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Setting the stage for summer with the skids...

BellaMia's picture

I don't work right now because I quit my job to move with DH (the D does NOT stand for darling right now). I'm a sahSm and also finishing up my business degree and about to start an MBA program. So I do lot of cleaning, planning, grocery shopping and cooking. C'est la vie... I ALSO do tons of stuff for/with the children because DH works a lot and travels for work quite a bit.

Then the other day he was talking about the summer. We have SS11 throughout the school year and since we moved we will have SS7 during the summer. The plan is SS11 will be in another state with his mother for the bulk of the summer. So DH says something about me taking care of SS7 this summer. Um... HE needs to be in a camp. I am NOT entertaining him day in and day out. DH was clearly surprised and must have thought I was majoring in nanny. WTF?

Do any of you have to deal with summers on? Do you let the kids just lay around all day or do they go to camp? I just can't even imagine being home with this brat 24-7 for 2-3 months!

Bottomline: I need a job. STAT! So this type of crap doesn't even come into DH's mind!

BellaMia's picture

That sounds doable. The only problem is that we don't have anyone who can take the kids, so I have them all day EVERY day... I just need a break. I'm so burned out.

Gwen's picture

We have them every other week during the summer. I am a SAHSM too, except I teach a few graduate-level classes during the school year. Last summer I was taking an online training course but otherwise not working. We put them into a few camps, mostly half day, because we think it's good for them to experiment with new things and grow, and to stay physically active and busy with kids their own age. Theater camp, horseback riding, soccer camp, art classes. I think camps are great for kids. Most communities have half day or full day programs. But sign-ups start in March and April! SS starts advanced soccer league pretty early in the summer too (july). Some weeks/days I reserve to have them home; they are great kids and I enjoy spending time with them. I like to take them biking, hiking, swimming, to museums, movies, do arts & crafts, board games, the library -- stuff like that. I also make them read books for a certain amount of time every day. Sometimes I arrange for their friends to come over. The summer usually goes by pretty quickly. I am NOT a fan of letting the kids sit around and watch tv or play video games all day. DH has gotten into with BM over this, she calls it 'unstructured play time.' SD does creative stuff when left to her own devices but SS will sit on his rear end and veg allllllll day in front of the tv. Nope, not doing that all summer.

Gwen's picture

If I have something to do & we are all at home, I do just like you, I give them options and tell them I need my space to conduct some business. I usually give them a specific time frame. They are pretty respectful. Every once in awhile they holler for me from the other side of the house, and I have to remind them that I'm working and either they have to wait or to solve the problem themselves. Every great once in awhile, SD really wants my attention and does a little of what your SD does. I teeter between feeling annoyed, and feeling bad at having to shoo her away because there will come a day when she doesn't want my company nearly as much.

BellaMia's picture

Gosh, thank you Stefanie! It's so good to be able to vent here and have people who get it.

iwishyouwould's picture

We have sole custody but no, kiddo does not stay at home all summer. I always put him in camp. Last year i found a great one, he carpooled with my little sister who ended up going to the same camp and he had a great time. Im in school too and i take classes during the summer and dh works. Its simply not plausible or feasible to have kiddo at home all summer. And anyway, he would get very lonely and bored very quickly, he is majorly social and is used to seeing his friends every day at school. After awhile, stepmom and daddy really just dont cut it as far as playmates go. lol.

BellaMia's picture

Yeah, I didn't think so. I mean, the bio parents never have to deal with MONTHS of having the kids all day long, so why the hell should I, just because it's summer? It's not even fair or plausible in theory...

iwishyouwould's picture

Basically how it works is this: If both parents in the household work or are in school, then the options for summer are daycare, babysitter, relative's house or camp. Camp is a lot more fun for the kiddo than any of the other options. During the school year i stay at home with him after school and schedule my classes for when he is at school, but during the summer, the classes run for two hours a day instead of 1 and are every single day and are really intense and i just cant get a decent grade if i dont have a lot of intense, uninterrupted study time. Dont feel bad, or let anyone else make you feel bad, about putting kiddo in a camp - if you find a good one, he will enjoy it. my kiddo is enrolled this summer for a karate camp, a swim camp, a music camp with the local symphony and a science camp. He's 6 and im sure there are some really cool ones for your kiddo's age group.

BellaMia's picture

I'll check into that. Thanks for reminding me about it. What I REALLY wish is that H would look into camps for HIS kid. Hell, I wish he and BM would figure out what dates the skid will be here. I hate that he makes me nag... If I don't, shit doesn't get done and then it ends up falling in my lap. Without fail...