Sd12 exposes her ass jaws and crotch to everyone with no shame
Sd12 lays on my couch with her legs up on the back of couch with her shorts going up her ass with crotch shot and all. Makes me sick because h came in living room and said nothing then I came in and said to her that all her goods are showing. She said she has had nothing anyone else doesn't have. She had no clue what goes through men's head. Maybe not my h but my son is 22. I already said something to her older sister about short shorts wearing around me to mall because makes me look bad an herself. I never called her a slut but I did say young girls don't realize they look like sluts. I thought the word slut was ok because that's all I hear out of their mouths. Yeah, a big stink their BM tried to make out of it. Now BM encourages her young daughters to wear shorts that shows the jaws of her daughters asses. This little young bitch is driving me crazy with pre teenage mouth. Just venting
I would flat out tell her
I would flat out tell her that in your house she will keep herself covered or start wearing pants.
Yeah, dress code for the
Yeah, dress code for the household.
When my sd was 12/13/14 she wanted to take her pants off all the time and run around in panties like a 3 year old. Neither her dad nor I would allow it but still it took quite some battles. Oy, what a memory.
Anyway at 16 she seems to have figured out keeping her nethers dressed is a good way to go. Probably had our last battle on this somewhere around age 15 or so.
Your dh should go through her clothes and toss out the tiny shorts. Dads have been doing this for decades as well as mothers, it's nothing new or controversial. If your dh is oblivious to all this -- sigh -- remind him that his own safety could be jeopardized if this girl makes unfiltered remarks in front of a mandated reporter. What if she tells a school teacher her dad sees her hoo ha all the time?
What if the kid said, "Daddy
What if the kid said, "Daddy looks at my hoo-ha all the time!"
Tommar, I can't take you seriously when you change the circumstances in order to give your response.
Yeah, well, me neither. But
Yeah, well, me neither.
But you would question. As anyone should, IMO.
I didn't say the kid would
I didn't say the kid would use the words "I wear teeny tiny shorts."
Kid is more likely to say, "Oh, yeah, my daddy sees my hooha/babymaker/privates all the time" or something like that. Or, "why would you care if your dad saw your lady bits? I don't care when my dad sees mine." Etc.
It's all in the presentation which is 100% likely to be in kidspeak. Which will not sound good when teach deciphers it to its bottom line. Pun not intended but inevitable.
It always amazes me how much
It always amazes me how much power these kids have over the adults in their lives. I mean who pay the bills? But they think they can do what they want when they want!! Sigh.... Unfortunately DH has a lot to answer for here!
First of all I didn't call
First of all I didn't call her a slut. I said girls that wears shorts like that looked like sluts. Second, their BM has taught her that word. She also got her oldest daughter13 a belly button ring and on the pill. A person is known by the way they carry them selfs. We went to a cookout today with friends and our friends had 11 year olds. My sd 11 soon to be 12 was ashamed and refused to hang out with them. She wanted to be up the adults ass. She was like h shadow. Then she invited herself on her birthday to their house and insisted that our friend make her a birthday cake because she said she hasn't had a birthday party since she was 5. Bs! I have spent 10,000.00 on her and her sister in the past 4 years on doing things and trips. Furthermore, you are not BM because that bitch isnt allowed in My yard, h meets her at the store and guess what..her name is forbidden in my household. That's right, I do not allow her to over shadow me as a mother over BM.
I'm glad I'm not the only
I'm glad I'm not the only person who was like "Wow, body and slut shaming much?" Girls have enough hell as it is with media, peer pressure, and advertising pressure to look a certain way. Parents/stepparents are supposed to be a positive influence in their lives.
OP, you don't want her to wear the clothes at your house, that's fine. Your house, your rules. But don't shame her about it. Simply state "you won't wear those here". Shaming a child only causes irreparable damage.
Also, who gives a flying frikk if BM taught her the word slut? That's BM's prerogative. My mom taught me a whole slew of words that I could list out here that would probably have people clutching their pearls. I didn't end up pregnant and on welfare as soon as I was out of high school. Heck, I'm 33 and I still don't have bio kids of my own. And if BM wants to put the older daughter on BC? Let me explain...BC isn't just for not getting pregnant. It can do wonders for girls and women who have excruciating periods or issues with ovarian cysts (and yes, those can happen at 13).
