After a few years of trying to do the best that I can I have decided to step back. HCBM continues to stalk me on social media. I reached out to SD16 for her birthday and didn't think I was overstepping. HCBM over reacted. I went to a stepmom group trying to comprehend why it had to be such a big problem. She joined the group and flipped her lid. She continues to believe and argue that I abuse her children. It doesn't matter what I tell her. It doesn't matter what my SO tells her.
I am going to start following NACHO stepparents for style and Grey Rock responses when met with any resistance. None of this is my SOs fault. He really only has control over what he does in response to HCBM. I can understand that he is trying not to lose his kids. I can respect that without losing myself. I can't control either of them. I can't make decisions for them. I can't make her respect me. I just want to be done with her trying to get in the middle of everything. Her behavior is not acceptable and I won't allow her to control my life or my house anymore.