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Baby_Girl1983's picture

my husband has a 2 daughters from a previous marriage and although one is an absolute angel the 12yo is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE..ive been with my dh for a total of 10 years now and she is AWFUL and recently came home after being placed in a local group home for a year..shes been home ever since the end of july and is starting her shit question was is it possible to give up parental rights to one child and give her to her bio mom and keep the guessing it isnt but thought i would ask..if we cant go that route we are absolutely looking into placement again..i stay at home with all three kids and she makes my life a living hell and i do not want my younger sd and our bio son getting behavior from her..ugh i HATE her sooooooo much!!!!!

StickAFork's picture

No, your husband cannot just give up his parental rights because he hasn't managed to parent her properly.
Is it possible that Sd is aware of your hate and that is why she acts up?
Why was she placed in a group home for A YEAR?

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Sometimes kids who ARE parented properly have mental health issues. It sounds like there are some pretty serious problems for her to be placed in a group home. They don't just take kids because the parents ask them to. There has to be a very good reason.

Is she getting after care counseling? Does she have a specific diagnosis? Perhaps it is time to consult another Dr. and see what can be done to help everyone. Family counselling would probably help too. Take a deep breath and know you are not alone. Many teens have behaviour issues that can push even the Bio parent over the edge.

Baby_Girl1983's picture

yes my SD has been diagnosed ADHD mood disorder, oppositional defiant disorder..i know disorders are treated with meds and yeah shes on some but with or without dont seem to matter..shes only loving and caring when she wants something then after hateful and just a big pain in the ass. cant even tell her its bedtime without her scewing around in her room and just doing anything but listening..and the reason why she got placed was very serious on numerous occasions plus we had several of her doctors sign off on it specifically becuase they knew she needed the help but anymore im at a loss and i truly believe now you cant help those that wont try and she has proven time and time again its always going to end ugly for me and her and idk if its because im not her real mom or what and honestly i dont really care..her mom left years ago and yes i know that longing for her mom is sitll there and always will be and im just in the way..well ya know what thats fine with me because from now on ive found that im keeping it strictly business with my problematic SD and as long as things are going smoothly she will not be asked to do anything or be expeceted to even succeed..why you might as and the answer is because shell always do what i dont want her to least im hoping she would but again she does or dosent isnt my deal to worry about anymore..yeah shes 12 but she knows everything and uses me whenever i let her for hair stuff nail stuff etc so im done playing the mommy role with more or less babysitter material towards her anymore i give her the necessaties food water meds clothes but never going to be anything special between the two of us becuase for whatever reason it just has to be like that to make things easier for both of trying that when she flips out on me for stupid crap i walk away or just sit there looking at her till she just walks off or i start an activity with my younger all may not make sense but i have my younger two im concerned with they show promise and compassion and i want to help them shape that and help them with school because with the two of them unlike my older SD i can see them succeeding and becoming upstanding members of society one SD is a lost cause to me anymore and shen im around her its nothing then a little conversation if any at all then shes off doing her own thing..anything to make life less miserable and focus on my other two

Smomof3's picture

I can relate somewhat. My SD15 is doom and gloom. She makes good grades, but she lies, manipulates, has used drugs, cuts/self mutilates, and has an eating disorder. We have tried till we're blue in the face. She's in counseling, but lives with her BM. We can't have her behavior influencing her she visits every other weekend.