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invasion of privacy

Kevin19702's picture

Hello, I'm a divorced father. Working on getting into a relationship. Recently, I've had several of my personal accounts broken into by someone close to me. I had credit card information stolen, personal accounts from a dating site hacked, embarassing messagse were sent, banking information compromised, etc. It has taken me months to get back to square one. (I've minimized the damage and hopefully secured my electronic life so this won't happen again).

I'm sure who did it, but have no evidence. I suspect an ex, and probably at the nudging of one her children who was exceptionally difficult. I tried to be conciliatory towards the children, because they were all hurt by their father cheating. I think they began to mistrust everyone. Maybe I was too nice? not nice enough? What is the right road to take to encourage family blending?

Cocoa's picture

first I would say you have to have room in your life for a relationship. you should have all your business taken care of, a good, strong court order which you abide by. you should already have firm boundaries in tact around your ex. get all your financial eggs in a basket. you should also be self-supporting and not living with your parents to help you with the kids and able to support your own home without a roommate. your children should be doing well in school and reasonably happy and healthy. and even then, it's way too soon to even think about "blending" a family. you should be dating potential life partners, not interviewing for an open mommy position. once you do have a girlfriend, you should NEVER expect her to mother your kids or for her to love them as you do. when and if you do marry, do not ever put your wife on the back burner for your kids and mean those wedding vows you utter. got all these bases covered so far?

not your momma's picture

I think you mis-read his post. He wasn't the cheater. The father of his Ex's children was.

Anon2009's picture

Wow, I'm sorry you're going through this.

Have you notified the authorities of this and given them your documentation of this situation? If not, you need to do that. I know people who've been victims of credit card fraud. Thankfully the perpetrators got caught.

Don't try to be a parent to these kids. Let them come to you if they want to bond with you. That said, don't be a doormat either. Insist that you are treated respectfully.