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NEED A REALITY CHECK...

DA's picture

Hey Everyone!
I need a reality check on my perceptions! As you may have read in my latest blog everything has been going well here on the home front regarding my DBF's family and my boundaries...not having an issue regarding this but something has come up and I need to know am I over-reacting. My situation is I think unique in the sense that DBF is still half owner of his former home. He decided when he divorced his Ex-Wife that he didn't want his children to have to move out of the home because his EX couldn't afford it alone. They agreed that when the youngest graduates high school the home would then be sold and proceeds split. At this point they pay 50/50 for mortage. Now with that info out there...he goes over to the house when repairs (over $200) are needed since the Ex is responsible up to that amount. After that they split costs...just this past Sunday, my DBF goes over there to the Ex's home for just repairs. Later that evening he calls and tells me on the phone that his daughter who is almost 16 needs to go grocery shopping since their BM is sick with flu. He tells me they are picking up food and med's. I'm ok with that...believe it or not. Here's where I question my judgement. I've been home sick since Sunday morning...and today he goes out to shop for us and ask if I need any med's...mentioning the same over-the-counter med's he and his daughter just bought for the BM. After my DBF comes back from grocery shopping for us we are sitting on the couch and he starts telling me how everyone is sick at his workplace and even mentions the EX-wife by name...which I thought was weird that he would mention her in the conversation since he "never" brings her name up to me. He goes to get in the shower before work and I'm sitting here thinking...WOW...did he get me med's because he just got his Ex...med's and feels obligated or some strange guilt for looking after her? After his shower, I mention that I would prefer, he not bring his Ex's name up in conversation's unless neccessary..he says "ok". Then I ask why it took him a couple of days to ask if I needed more medicine after he just bought med's for EX on Sunday. He got extremely upset and mad at my questioning. He said I should know by now how he feels about me and was insulted that I'd question his motives. Was I out of line here???...my first thought was "why is he soooo defensive" and getting angry. Please tell me your thoughts...and if there are any GUYS out there that can give me some insight it would be appreciated.
DA

_Jess_'s picture

Maybe getting the meds for ex, which only happened because he was shopping with daughter, made him think, oh i should really do this for DA too.

I try to give the benefit of the doubt.

sarahbernheart's picture

I would feel the way you did and would have said something to him about it too, and he probably would have said the same thing you DBF said.
so I am not much help..although you have helped me by letting me know I am not alone!!
you are a better person for not being upset about the grocery shopping. I dont think I could have dealt well with that but I am a little insecure about myself too!! kudos to you on that!!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”