So please, enough with the damn slut shaming. Women didn't fight for the little bit of equality that we do have for this kind of crap to continue.
Didn't tommar have a blog
Didn't tommar have a blog about this? How she's paranoid and wouldn't do anything that might cause anyone else to behave dangerously?
Personally, I think I have the right to walk around stark naked with an arrow pointing to my goods and for no one to assault me. Just like even when I'm really angry or really horny, I still don't attack other people. But then, I'm an adult and responsible for my actions. And I think if rapists genuinely felt justified, they'd come forward and brag about their actions, and accept the jail time. Instead of hiding and pretending they didn't do it.
Oh, I made the connection
Oh, I made the connection that you wouldn't do something that might make someone go postal... as in, your actions CAUSE someone else's behaviour. That's not what you meant?
I walk around butt naked in
I walk around butt naked in my house with the curtains open. I walk around in nothing but panties and a tank top out in my backyard. People have no need to look inside my windows! If they do, I have a fist for their face and a phone to call the cops with. If they have issue with me being scantily dressed in my backyard, well, it's my property so eff off. It's NOT my problem if someone can't keep their hands off me.
Do I know how to keep myself safe? Damn right I do. But let me tell you something, all the clothes in the world aren't going to do that.
Themselves. Carry on
Themselves.
Carry on
This is my 22 year olds
This is my 22 year olds house. He is my son and always live here with me. He is autistic. Fuck you!
No. No, no, no, no, no, no,
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
what would happen if his urges gets the better of him? because she flaunted it...... I would do the same,
This is rape culture at it's finest! Just because a young girl/woman wears something that shows off skin, doesn't mean she is flaunting it, doesn't mean she is asking for it.
If a man cannot control himself, that IS NOT the woman's problem. Never was, never will be.
That still does not make it
That still does not make it the 11 year old's fault, no matter what she wears.
Like I said earlier, if OP doesn't want her SD wearing the shorts in her house, say so. But don't body and slut shame the girl to get her to stop wearing them. Just tell her the rules and the consequences, and follow through.
Hormones in our food and
Hormones in our food and water supplies.
Watching slutty tv doesn't
Watching slutty tv doesn't make little girls and boys sprout boobies and puberty. That's hormones. Slutty tv teaches them to twerk.
Sally ffs you live in Africa
Sally ffs you live in Africa where our men rape to cure AIDS and erectile dysfunction. Come on. I cannot weigh in to this. And OP I don't care what your son has, that's a little girl you're talking about.
I agree and disagree with
I agree and disagree with you.
We can teach girls to respect themselves and their bodies enough that they don't need to walk around with their lady bits hanging out WITHOUT slut shaming and body shaming.
YES. YES!
I think what is lost on many of those who think girls should dress however the fuck they want (which, OK sure, yes... no amount of skin gives anyone the right to assault another) is that girls don't walk around with their lady bits hanging out for any other reason than to attract sexual attention.
Eh...not always true. I like to wear short shorts around the house in the summer because it's cooler. I also have very long legs, so what are average shorts on many people are even shorter on me. I don't wear them out of the house though, and I wear them for comfort, not to attract. I also am rather large chested. Buying tops that completely conceal my chest, especially tank tops, is practically impossible. Cleavage is going to show, no matter what. Again, not doing it for attention, it's just how my body is built. I do know how to dress appropriately for situations though, and know what camisoles and the like are. But just because I'm scantily clad doesn't mean I'm looking for sex. It means I'm wanting to be comfortable, and this is the way I am comfy.
Sometimes. If the skid isn't
Sometimes. If the skid isn't home. My body, my comfort. If the skid is home, I switch to boxer briefs instead of just panties, for a little more coverage. SS13 roams the house in boxers and a tshirt. We're not nudists by any means, but in our house, we don't shame, nor do we over-sexualize that which doesn't need to be.
