SD acting very strange
Forums:
Okay I knew 13y olds are crazy but... I have noticed my SD13 being different. Very quiet, standoffish, and not very outgoing -in her room a lot. She is usually the life of the party. I know (heard) that she is being kind of "loose" these days. i know she had gotten into a fight with her BF about boys earlier this week. I have tried to approach daddy about this; and I don't want to overstep my bounds (we are having issues with this already!) but I don't want her to feel like no one is noticing?? she is with us FT. Any advice on how to get it out of her; without making it so obvious??
Thanks
Talking to her? "listen, sd,
Talking to her? "listen, sd, I've noticed you've been a little (distant, sad, bothered, whatever) lately and it seems like something is bothering you. If you ever want to talk, then I'm here. Even if you think I won't understand, or I might think it is trivial or even if it is embarrassing, you can always talk to me or your dad. I k ow being a teenage girl is tough...I was one many moons ago too
So I just want you to know I'm here."
You can't force a kid to talk or open up. Chances are if she's being 'loose' she is in deep regrets right now. Boys probably are using her and girls are probably making fun of her. Her life at school may not be fun right now and how can she tell anyone that? Just love her and help her to feel wanted and accepted. Her self esteem is probably shot. This is all going off of the whole 'loose' thing so I could be way off...
Luv them all: you're right. I
Luv them all: you're right. I have a really hard time with my piggish SD16. I only have bio sons; no girls. So I'm not used to the mood swing stuff and the pissy attitudes.
My suggestion: if you SINCERELY AND GENUINELY care about your SD, approach her about what you've noticed. Just say you've noticed a difference in behavior (maybe give examples) and tell her you're checking to make sure everything is okay. Ask her open ended questions and see what comes of it. If she says she's fine, let her know that you're available to talk and/or she can talk to her dad. Don't push too much; just a gentle nudge.
I always tell my SD she can talk to me, but I stress her Dad is always available b/c I know she may not feel comfortable with me yet. We've only lived together for four months. And I don't ever want her to feel like I'm trying to play "mommy" with her.
Also, I stress SINCERELY AND GENUINELY b/c kids are very instinctive and they'll call us out as hypocrites. I'm not accusing you; I'm just saying there's a difference between curious about what's going on and concerned about what's going on.
Thanks Momster - I know kids
Thanks Momster - I know kids get Moody - I have three others. I have been with her for 11 Years. Up until she has mooved in with us she has become distant from me. I think she thinks it will hurt her mom if she gets close to me; in a way. I have tried to talk to her; ask her questions but something is diff; I can tell just like I would my own daughter. She has gone through "period" days but this seems diff; thats all.
thanks for the advice - to me it was deeper then just being moody; ya know...
I can tell my bd wants to tell me something but she won't betray her sissy trust.
Hopefully I can convince her to confide in me soon.
Have a great weekend.
What I did to my daughters
What I did to my daughters was steer a conversation around to something goofy or hurtful that happened to me at school. I even embellished a few situations so I could get to the bottom of the matter.
It could be an age thing or it could be something worse. If she is getting bullied or picked on in school the last thing she needs is someone at home forcing the info out of her. Tread carefully and I hope it isn't anything too horrible.
It is a difficult time for
It is a difficult time for kids as we all know so this may pass.
If the other suggestions don't work then in a month from now I'd recommend a complete physical exam which would include blood work which will include a drug scan. While she's there she can get a start on birth control pills. Does she need the shot for cervical cancer?
The hardest part will be to convince Dad that its a good idea.