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StepCHill's picture

Hello everyone! I know that this is said a lot but this site is the only thing that can get me through sometimes. I am so happy that I stumbled upon this site. My DBf and I are both active duty in the military and we live together with SS3. He is with us about 45% of the time. The ex-wife is such a pain in my ass. I know how to handle stress, being to the middle east and all, but the stuff she bitches about makes me CRAZY. DBf pays her rent, phone, and she uses HIS car that he pays for, ON TOP of her CS and she STILL bitches about him not doing enough for her. When they got divorced, she was already in school and he said he'd keep his promise and help her through school. She goes to a fake college to get a fake crap certification that isn't worth anything. She works 4 hours a day, 4 days a week and complains that it is "too hard". The job that she is going to get with her crap certificate pays just as much as the job she is at now. The funding from DBf stopps 01 June 2010 b/c that is when she is done with school. Everytime she does something stupid, DBf threatens to take away everything, and you know what she says?! "well i know PLENTY of exhusbands who do the same thing for their ex wives" Umm... excuse me?! I would like to know who these people are.... because everyone WE know always tells us that this is rediculous. It would be a little different I think if she was the least bit grateful. Yesterday DBf and DumbBunny (the ex wife) got in a HUGE fight. He's been building a case against here for full custody and we think she is starting to catch on. We get him every other weds-sunday and he wants to start getting him Sunday-Sunday. Well DumbBunny throws a HUGE pissing fit. Not because she wouldn't get to see her son as much, but because she already has "plans" and also because she thinks that if we take him that much, then we won't watch him when she wants to go out!! HUH??? I love SS3 very much and so does DBf and we LOVE spending time with him. We are potty training right now and when DBf called DumbBunny after he went for the first time she wasn't HAPPY she was soooo PISSED that he went at our hous before hers. She drives me nuts. The truth is, she is scared of losing the little one because she does the stupidest crap. She screams and yells and curses at him, he even started repeating the 'f" word and we dont say that in front of him. He said shit at school the other day. She has a boyfriend every other day and always brings home these random guys in front of him. She views time with him as "having to watch him" and we view time with him as "getting to have him." She goes out drinking every weekend, even when she has him. She sleeps with a new guy then complains and crys when they dont call her back .I'm getting so sick of her crap but now I've learned to just sit back and laugh at it. I swear, some of the stuff she does is straigh out of reality TV. Anyway, i just want to say thank you to all of y'all on this site... It really has been a sanity-saver!


onehappygirl's picture

Wow! That's some piece of work you got there. DH should stop all non CS-related payments immediately. Take the car back - everything!! Unless there is a court order, you shouldn't have to pay her a dime outside of child support. And no, silly BM, other ex-husbands wouldn't pay for that crap.

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

StepCHill's picture

I know!! Honestly its eaiser to pay her the money, document it, and then bring it up in court. She is also getting food stamps and govt day car assistance that she is not claiming so she is going to have that against her. We didn't even realize that until she filed her taxes the other day and saw she didn't claim it. We always ask where these "poor single mothers" are who are recieving all this money. I guess I have a different POV about single mom's b/c my mom paid her way through law school, working as a waitress, with my sister when she was 2 years old.

wishing upon a star's picture

First of all I would like to Thank You for all that you do for our counry. I am also new to the site and it is great. I know now that I am not alone.LOL! I really hope that your DBF get custody of his son. I know how you feel when it comes to the EX, UGH! It's like get over it- It's over..... I do feel that your DBF is being to nice to his ex in supporting her but I do understand why? He loves hes son so very much. Well I can see that they are so Lucky to have you in their lives. Keep me/us posted.

~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~

StepCHill's picture

Thanks! We both love being in the military. Being apart sucks though when either one of us has to deploy. A lot of it is last minute and sucks. I think that was a major thing in DBf and DumbBunny's relationship. They were high school sweethearts (ick) and so when he had to go on missions all the time, she was always bitching about it. Saying stuff like "well I'm glad you get to leave me and your son at home" blah blah. She treated it as if we had/have a choice. She is still in the area and has become a "townie". Our base is in the middle of nowhere and there is only a small town. She applied for a job at the local bar where EVERYONE goes and we always see ex-spouses there. At this point we have to just sit back and laugh. We have a beautiful house together, we love eachother very much, and we are raising the little guy very well (i think so at leat.) When we met, I had just gone through a horrible breakup about 6 months before and he had just left HER for the second time. We were just friends and hung out a lot and that developed over a few months and we became serious. A relationship was the last thing either of us wanted and what do ya know... we ended up developing a beautiful relationship. We just bought the final things for our house to be complete, some pictures and paintings for our walls, and she saw them last night. She always has some snarky comment about our home or anything. She made him a "potty chart" and had made an extra one for our house. We actually had bought stuff for a potty chart about a month ago and just never made it. Well that sent her REEEEEEELING because his thing is stuff from the cars movie so I went to michaels and bought cars stickers, poster board, markers, etc and made an amazing potty chart. He gets a little sticker and one gummy bear for trying, a bigger sticker and two gummy bears for pee-pee, and a very big sticker and 3 gummy bears for poopy! LOL. She was so livid. It makes me sick because its never about the little guy, its always about HER. She is so selfish and seriously the ONLY reason she didn't want to do 50/50 is because it would "look bad." She threw out the "well Idaho is a mothers right state" and we just lost our minds. I'm sure it is, but you know what, a Judge knows better than that. Like I said earlier, she views having little guy as "having to watch him" and we veiw it as "getting to be with him." She is always pissed off that we take him places and do fun things with him. We have told her over and over that if she got a "real" job then she would be able to do the same stuff. She complains that the 4 hours a day, 4 days a week that she works is "sooo hard", believe me its not, and the 3 hours of "school" every day is too hard. I'm a Medic in the Air Force and she is going to a medical certification and she always is SO jealous of the stuff I can do and how she will never be able to do any of that. My DBF always says how proud of me he is and I'm so proud of him. I would do anything for the little guy. Even though we aren't married, DBF still refers to me as his Step Mom. I love both of them so much and call them "my boys." I'm so happy to have found such a great community of women/men/SMs?SF's/BM's, etc who are so supportive. Thank you guys for always sharing your nuts-o stories and giving supportive, but still great, advice. When I'm having a crappy day I just log on and read the posts.