Step kids sports!

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ss14 is in football and since he is in middle school his games are on thursday nights. Bm called dh last night and yelled at him for not being to any of his games.
Dh reminded her that he has to get up at 4am EVERY morning and that ss14 games are an hour away one way. he wouldn't get home till after 11pm or later. He said it's not that he doesn't want to be there and wishes he could go but if he does he won't get any sleep and that is a bad thing driving a BIG truck! Calling in once a week is not an option as he would lose his jib. She still is not getting it.
However next week dh will be on Vac. so he can go to that game but bm is still mad at him. What is her problem?

How many dads can;t go to sports b/c of things like this?

The one that my skids go to.

The one that my skids go to. I've been to LOTS of games and trust me i know what time they get out!

DH and I try to make all of

DH and I try to make all of the kids, both mine and his events. IF WE CAN. Work has to be a priority, if we can't make it due to work then that's just the way it is. We at least make a point of showing our interest in the kids sports even if we can't attend. We call to see how it went, ask lots of questions, that kind of thing.

My ex is hit or miss at our kids events. I never give him a hard time about it. I don't know his schedule or his obligations. I have to assume he comes when he can. Life is about balancing all your obligations. I notice that one sport is more appealing to him than the others and he tends to never miss that while not showing much interest in the others. My son is very appreciative of the time we give to his sports. He thanks me often for being there.

No there is no time for a

No there is no time for a nap, on thursdays he has be there earlier for a meeting they have once a week, plus it is a long day, his route is longer on that day. But like I said he is going next week as he is on vac. Dh does the best he can. As I said he does wish he could be there and told ss14 that.

Geez is this falling on deaf

Geez is this falling on deaf ears or something? DH drives a truck a BIG truck for a living and if he is tried behind that wheel or something happens it is a BIG deal! He will get in trouble they monitor them and make sure. He can't drive a truck that big on just a couple of hours sleep. yeah most of the time people can do it once a week for the kids but if you drive a truck like that on little sleep and hit someone they will die! he isn't trying to come up with an excuse he just will do anything to avoid a wreak! That is more important don't ya think?

PurpleDaisies - I think you

PurpleDaisies - I think you husband is being very responsible because believe me everyone who thinks he should forgo sleep to see his son play would not like to see him coming head on into their car because he fell asleep. Even if SS was your own bio child the same rules would apply - I don't quite see why people are trying to make hubby look like the bad guy - tell your BM if she does not want her CS then hubby can quit his job and take a lesser paying one and be at every game but if she likes her CS then STFU!!

I get what you are saying but

I get what you are saying but sometimes that just isn't reality. Dh does talk to him about his football all the time. He just can't be there. There is no way around it. He has to work and he HAS to have the hours he has or get fired. Lets face it jobs are hard to get right now. Which would you rather he be a dead beat dad and not pay a thing but be in the stands or work his ass off to do everything he can to support them!?

krisnkids - You have a very

krisnkids - You have a very unrealistic view of life - while it would be great to be able to be at kids sports events it is not always possible - no parent should be made to feel guilty because they are working to support the family - whether it be bio or step -

My adopted father worked 3 jobs - my parents adopted 18 children - he did not have time to come to my cross country meets or volleyball games - but he did make sure that he was home every night to have dinner with the family - go back to the second job and then he was there to tell me good night - want to know something - can't remember those sport games but I do remember that my father supported our family and loved us and took care of us daily - taught me a work ethic that has taken me very far in life - so no my father was not just window dressing - he was an actual father. So great if you can make the games but if not as long as you are taking care of your family that is what is important - the rest is window dressing!!!

Amen ~ CG!!

LIKE

**LIKE**

Thank you fabumom, finally

Thank you fabumom, finally someone that gets it!

We as parents do all that we

We as parents do all that we can do for our children. That doesnt mean we are perfect and are able to attend every event for our child. I think in this case the safety of your DH comes first!! It is not reasonable to think he can just get a few hours of sleep one night and still show up and drive a big truck!

When SS is with his BM my DH does not attend his soccer games. And when we have SS, BM does not attend the games. SS has never asked why one parent was there and not the other!

