Newborn and sick step kids
I'll keep this short. We have an 8 week old bub and 2 skids who are with us every wknd. The skids came over both infectious when bub was 1 week old. I did all I could to separate him but everytime I turned around for 1 second the skids were up in his face breathing and coughing all over him, so he still got sick and by 2 weeks we were in hospital. It took him nearly 4 weeks to get over. He has finally come good again and what do you know, skids walk in coughing and sneezing everywhere. I understand that dads are parents too, but why do people disregard a newborns health too. If we can NOT infect two households and a vulnerable newborn why don't we? DH says he just wants to see his kids, but at what cost? to see his littlest sick in hopistal again? And as for BM she doesn't even give us a heads up or offer. I'm almost at my wits end not being taken into consideration. Oh and I forgot to mention they went travelling interstate a week ago during this pandemic. My DH says he will get sick sooner or later and I should just drop it. Okay well then why don't we just go hang out at a covid quarantine centre then? Because we're all going to get it sooner or later right...PISSED OFF
Inform daddy that the next
Inform daddy that the next time his prior relationship progeny enter your home sneezing and coughing that you are going to a hotel with the baby until they leave and he sends you a receipt from a home decontamination service.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
I would be SO pissed off. I'm
I would be SO pissed off. I'm sad that you are dealing with this. It's so stressful to have a newborn, and the least people can do is keep sickness away. If SKids lived with you, it would not be the same--You'd see the sickness coming and deal with it differently. But a kid that just came over is a whole different force. No one has the guts to quarantine them or get on them when they don't have good hygiene because they just arrived, and the whole guilt thing about them having been gone (eye roll).
I dealt with some similar situations. I have one SD10 and when my bio son was born, I got fed up with her mom sending her to our house without any warning that she was sick. She'd claim she thought it was allergies. Mmhmm, then can you tell us about her allergies next time? And this was pre-pandemic. If I was dealing with what you described, I'd be feeling so stressed. I'm so sorry. Your baby is likely going to be fine and have an awesome immune system, but it's also unnecessary stress for all. And who wants to take risks like that while also trying to do the whole mom thing? I hope you find a solution. I second the hotel idea. Obviously it's not that easy (and hotel vents can spread covid so find something on Airbnb if you want to be the most safe). But hopefully the threat of it will make DH realize you are serious.
Oh yes, I've heard the
Oh yes, I've heard the allergies or the "he's just tired" line many times when they are clearly carrying some dirty virus. I'm close to saying something myself soon if DH doesn't. It's unacceptable, and it's not my fault they don't wash their hands and they all share drinks etc when sick. I've never known any other kids to be this sick all the time.
You need to stand up for
You need to stand up for yourself and your child. Your DH obviously doesn't care that much so it's all on you sorry to say. And your DH ignores you the weekends they are there, according to your other blog? I don't know about this whole situation.
Get it through your DuH's
Get it through your DuH's thick skull that he has to ensure his kids are nowhere near the baby for the entire weekend. Good grief, you did a hospital stint with a sick baby and he is still so cavalier about the baby's health?! A hospital stay with an infant is one of the most stressful things that can happen to you (BTDT), how can he be so careless? The very idea that you might have to go through that again has my stomach in knots ...
If he can't, or won't, then leaving when they're around sounds like a great option to me. BTW, why do you get them every single weekend? You're going to hate that (if you don't already) once your baby is bigger and the weekend becomes the only time you can do fun things with him ...
Guilty dad syndrome - he can
Guilty dad syndrome - he can't handle not seeing them every weekend because the poor kids. And on the rare occasion he asks for one off (usually due to pressure from me to have a life) she makes him feel bad "the children are missing you, now you need to make it up to them and have them extra long and take them to some fancy event" it's that attitude that causes spoilt little brats if you ask me. Little victims! I'm hoping (thin chance) that the skids will stop wanting to visit every wknd as they get a little older themselves, surely they will want to have sleepovers at friends places etc in the near future. I feel horrible thinking this, but I wish they would just drift apart from us. It was so great when they went on a holiday. That must be what it's like to have a first family!
I forgot to add - as a SP you
I forgot to add - as a SP you can't tell anyone who isn't a SP because the replies have been "why can't you just accept them as your own?" or "if they were all your children you wouldn't have a choice"
OK, but they're not all my children and we do have a choice. Why does everyone always jump in to defend the poor sick contagious skids! I'm shocked that society doesn't care that a newborn can become infected and some of these viruses are dangerous to young babies.
The reality is that if they
The reality is that if they were all your kids, you'd make damn sure that if one of them was sick that he or she would not be allowed anywhere NEAR the baby!
Not only this but you could
Not only this but you could make sure kids wash their hands and have limited exposure to disease. I hope your baby doesn't get sick again. Your husband is being a grade A piece of kaka. You have every right to protect your baby and if he isn't concerned about the babies health I think he needs to arrange to stay outside of your home when the skids are sick and when he comes home distance himself for a few days until he would be able to tell if he caught it. I liked the idea of you getting a hotel but it's impractical, too much baby stuff and you probably feel more comfortable in your home.
