild child at 15 too, guess she following in my foot-steps, ahhhh she'll grow out of it.... hur hur hur." WTF??
You think he will chuckle
You think he will chuckle when he opens his briefcase or lunchbox (preferably in front of a room full of coworkers)and a dirty tampon falls out?
Good for you!!! I didn't get
Good for you!!! I didn't get to have a honeymoon (Alaskan Crusie) because DH just couldn't understand why I didn't want stepturd to not only come with us but stay in the same room.
I would save all the nasty tampons and wrap them up for her Christmas present.
Oooooh I agree with this too
Oooooh I agree with this too - make your HUSBAND pick up her filth and I bet that crap will stop right quick.
So glad to get your update!
So glad to get your update! We've been wondering about it!!! Thanks for sharing. She sounds like a real "treat" LOL>
I am laughing so hard. I
I am laughing so hard. I needed this today. This is so funny....and how don't dirty pad/tampons make it into the trashcan anyway? bahahaha! She's a slob. Congrats for putting your feet down...enjoy your cruise...drink...have a blast and have the loudest most innapropriate sex you've ever had and enjooyyy all of that time without....show her dad how much more fun life could be without the brat over your shoulder!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWOOOOOO!
Not only does it seem that
Not only does it seem that skids not only want their bio parent all to "dere wittle selves" but they also seem to want to see said step-parent left out of everything and being miserable. HA! Over my dead body. I refuse to allow anyone to have that kind of gleaming satisfaction
I've decided to turn my focus and energy on spoiling my niece instead, as she appreciates the love and kindness that I've tried to extend to stepb*tch for the last 5 years.
Daddy can take her for a new prom dress, manicures, and all the girly things. I'm done.
Good for you, badmammajamma!!
Good for you, badmammajamma!! (Love your screenname, by the way!)
Yep, sometimes all it takes is to "outsmart" them all - not only the skids, but FDH's/DH's & exW's/BM's, too!! Seems like you're certainly on the right track with staying a step ahead of all of them at ALL times.
I've come to the same conclusion/plan of action over the past year of being here on StepTalk that you have. It's my own form of disengaging.
I leave FDH to do ALL the parenting - he cooks, cleans, does laundry, etc... I let FDH see with HIS OWN EYES how lazy, disgusting and totally manipulative SD16.5 is - JUST.LIKE.HER.MOTHER. I give the skids & BM enough of the proverbial "rope to hang themselves with" and when their lazy, disgusting ways affect FDH, he gets all over their asses because he now sees them for what they really are.
The only things I "worry" about or concern myself with? Are those things that will make ME HAPPY, will improve MY LIFE, MY GOALS, MY RELATIONSHIP with FDH. Everything else? That's FDH's responsibility, not mine.
Oh, and I TOTALLY 100% AGREE WITH YOU about spending time/money, etc...on only those people who actually APPRECIATE IT!! I hear that loud and clear, let me tell you!! Go ahead and SPOIL YOUR NIECE ROTTEN! Let SD15 see what she's missing out on because she's so stuck on being such a selfish person - too bad, so sad. You reap what you sew.
Great post, badmammajamma! Congrats & have a GREAT TIME on your cruise!! You deserve it!
I agree with the tampon
I agree with the tampon strategies. I refuse to pick up my SD17's messes on a consistent basis, because she needs to do that herself. However, if it gets to a certain point, I will pile up all of her trash, dirty clothes, etc., on the bed, then cover it with her comforter. That way she gets a little surprise when it is bedtime! The key is to do it sporadically, so that she never knows when she'll have the bedtime surprise.
You described one of my
You described one of my husband's daughters to a tee...except she was to ignorant to take a kewl tril (Cabo San Lucas) and instead wanted to spend the few days at a friends house.
The slob then broke into ours and had a party. Of course, stuff got ruined because of the lying pig.
What I finally did....one evening when having guests here....left her panites with the sanitary napkin in it on the floor. Left the towels on the sink, hair on the counter (she'd taken off to be with friends)...otherwise, the guest bath was just as she left it.
As people were arriving, I asked my husband to please check the bathroom....he did and he just about stroked....right after almost barfing.
Guess what...that kind of slob grows up and gets animals that allows them to potty everywhere and doesn't clean.
The best thing...when they leave a mess, leave it for others to see. Then, when it's witnessed, in front of others ask her if she'd mind cleaning her things.
I feel for you.
Well that little brat may gat
Well that little brat may gat daddy for a bit but think u shld NOT bow to her demands - whichis obviously supported by the bm
That little pain in the arse needs to see wot real love looks like cos she didnt see it in her bio parents life....obvi they did things bythemselves which s why she thinks her father can leave u alone to take her out!
I would be getting Disney dad to tell her how wen your in love with someone u want to spend every moment with them.....
Showing her tru love shld shut her up.....and if it don't...stiff