I'm sure if your SS lived in the same city your DH would love to be at his games but being that he doesnt he does what he can!! This does not make him a bad parent

Thanks EE I do think that his

Thanks EE I do think that his safety and the safety of everyone else on the road should come first. I know that dh would be there if he could but since it is an hour away only when the games are a home game if not it is a longer drive. I feel bad b/c I know dh would love to be at his games.

Yep your right she doesn;t

Yep your right she doesn;t work and refuses to so she has no idea what it is like to work and not have free time. Thanks happy

what a cry baby pissy bm. F

what a cry baby pissy bm. F her.... i am terrified of those semi's flying down the road especially knowing some don't get enough sleep... so NO dh doesn't have to be obligated to be there.. one parent should be enough.. and it's not like it's 20 minutes away.

dh & i do not go to any of sd's soccer games (he brought up going to one last week, i'm still hoping he will forget)... for a couple of reasons, 1) it is also 45 min-1hr away (one way) 2) the sport is primarily for mil to have soemthing to do, sd only does it b/c mil will buy her something.. bm doesn't go and she's about 10 minutes away, so i don't feel dh & i should be inconvenienced b/c mil has no life!

i seriously doubt ss is going to have lifetimes scars b/c dad couldn't make it to his precious little games... why? oh yeah, b/c dh had to work to pay the bills, the cs and for all those extra curricular activites...

Sheesh, I understand! Idk why

Sheesh, I understand! Idk why you were getting a hard time about this. Yes, dh should try to make any of his kids events as he can...as all parents do. Unfortunately since you guys live out of town it makes it harder. I think you posted awhile back about this. My suggestion was to be involved as you could and show support in other ways- asking about his games, seeing if someone could record for dh, joining the football booster club and helping that way, etc. How does ss feel about dad not being there? Chances are he understands and it is BM making a big deal, not ss. She just wants dh to feel bad and make him look bad. She's also just trying to get ss to see what a 'bad dad' he is. As a teen I understood when my parents couldn't make things due to work. So don't beat yourself over it. Make it special next week when dh goes. Wear the school colors and maybe get permission to take him for a quick bite to eat afterwards.

We live out oftown too. So dh never makes ss events. So your dh is lucky to make one game. Besides, football will be over soon and a new sport will start and maybe that schedule will have events that dh CAN make. Does dh work weekends? Also once ss is in high school the games won't be in the middle of the week, so that might work out later.

Thanks TX mommy, Ss does

Thanks TX mommy, Ss does understand and yes I did post about this a while back when bm threw a fit about the other ss recording it for dh (see dh is trying) Why she got upset I don't know. I think it is all to try to paint dh as a bad dad. Why else she she not let ss record the game for him?

Anyway thinks ladies I appropriate the support, I try to support my dh, he is such a great guy and great father. He doesn;t feel that way sometimes but I try.

Opposite case here. DH won't

Opposite case here. DH won't work (9-5 job) so he can be available for all events. He gets there super early and stays for the entire thing. And he so into it. Yelling at referrees, yelling at skids to perform. I gave up going because I was totally ignored & found the experiences to be boring & a waste of my time. Skids suck athletically. DH was good as a kid & so he thinks they have natural abilities.

"Skids suck

"Skids suck athletically"

same here and "scholastically" and "socially"

Thanks to all that posted

Thanks to all that posted with their opinions. I was mainly venting about how bm yelled at dh and when she does that dh gets in a mood. He doesn't even realize it but he is down and he is mad plus he gets into it with her. So when he is like that what little time we have together it sorta spoils it (he works days and I work nights). Dh has been mad at bm for about a week now with the petty crap she has called dh about.

As i said we will be going to ss14 game next thursday. I will be going and taking the night off b/c dh doesn;t like to go without me. the reason is b/c when he does go without me bm will make sure she sits next to him as close as possible just for the appearance. Even if dh sits crammed up next to other people she some how worms her way next to him.

Oh and caregiver thank you

Oh and caregiver thank you very much for your words they meant a lot to me.

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