Stinky, rude part 2
Well here we are, this is my 3rd post sincei joined the group and i have to say your words have helped me deal with SD13 alot better than i used to.
I have stepped back and let the awful negative light shine through her and FINALLY my husband has realised his perfect angel is an absolute brat. The latest was last weekend we took her out for dinner and the next day we took her for lunch and me up with my parents. Her meal came to the table with salad on it after we requested it didnt. Instead of pushing it aside like a normal 13 yr old should, she raised her voice and said DISGUSTING and tipped her plate over so the salad slid off onto her napkin. She was pulled up for being so rude and immature, my exact words were: "for goodness sake! how embarrassing you are not 5" her father (my husband) also pulled her up for the embarrassing outburst. She sulked for the rest of the meal and grunted at my parents or barely opened her mouth when they tried to make conversation with her.
As soon as were back in the car she was starihjt onto her phone to her spiteful mother to say i was mean to her. The usual occured, we were ignored all the way home and as soon as he got out of the car she pulled her dad aside to say she missed her mummy in her pathetic baby voice and wanted to go home. I was ecstatic! I couldnt wait for her to leave. 1 hour after she had gone, my husband received a text which was obviously written by her mother saying she no longer wants to see her dad as she doesnt want to hate him and that he takes my side and we make her feel horrible. Before she left my husband raised the immature behaviour at the restaurant and said you want to be treated like adult, then own your errors and mistakes, apologise and realise what she had done was wrong and we can all move on. She of course cant say sorry error or admit fault. she is seeing a phycologist and i think there are underlying issues with her. I feel she has aspergers or ADHD but of course no one can get the info from the dopey mother on what the phycologist says even though we pay. My husband needs to make an appointment with the Dr and see what they say is wrong with her. After 4 years of dealing with the rude disresepectful brat i am happy to say i am glad she doesnt want to come over anymore. I am enjoying the peace. My husband of course is upset but he is also not bowing to her revolting behaviour. She thinks she doesnt have to follow rules or have to apologize for bad behaviour. She is worng cause she wont be invitied back until she realises the world dosnt revolve around her. Thanks for the rant xo
ADHD or not, her behaviors
ADHD or not, her behaviors are inappropriate. I am sorry for your DH that his daughter is rude and playing the brat games orchestrated by her BM. Hopefully SD will eventually figure out that she can't be an ill behaved shit of a person and have anyone of note give a shit about her.
Good luck.
She shouldn't be allowed to
She shouldn't be allowed to run home to Mommy's every time DH tries to make her act like a human being. Though eventually she's going to refuse to come over with her mother's blessing, anyway.
It may be a mental health issue, but clearly, BM coddling her and supporting her feelings that DH is a meanie isn't helping.
I agree
Shen you allow the child to have control over when they come and go, you are asking for a lot of trouble. My oldest two SSs would call BM and have her come get them anytime they didn’t get their way, or if they were BORED, or if we weren’t doing something extra fun(and expensive).
He hasn’t seen either of them in years because BM and DH gave them all power and control.
The SD is a child and therefore has no say in when she comes and goes. The court decided that.
I second that
SS9 used to try to pull that with BM and with DH. Whoever he was with made him mad or wouldn't do what he wanted or got onto him for something? "I want to go to my dad's/mom's!" Neither one of them ever gave in. Basically just shrugged and told him, "Well, too bad." He hasn't tried that tactic in two years. But then it probably helps when both parents are responding in the same way.
Yes it would be simple if
Yes it would be simple if both parents got on but the mother is an evil immature idiot which wont allow this
We dont have nay say when she
We dont have nay say when she wants to go home, she calls the mother and she rocks up 15 mins later 2 doors down (never parks out the front of our home) she never calls my husband to find out what has happened, she takes the brats word for it that were mean again and bungs on the fake tears and off she goes again.
This is also out of control
This is also out of control as she has a mobile phone so she calls mum and heads out the dront of the house for her to pick her up. It would be different if she had to use my husbands phone to call her. The mthe rnever calls my husband to say what has happened. She just turns up 2 houses down and take the brats word that it was all our fault.