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OT: What age does it stop being OK for boys and girls to share a room?

EvilWickedSM's picture

My exH and his wife are currently living with his brother. This will be a temporary situation, only for the summer to the best of my knowledge. This weekend was the first that DD visited since they've lived there. DD9s SM has 2 boys, 8 and 15. They each have a bedroom at the house they're staying at. When DD visited this weekend she had to share a BR with the youngest boy and she slept on the floor. I think at this age they shouldn't be sharing a bedroom, if only for a weekend. I would have thought that she could either sleep on the couch or the 8 yo boy could share a room with the 15 yo boy just for the weekend. Any thoughts?

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

How old is your DD? USUALLY it's more okay if the girl is much older than the boys. If not, super inappropriate past 4 or 5 in my opinion.

I know there are some families where it worked out, but I wouldn't want to take the risk....

EvilWickedSM's picture

DD is 9. I was thinking the same age as you...4 or 5. I'm sure it's fine, but at this age I think they are starting to differentiate between the sexes and I don't want anything innappropriate happening.

step off already's picture

Agree. If it's just for the weekend, the polite/proper/prefferred thing to do (aka what I'd insist on as a BM myself) is to have the boys bunk up together and allow DD to have some privacy in the younger boy's room.

katietome's picture

Honestly, as long as there are places for privacy room sharing isn't that big of a deal. I would be *very* upset if you said she was sharing with the elder boy-child, but with the 8-year old..... not a big deal.

Not having different sex room sharing between siblings is a very American. I've lived several places where kids share rooms until the oldest hits puberty.

Now, since these are step-siblings I'd make sure to have hte conversation that this can't last for more than a year or two at most. After that, the youngest boy needs to go sleep in his elder brother's bedroom when your daughter spends the night.

Kate

step off already's picture

yep

EvilWickedSM's picture

Thanks for the thoughts everyone! I think when I next speak to exH I will just discuss my concerns with him and see if they can come up with something else on the weekends they have DD. Of course, I can't make them do it, but I can at least talk to him about it Smile

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

So ironic that shoe in on the other foot in this post. Of course the boys should share a room, but expect their mother, "the stepmom", to pitch a fit about it. Please update us and let us know your ex and SM replied.

jumanji's picture

At 8 & 9? I personally wouldn't sweat it. If you DAUGHTER is uncomfortable, ask Dad if she can bunk on the couch in the LR.