Breaking point
I have pretty much reach my breaking point. SD15 has been told by her mother to never leave me alone with their brother because I'm somehow abusing him. The schedule is constantly changing. My SO has said that SD 15 can't work on the weekends that she's here and now she is. All the work I put into meal prepping is down the drain. Our own relationship issues are put on the back burner because his kids always come first. They're constantly talking bad about me to their mom and she encourages it. My SO never stands up for me. He constantly makes excuses for his ex wife's behavior and his children's behavior. He acts like they're babies when it comes to chores.
He didn't even notice that I've been withdrawing from him. He gave me a promise ring as a late Christmas present. I don't even want to wear it after the last few days. He it's like he doesn't notice/care about how I feel about anything that's been going on. I'm tired of being with a doormat that couldn't be bothered to take my feelings into account. He bought this ring knowing that they're going to go back to their moms and tell her that we got engaged. She's just going to flip out and make things worse.
It was all too much. The youngest has a birthday party to go to today and the oldest works two hours later. I kicked them all out. I texted him and told him just to take everyone with. I wasn't going to be the center of the oldest attention. He didn't even bother to look at the texts. It was harsh but I told them that I didn't want them here. I'm not going to be everyone's scapegoat. This all feels like emotional neglect. I've already been in a abusive relationship. I'm not going back to that.
I feel for you
One statement from your post stands out, "My SO never stands up for me". I'm sorry. Throw this one back, like the song says, there's too many fish in the sea.
It's easier for him to
It's easier for him to appease his daughters and ex than it is to stand up to them. I've been with him for three years. He has never stood up for me. I thought it was just going to take time. It doesn't have to be all the time but it would feel good to know that he would actually stand up for his relationship.
Its hard
Its hard to see a 3 year relationship end but do you think it will get better? Ive read your blogs and comments to others. You seem like a wise and caring person. What would you say to someone else?
I should have left before I
I should have left before I got pregnant. I don't know if I would have changed what I've done over the last few years. There is some good to our relationship. There's just so much that feels bad right now. I'm tied to him for the rest of my child's life regardless of what we do from here.
I would try therapy if I though he'd actually participate in it but I can't even get him to go to therapy for his kids.
Solo therapy
When my DH refused to go to marriage counseling, I went myself. It changed my life, DH's and the lives of 5 children.
I've been trying to go to
I've been trying to go to therapy on my own. I have a lot of my own baggage to unpack that I'm not dealing with.
I'm not going to be everyone
I'm not going to be everyone's scapegoat. This all feels like emotional neglect. I've already been in a abusive relationship. I'm not going back to that.
Then, give him back his "promise" ring and promise yourself a better life.
Maybe it's time you stand up
Maybe it's time you stand up for yourself since SO won't. If it results in your relationship ending then so be it. You don't deserve to be taken for granted and you will never be happy if you allow it.
If SO sees the writing on the wall he may re-establish his priorities if not then you know you are not a priority and there is no point in continuing this relationship.
His daughter actually
His daughter actually apologized to me yesterday. I didn't take it very well but I did get some of it out. It's not my fault that her parents don't get along. It's not my fault that they can't agree. She only sees one side of the argument because we don't talk bad about her and I know it's constant at her moms house. She's not coming up with the abuse allegations on her own. She hears it from someone and it's not her dad. I never expected her to apologize for her behaviors because it's something her mom isn't known for. Things feel a little better but it's still not great. I'm sure things will get worse before it gets better.