I loved, and still love, my
I loved, and still love, my volleyball shorts! Talk about comfortable. I lived for game days when we were allowed to wear them to school, though most of the time we covered up with sweat pants (just like the cheerleaders did) because the school was cold. Comfort, it was about comfort!
Maybe I was just taught how to deal with sexuality and sex in a very open and healthy manner...
You had some seriously short
You had some seriously short volleyball shorts if your butt cheeks were hanging out! Ours were covered, and went about an inch and a half down past our cheeks. Yeah, they were extremely short, but still covered everything. And they were form fitting, so they didn't move either.
To each her own on how they are comfortable to dress, my biggest point was about not body/slut shaming the girl to get her to follow a rule the SM wanted to implement.
Thank you Sally! For the
Thank you Sally! For the other posters, first of all I never called her a slut! I said girls that wears shorts that short 'look like sluts'. Abouty son, he never saw her. He probably would have looked away. I stopped her in her tracts and made her feel very uncomfortable about her ass hanging out so hopefully she will be more aware of how she sits that there are people out there that has those dirty thoughts and take advantage of her when we are not around. BM lets her and her sister roam but we can't control what BM does at her house but can set examples here. She is not going to disrespect my home. Yes she is 11 and there is a huge difference but let me explain a little more. She doesn't play with other 11 year old girls because she thinks she is to mature she acts like a grown up and people notices it. She is taller than me. At 11 she is 5ft4. She wears them padded bras, I personally think she stuffs them but whatever! She could pass for a 16 year old. She just went into middle school. Last year I saw pictures of her at her school with other kids and she was taller than the teacher. I encourage her to do little girl things and she gives me that look like I've lost my mind. Her sister is 14 now and is the same way at 5.9 with the smartest mouth but that's another story. And the BM encourages them to talk to boys. BM let the 14 year old go to bomb fires and hang out with high school kids last year at 13. So if harsh words come out of my mouth it's for her own damn good. Also to add, my sd came to us and told us her sisters boyfriend smokes pot. We let them both come with us spring break and they both wanted to roam at the camp site. At first we said no but noticed the courtyard was slap full of kids of all ages hanging out so we let them go and have fun. When my sd11 at the time came back to the camper alone and upset because her sister was ignoring her hanging out with older men! Yes I said men. We got in truck to ride to courtyard to get her and she was hanging with a bunch of guys. She walked to the boys truck to get her cell phone charger then came to our truck. We were like wtf! We took them home and h told BM what had happened and he wouldn't allow her to hang out the rest of trip with men and BM said she been havin problems out of that oldest one getting into vehicles with older boys at her house too and understood. Now that oldest one hasn't been back over to our house. Sd12 has to come. Other issues, sd12 has missed 4days of school already and school year already started. So h is having other issues too. Truthfully, I dare BM to come over here an say something to me.
For the other posters, first
For the other posters, first of all I never called her a slut! I said girls that wears shorts that short 'look like sluts'
Which is the exact same thing as calling her a slut, because she is wearing those shorts...so you are telling her she looks like a slut. And her mind is going to process that as you calling her a slut. I understand you don't want her to wear them at your house, I totally get that. Your house, your rules. I still stand firm in saying there is no need to shame her in any fashion whilst you are enforcing the rules of your house.
And what happens at BM's has nothing to do with you or what happens at your house. At 11, I was around 5'4, same height as my mother. By 13 I was 5'8, wearing bigger shoes than my mother, and had almost size D breasts. I was also your typical teenage girl and thought I knew everything and was much more mature that I really was. It's all part of being a teenage girl. Ignore the crap that BM allows them to do, enforce the rules at your house, but don't shame them for anything. Believe me, it will damage them.
Well I though by giving the
Well I though by giving the example would help her understand. Yes their feet are huge! They are skinny and I'm fat but can wear same size clothes, not in length..lol I'm 5'1. Trust me, I was trying to help.
