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Paying for BM's laziness

rahrah2019's picture

Hey ladies and gentlemen, hope everyone is doing well on this Friday night.

So SS needed new glasses (18 hours of video games and computers a day will do that for you). BM texts DH and says she needs to take him to the eye doctor, and asks about insurance. DH asks her where she planned on taking him. She gives him the name of the eye doctor, he tells her to hold on while he checked to make sure they took our vision insurance. 

We pay for VSP, which is a supplemental vision insurance, in addition to our health insurance. And even though I think that we should reap the benefit of the insurance (instead of splitting the difference after VSP has paid), it doesn't matter...because in all of BM's great wisdom, she took SS to an eye doctor that doesn't even take VSP even after my DH told her they don't take it. There are 26 eye doctors within 25 miles of BM that take VSP. And the majority of them are probably closer than the one she took him to see. 

So now SS has a pair of $400 glasses...and she expects us to pay half. Please do tell me exactly what you would say to BM. 

SteppedOut's picture

$400 AFTER insurance? What are they made of...GOD?

But seriously, I get kids NEED vision correcting devices (contacts or glasses), but at what point does it become a "luxury" expense when the most expensive brand is selected? Once it gets to a certain amount the other parent should have some decision making in it as well... unfortunately I doubt most court orders are that specific.

As far as the VSP, I'm sure she is required to use the insurance...not so sure about the extra savings plan. Stupid on her; it could have saved her money also.

Maybe next time see if dh can take him? (If bm "allows")

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

"dear BM,

 

we will be happy to reimburse you half of what insirance would would not have covered for an in network provider. You can also try sending the receipt into VSP to see if they will reimburse at out of network rates. Please note that providers participating in our insurance can be checked at *vsp provider website*"

ndc's picture

I would find out how much the glasses would have been had she gone to a VSP provider, and I would offer to pay half of that and tell her that had she gone to a VSP provider as you asked her to, that's all you would have had to pay, and that's all you ARE going to pay.

thinkthrice's picture

frames?  i have vision coverage and ive never been able to walk away with less than $300 out of pocket.

rahrah2019's picture

Well he gets the tint (although I’m not sure why...he rarely sees the light of day) and maybe polycarbonate lenses? I don’t know...I know he gets what he asks for. 

Im just pissed that she was stupid enough to not use the VSP and that she expects us to just pay for it. I’m even more pissed that my DH won’t draw the line. I’m all for finding out what they would’ve been elsewhere and take it from there. 

ndc's picture

Your DH does realize, doesn't he, that if he doesn't draw the line BM will keep doing this? Is she financially well off so she can afford to pay half of full price without insurance?

rahrah2019's picture

No. She is unemployed, living off her daddy’s disability check and off her estranged husband (who is probably hanging on until SS graduates to see if their marriage can be saved), and the money we provide for SS. It’s a joke. 

lorlors's picture

BM bought SD a pair of Tiffany frames (at 14 years old) which cost $700 and sent us the bill. I was so hopping mad about the gall of the woman. DH emailed her back the link to Specsavers where you could get 2 pairs of frames for $199 with their catchphrase: 'shoulda gone to Specsavers love'.

What a b!tch!!

We don't pay for BM's ridiculous excess and neither should you.

rahrah2019's picture

he doesn’t even ask for the bill. Just accepts what she says and tells me what to send her. And we have even caught her lying more than one time. I started double-checking, calling places myself, after she tried to say locker fee was $100 at school one year (it was $10).