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Sleepovers? Are they over?

Tater salad's picture

So my DW tells me sleepovers don't happen anymore. My SD is going to be 8 and never had one. I find this weird.
Is it a generational thing or regional or what?

ChiefGrownup's picture

Don't know what your wife is talking about. My sd now 16 has been on sleepovers. There's that big a generation gap between a 16 and 8 year old? I don't think so. In fact, a house she has often slept at contains two little sisters. One is about 9 now, the other 11. They were also participating in the sleepovers as long as I've been in the picture, since the younger one was 7.

Maybe your dw is just too emotional to allow this much independence in her child. Which is a real shame.

Tater salad's picture

As far as I seen there isn't any even happening without my SD. No kids playing in the neighborhood (and I'm in sight of one of our three grade schools). I'm childless before this relationship but find it odd how little kids play together.

Tater salad's picture

Maybe it's just this weird town. I grew up in a major city and never seen such over protection.

onthefence2's picture

My kids sleep over at VERY few houses. This is not over protection, this is smart. Most people believe that kids are getting molested by strangers in the parks, but they are getting molested by people within their own circles. It is worse now than ever before thanks to porn and kids watching it at a very young age when they have little self control. Now they don't have to just watch out for a parent in the home, but older brothers (and sisters!) as well.

Tater salad's picture

So sleepovers do happen less now in your opinion....
Yeah, it seems gone are the days when 12 preteen girls giggled all night at one of the girls houses.
That said, my DWs long time friend has a daughter who does entertainment things (acting dancing ect) and they suspect she has been molested but she won't say who and they don't know. So I cut my SD and that girl off from unsupervised play. It's a shame because they grew up more like cousins but the other girl is not right at the moment.

onthefence2's picture

A girl barely older than my daughter did stuff right under our noses when they were about 5 and 6. It is very clear that the girl was being molested by someone. Mom blamed it on her mom's live in boyfriend, but I have suspected that it's her husband. When she told her husband what had happened, he beat the girl for it. That's just not right.

Tater salad's picture

So sleepovers do happen less now in your opinion....
Yeah, it seems gone are the days when 12 preteen girls giggled all night at one of the girls houses.
That said, my DWs long time friend has a daughter who does entertainment things (acting dancing ect) and they suspect she has been molested but she won't say who and they don't know. So I cut my SD and that girl off from unsupervised play. It's a shame because they grew up more like cousins but the other girl is not right at the moment.

Last In Line's picture

My kids grew up in a large city, there were plenty of sleepovers, from the time they were 3 (at the time I worked in child care so I knew the kids and their parents).

I now live in small town USA, and the skids do have sleepovers, but they are few and far between, and only with a couple of select kids. People here are FAR more over protective.

Con7lisa's picture

I am not really sure if it's a generation thing. My daughters stop having sleepovers at 13 but My SD is 16 and still has sleepovers. Mostly girls coming over my house but I recently put a stop on the weekdays sleepovers. I work during the week and I am a light sleeper. These girls get loud listening and dancing to music. Now it happens only Fridays and Saturdays.Can't wait until she's out of the house. So tired of being a step parent. 

ndc's picture

My SDs (5 and 7) have sleepovers.  They're not all that frequent (maybe once a month at most), they're usually one on one (no sleepovers with 12 girls unless it's a birthday party or something like that), and they're only with a few close friends or cousins. Oh, and they're not taking place during Covid.

This really isn't much different from what I did as a kid, and I don't think it's particularly overprotective.

Rags's picture

They are certainly far more rare than they were back in the day.  

IMHO it is because so many kids are not raised to be confident or independent.  So, they can;t be away from mommy and daddy with any level of confidence or comfort.

Of the many sleepovers of my youth, both with friends at my home or me at the home of a friend I can recall one time when one kid freaked out about being away from his parents.  That kid was ostracized to no end after that and several years later still received loads of crap for his cry baby sleepover event.

Now, it is likely that any parent who would allow their kid to stay overnight with an unrelated person could have CPS called on them for some bullshit or another.

Sadly.

AshMar654's picture

My DS11 sleeps over at anyones house. I know the parents and have met them a few times. I am cautious. We have his one friend sleep over sometimes as well. Boys I think are a little different with this than girls. My DS does not really ever ask but if I suggest it, he is all about it. I agree with rags I think it is less as kids are becoming less independent than they use to be.

I think there is a lot of worry in the back of the mind about bad things happening more and more these days. That is when it is up to the parent to teach theirs kids what is right and what is wrong. It is different world from what I grew up in and it is hard to really know what is right or wrong.

I will say sleepovers do not just stop at age 8 they continue on forever. Hell in college I still stayed at my friends houses sometimes.