You know, I think I get now
You know, I think I get now why they were recording me on their iPad and picking with BM about my weight gain as I got pregnant and gained weight from the pregnancies losses and depression. They were shaming me as they thought I had shamed them. They never understood I wasn't trying to shame them but prevent them from experiencing situations I had experienced as a young girl. I will continue to enforce and demand respect but choose my words a little wisely. It's all about wording things. I still stand firm on other issues.
One comment doth not
One comment doth not slut-shaming make.
I told my SO that I would not go out to breakfast with SDthen14 if she was going to wear what she was wearing to breakfast (booty shorts, tank top with colored bra sticking out, boobs all over the place). She dresses much better now at 17, when she was 14, oy vey, the skimpy clothes were worn every day!
He asked why. I said (in front of SDthen14), "I don't want to go out in public with her dressed like a slut and have people think that I am her mother."
She put on different shorts and a hoodie. We all went out to breakfast. No one was slut-shamed, it was a lesson in what is NOT appropriate to wear.
Getting all bent out of shape because of ONE WORD. Sheesh.
Now before the tar and feathers come out....this was a one-time occurance. If I told SD every day that she looked/acted/dressed like a slut, or even said it frequently, no, that is not appropriate.
Even SO freaked out on SD one day and told her to change her shorts, no one wants to see her vagina lips. I suppose you would all think that's slut-shaming, too?????
How about, dressing appropriately!!! Skimpy, inappropriate dressing makes you look slutty! That's just a given fact! It has absolutely nothing to do with being raped or assaulted, just put on some freaking clothes that cover you up! Let's not lose our minds on political correctness!
Aw shucks, thanks Echo! Want
Aw shucks, thanks Echo! Want to be my Vice-Prez? I think I will make BACON my top priority.
Whatever happened to sitting
Whatever happened to sitting like a lady?
My SD13 sits with her legs spread all the time. I've told her before, "you need to close your legs" and she has said "why, it's only me you, my brother and dad in the car". I straight up told her "You're exactly right and NONE of us want to look at your vagina."
Sally I am so using that line
Sally I am so using that line on her the next time I am graced with her vagina.
It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have on those short ass shorts. A pair of jeans, sure sit with your legs spread, a pair on longer shorts, sure, go ahead but why of why wear the world's shortest shorts and then sit like that? Why not wear a skirt with no undies and just let it go if you wanna be so free?
I remember my mother called
I remember my mother called me a f ing whore when I was 8, because my BM was so pissed that day she'd say anything. BM's can call you what ever they want and get away with it because the child doesn't think it's offensive they just think their mother is pissed. I also remember that joke, " close your legs your breath stinks" LOL. I can not joke with these kids or say what I want vulgar to them in anyway or it will get thrown out of context. Then you have another adult figure that the kids are attached too that is telling them " oh honey that's wrong I'll be your hero and put that bitch in her place" then there is the double standards thing. They can not watch r rated movies, it has to be PG13 but then they come over and say they have watched Friday after next and Friday with their mother and Jay and silent bob which is the most nastiest movies I've ever seen. I'm glad the two
in previous comments told me their point of view because I kinda get a sense of another side and realize WHY the girls acted the way they have in the past and why my sd12 has toxic poison about me filled in her head. No matter what I ever say , things will get thrown out of proportion because I'm not their family in their minds. I saw some paper in my own house Layed on the floor wrote by sd11 and it said, mother: BM name, father:h name, sister: her sis, and it had brother and named some boy that hangs over BM's all the time. It said nothing about me or my son. My son and I are nothing to her. I get treated like a paid nanny. Truthfully, I think I said the right thing. Did it backfire, yes because everything I do and say will backfire. If I correct sd I'm wrong and BM is right even if I google it and prove the facts..I'm dumb and a nobody in their eyes.
That's right! Words do stick
That's right! Words do stick and maybe it will stick with them not to be so casual around people so they can see their goods. I want little ladies acting like little ladies, not little ho's. When their BM got the 13 year old a belly button ring and encouraged her to go out with high school boys and date saying it's ok you're on birth control... It made me think of that song by Reba mc entire " here's you one chance fancy don't let me down" maybe I should have nick named her fancy but I didn't .