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Caught BM lying...why does it not surprise me?!

Stepmom2Ched's picture

So BM was telling DH on Sunday when we dropped of SS that SS had to go to the optometrist. I mentioned, "I don't think it's been a full 2 years."

Hubby's insurance covers an eye exam but only every 2 years. When we took SS, he was given a prescription, and we got him 2 pair of glasses.

Well, we gave one pair to her, and we kept the other pair. She managed to LOSE the first pair about a month after we gave them to her. She blames it on US, even though SHE had control over them. How she figures THAT one is beyond me.

So she asked for either the other pair of glasses which we had at our house, or a copy of the prescription. Hubby was pissed she lost the pair he gave her and said, "You can have the prescription copy." She wasn't happy and moaned & groaned about not getting that other pair. He told her, "YOU lost them, YOU replace them."

Well, fast forward to September of THIS year and SS is at his computer wearing his glasses...and he's lifting them up & pushing them down, trying to read the screen. I pointed this out to DH and he said, "well, I guess he doesn't need his glasses anymore."

BM mentioned about the glasses again, and DH brought them to her when he dropped off his son. The next time he picked up his son from her place (2 weeks later) she mentioned something about the glasses getting bent. Well, DH didn't look at the pair of glasses. When he got home, he told me about it, and I took the glasses out of SS's backpack. The left temple (side piece) is mangled like it was twisted around a pipe or pencil or something! It's all FUBAR! I was NOT happy. I put them back in the glasses case and put them back into the backpack after showing DH the damage that had been done.

So Sunday she states she's taking their son to get glasses @ Target coz she had a coupon for free lenses & she was going to take SS to get his eyes examined. That's when I mentioned about the 2 year t/f for our insurance to pay for the eye exam. She said, "Oh, I checked, and it HAS been 2 years." I said, "Well, okay, but if it's not, The insurance will NOT pay for it."

So last night I decided to check SS's health insurance explanations of Benefits (EOB's)...and I found the one for the eye exam done on him @ Nationwide vision. And guess what...she lied...it has NOT been 2 years. It'll be 2 years on February 23, 2010! I printed out the EOB...details and all and highlighted all the important info for DH to see.

He called her tonight to tell her what the date was. She's upset that the lens prescription was only written for one year. He told her, "That's the law, the doctor had no choice." She apparently has an appointment for him to get an eye exam tomorrow and I told DH if she does, it's ALL on her. She will have to pay the entire bill because it will NOT be covered and their decree states that if one parent goes ahead w/ a procedure w/o the other's consent, the one who initiated it will pay for it. Since it's not covered by insurance, she'll have to pay for it.

Of course, does she think to look around to see who's having a sale right now? I know of one place that advertises an eye exam and TWO pair of glasses for $100. Is she going there? Nope. It just aggrevates DH and me so much that because she didn't pay out a dime for those 2 pair of glasses, she could just not give a rat's ass about keeping them in good condition. IF *SHE* had to shell out money, she'd do a better job of reminding her son to be careful with them. When he wore those glasses at our house, they went back into the glasses case (he needed them to work on the computer.)...and they were in great condition when she finally got ahold of them. two weeks later they were mangled.

I think it just galls her that we actually checked up and proved her wrong. She's such an idiot.

Comments

Storm76's picture

A bit OT, but I think it's awful that the insurance only covers an eye exam every 2 years for kids. They grow so much that glasses can easily end up not fitting properly, and then the lens is centred wrong!

Having said that, yes, make BM pay for a test & new glasses - she lost one pair & ruined another, so if it's not covered by insurance then she should shell out this time.

Totalybogus's picture

I think you should give the kid the pair of glasses you have at your house. This is obviously a NEED.

Stepmom2Ched's picture

Oh, the kid DID get that pair of glasses...those were the pair that were eventually mangled. NOW do you know why I'm not happy w/ BM?

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~

Totalybogus's picture

I can certainly understand your frustration, but sometimes we as parents don't really have as much control over things like that. We tell our children to take care of things, we make sure they do when they're in our presence, but we can't control what they do with things when they are not in our sight. My own kids have been neglected to take care of their glasses even once they became teenagers. I have had to replace them too. So I think your anger and frustration is misplaced. Sure you should be angry and frustrated, but i shouldn't be with the bm, it should be with the kid. That is the only way he is going to learn to respect the things that are given to him.

Stepmom2Ched's picture

Totally, Trust me, I understand where you are coming from...but in this case, the mother IS at fault when it comes to his glasses being lost. First off, when we gave her the glasses, we gave her a case. She picked him up EVERY SINGLE weekday from daycare and could have grabbed the glasses & put them in the case. I know she didn't do this because a couple times when hubby and I went to get Ched from daycare, the glasses were just thrown into his cubby.

I stressed to her to please keep the glasses in the case to protect them. Well, her attitude was, "My other kids wear glasses and we all know how to take care of them."

If it's anything like her house, then no wonder they got lost. She's a slob. She didn't put any money into them, therefore, she doesn't care what happens to them. She just expects the Glasses Fairy to replace them.

What's scary, is sure, we aren't happy that his glasses are lost and the other pair mangled, but being angry with a child like that who doesn't have a good example when he's at his mom's house is not going to help. She has the attitude that she never does anything wrong. She even tried to place blame on DH for the son lost glasses...HELLO, she was to get them from school every Friday she got him...did she? Nope...it took her a LONG time to even admit to DH that she misplaced them.

When he was at our house, he DID wear his glasses and they WERE put in the case. We made sure of teaching him that and he did very well.

DH and I are adamant about her forking over some money for the stuff she misplaced. She gets child support for her child. She can use that money on HIM instead of on her OTHER children that belong to 2 other guys. She needs to learn not all things will be taken care of the way she wants them to be.

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~

Totalybogus's picture

I'm not understanding your custody arrangement I guess. How often do you guys have the boy? Forgive me if I missed it, but how old is he?

Stepmom2Ched's picture

We get him every other weekend, Friday night 6pm to Sunday night 6pm. He will be 7 the end of this month.

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~