This is infuriating! You need
This is infuriating! You need to have a come to Jesus moment with your DH. Your NEWBORN was in the hospital and it's dismissed like this? The baby's health takes precedence over ANYTHING. Dad can see the sick kids outside the house if he has to see them. And he needs to not kowtow to BM. Every weekend is untenable. Can you not change it to have one weekend a month off or do eow with him taking them out once a week for dinner?
Thank you, I did suggest he
Thank you, I did suggest he go visit them for the day instead. Guys are weird. They seem to want to play full house or something and just have to have the kids sleeping there. Bio Mothers on the other hand seem to be happy to offload them as mush as possible!
It is sad that you DH has so
It is sad that you DH has so little regard for his own newborn. If they have to come over, then HE needs to take care of the issue. They have to remain separated from the baby at all times. Coughing and sneezing in the baby's face. My god! They can be forced to do the right thing if your husband will man up and do it.
"DH, are you on drugs, or what?"
"What is your problem, DH? Have you gone crazy on me? The baby just got out of the hospital!"
Dealing with this also...
It sounds like the guilty dad syndrome. My two younger boy skids are always getting sick. Throwing up, coughing and yet my SO still expects his kids to be around my soon-to-be 2year old daughter and play with her. SO scolds me everytime I tell them keep away from her and says their fine.
Sorry but not sorry. I just don't want my daughter getting sick. She's my one and only. So definitely stick up for yourself and your baby.
I would say that an alomost
I would say that an alomost 2yo will be fine if they pick up a virus or two... unless it's covid. I know it's sad when little ones get sick, but it will build her immune system and she'll get sick a lot less in the future. I wouldn't worry too much, if the bigger kids have a fever, ask them to be tested for covid before they come into the house, otherwise, a cold is fine... the toddler is going to be picking up more germs at daycare where ALL the kids put toys in their mouth and sneeze and cough all over everything, it's fine, it's how they build their immune system
Lol, oh how times have changed.
When I was in my early to mid teens and my younger brother was 8-ish, and or neighbor/friend's kid was 8-ish one of us got the Chicken Pox. As soon as the first of us got them, we were all quarantined at our house until we had all had them and recovered. No doubt all of us were infected when the first of us broke out. Our symptoms lagged person to person by a couple of days. This was also back in the day when kids played without close parental supervision outside until the street lights came on.
I still smh even at how it had changed when my Skid was growing up nearly three decades ago. Now most parents are too cowardly to put their kid out the door and say... be home when the street lights come on, and kids are too lazy to do little more than sit on their asses and develop carpal tunnel syndrome/arthritis in their thumbs. Heck, most of them don't even pick up a book anymore.
Sad.
Absolutely, Rags
Absolutely, Rags
I'm 35 but when I was a kid I played outside all the time. Even in the winter. I had one to two hours of TV time tops. I was active, reading, practing math, musical instruments, I had pets I took care of, I wasn't waited on either, I was a pretty independent kid. Started doing chores at a young age. And yeap, when the street lights went on, I came home.
The new generation are useless, dependent and are shaping up to be state dependent idiototic adults. I have no faith in them whatsoever. My ex's kid sat in front of a video game from the minute he woke up, to the minute he went to bed. Even ate his fried, disguisting meals as he played video games. I personally wanted to put him in the car, drive him to the woods and drop him just so he could fend for himself for once...and hopefully get lost and parish too ahahaha
But yeah, right there with you
You won the parent lottery.
No doubt, and sadly too correct on what you are saying about the "new generation".
I am finding even the ones on my team who will work are entitled little shits. "But, I should get back pay from the time I qualified for the promiotion until my promotion went into effect."
"I am going to have to find another company to work for because you won't pay me to stay home and take care of my COVID + kid unliess I take sick time or vacation."
Are you F'n kidding me? We pay 2wks for COVID+ recovery period for employees.It has to be based on a Lab test and not a self test. FMLA is a separate thing and is a US government requirement. Good luck finding a company who will pay you high five figures to sit at home and take care of your sick kid.
The concepts of "business need" and "policy" are beyond their ability to grasp.
Most sadly, the second shortest word in the English language they cannot grasp. "No.".
"But, whine, whine, whine, I wanna....., that's not fair,......................"
I have gotten to the point where I just resend them the policy and vector them to HR with any questions.
Apparently I am turning into my father.
If any of those entitled
If any of those entitled little shits demanded that while I was present??? Ummm, shit would go down. First of all, I'm an R.N and I'm exposed to COVID patients all day. And when I do contract it I'm not going to get a lick of COVID pay AND I don't even get hazard pay. The fact that some people think they're entitled to all this money just because there's a pandemic going on, when they don't even work in healthcare is absoluetly ridiculous. Send them my way and I'll sit them in a room with an activley symptomatic COVID patient and have then on butt wiping duty all day.
I think I'm turning into my dad too...and I'm a 35 year old female :)