Just venting... (video games, general parenting)
I just wanted to vent because I think this forum understands better than anyone I have in my life. My wife tries, but let's be honest... until you been a step parent, you have no idea how shitty it can be.
Today's battle is one I don't normally fight. We had three weeks of no kid. SD is 8 and her father is an die hard gamer, alcoholic, works for a few paycheck and quits kinda guy. He has been more stable lately because he has a new woman to shack with and that is when he behaves, proposes, and tries to seal the deal before they discover who he really is. I digress.
So SD spent 3 weeks with them and the new gf's kids. Before we had a "hour a day" rule on video games. Now she got in the car from the pick up and immediately asked for a tablet or phone. Answer was no. Went to eat dinner out together, wife SD and I, and she wanted to play on their table tablets. The answer was still no. "We haven't seen each other in 3 weeks, lets talk"
Today is my mother's birthday and wife and I are making a fancy cake for her. SD says "Can I play sims (on a PS3 in the living room) while you bake?" and wife throws me under the bus. I'm 5 feet away and she says, "You'll have to talk to ____. She is the one with the problem with it."
Now I'm a bit mad, but SD is around so I have to bite my tongue just a bit. I said, "What is it? Why are you talking about me like I'm not right here?" and so my wife says, "She wants to play Sims while we decorate the cake." I reply, "Why are you asking me? She is your kid. If you want her to grow up to be mush brained idiot who won't hold a job or finish or even go to college because video games are so much more important, then that is your business. I'd want better for my child."
So now SD is pouting because clearly she didn't get a yes out of me. Once the pouting starts, it doesn't stop... only gets worse... even if she does play video games. That is the other part of the equation... she gets violent playing them. Even Sims and Minecraft... she gets outright horrid when it's time to put the controller down.
Now, I play video games. I grew up getting a NES when I was about her age. But I didn't live for it. Hell, we'd go days or weeks not playing it because there were things to do outside. Video games, to me, should be a once in a while thing. Not a daily staple. And given her father's addiction, I'd be even more cautious.
So my wife tells me as they are out the door to go to horseback riding lessons, that I'm just wanting to control the house. I stated again that I didn't care how SD turned out. I just would like to have the living room from time to time (that is where the PS3 is) and that her hour a day has turned into endless hours and if you want to watch a movie or something you have to get her off the thing... and then she has a meltdown.
So I'm thinking of taking my PS2 and putting it in SDs room. I don't play it anymore. I would love to be able to stream movies or music in my living room. That was the biggest reason I got a PS3 years ago. For streaming.
I don't agree with letting a child play video games endlessly, but she really isn't my problem. If something happened to my wife, I'd never see her again. That is the rub on this step parent bull crap. You get judged in public for their behavior, but you get no vote on anything. So if my wife (and obviously her bio dad) doesn't mind her playing video games instead of living a real life, then what do I care? Oh yeah. Because SD will be 30 and still mooching off my wallet, that is why. F*#@!!!