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I'm so freakin sick of BM

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

So right at this moment, DH was supposed to be in an appt. with the psychologist and SS13. Is that what's happening? NO! At this moment, he's meeting with the psychologist and BM because she pushed her way into things once again.

Our parenting time coordinator thought seeing this psychologist would be a good idea as he's had some success with PAS. BM agreed to it if DH paid for it. DH of course agreed but stated that HE would have control of the appts. because he would have to pay if BM cancelled at the last minute.

Psychologist gave DH and SS a video to watch, "Welcome Back Pluto" about PAS. SS was to watch it with DH first then with BM, then everybody would meet back at psychologist and offending parties would apologize in front of SS (yarite).

Well, as things are progressing, psychologist sees the need for further appts. with SS and DH because SS is still brainwashed by BM against DH. Today was supposed to be an appt. with SS and DH.

Here's a brief description of how BM once again pushed her way into where she doesn't belong...Sunday she texted DH that she is now working Tuesdays and needs DH to switch his weekday visitation from Monday to Tuesday (two day's notice). She will only communicate in text or email, will NOT talk to him. So he texted back and said he would change but he has plans this week (we DID have plans) and next week he will be traveling for business, so it would start the following week.

She told him to change his plans, that he was a bad father, etc etc. So DH finds out that he has a meeting scheduled for 4:30 on Monday (the job that pays CS) and that he has to switch to Tuesday anyway. BM told him too bad, that he would not have either day now because he "chose to be an asshole".

First off, SS is 13 and can stay alone for a few hours. Secondly, SD19 also lives with her and is not working or going to school. She can stay home with SS. It is not DH's responsibility for child care on BM's time!

BM stated that she now had all this "in writing" (MAJOR EYEROLL) and she called the psychologist this morning and told him she would be coming instead of SS to discuss all this. SHE'S NOT EVEN PAYING FOR THE FREAKING APPTS, yet she gets to dictate them????? I am so sick of her psycho ass.

So, at this very moment, they are in with the psychologist and I am waiting at home to hear what happened. I feel I should be able to be there as this REALLY affects me, but no, I get the sidelines again. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Sorry this is all over the place, I'm just REALLY pissed off. I'm dealing with my sister who is currently undergoing chemo for stage 4 cancer and I have chronic health issues, so my fuse is short! Thanks for reading!!

HadEnoughx5's picture

Hang in there. I know it's tough being on the side lines wondering what is happening...been there and still doing that! I have a psycho BM too, that seems to get away without having to pay anything financially. She too is into PAS and has been found guilty for it, but did not have to pay for the custody evaluation, PEACE program (to help co parenting and conflict resolution) or the GAL. All her psycho fault but the victims pay.

Maybe you can go for a walk? Release some stress. Let me know how things go. Hang in there!!! Smile

HadEnoughx5's picture

Hang in there. I know it's tough being on the side lines wondering what is happening...been there and still doing that! I have a psycho BM too, that seems to get away without having to pay anything financially. She too is into PAS and has been found guilty for it, but did not have to pay for the custody evaluation, PEACE program (to help co parenting and conflict resolution) or the GAL. All her psycho fault but the victims pay.

Maybe you can go for a walk? Release some stress. Let me know how things go. Hang in there!!! Smile

RaeRae's picture

Well look on the bright side. That psychologist is seeing her for the manipulative bitch she is. That can only work in your favor, right? Keep us updated.

hopefulSM's picture

I'm so sorry you are going through all this grief from BM. It seems that most of these BM's that cause us to turn toward these boards and forums are those that don't understand the affects their actions have on their kids. They treat their own children like some pawns in their sick games to get even or get back at the men that left them.

What is the movie "Welcome Back Pluto"? What did your DH think of it? Did you watch it?

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

http://www.warshak.com/alienation/pluto-dvd-2.html

I did watch the DVD and I think it's excellent. DH did too. It's aimed and children and teens and basically lays out what PAS is and some of the behaviors. It gives parents tips as well. Personally, I highly recommend it, but I would caution you to watch it with the guidance of a therapist.

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Thanks for your support, ladies! It really does help. I vent with DH, but he's as stressed as I am and I hate to add more to it. I must say, though, I'm blessed to have a man like him. He is very supportive.

Rae, you are so right. She couldn't help but show her true colors. She actually showed the Dr. a string of texts where she called DH an asshole. In her mind, it's justified. Basically, it's a slow process. He chastised her a few times and cut off her arguments, but she will never change. She'll just find a new way to manipulate. She will give in on occasion because she knows she has to. She's good at straddling the line where she gets slapped on the wrist vs. losing custody. DH is going back in two weeks to have his appt. with just him and SS. He is also going to meet with BM again. The Dr. is trying to get them (her) to be able to communicate and be, ya know, GROWN UP. Good luck Dr. If he can manage that, I'm nominating him for the peace prize. She will barely even look in DH's direction, and when he said hello to her, she totally ignored him. The Dr. is seeing all this. I just hope there are consequences eventually. Oh, and she actually told the Dr. that she does not trust DH and doesn't trust him with HER children! :sick:

Thanks for listening to all my venting!!

RaeRae's picture

Well if this is the beginning... I can only imagines the notes the doc took!!

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Yeah...I told DH we are NOT paying for BM to have therapy. She's not going to change. I actually feel sorry for the Psychologist! LOL

HadEnoughx5's picture

It doesn't take long for a therapist to figure out who is the whack job. In fact my DH and BM have spoken with 4 therapists, a few judges, special masters, GAL and dr.'s; BM just needs to open her mouth for a few minutes and they know who the obvious problem is. I'm convinced that BM is a narcisist and she doesn't see how the world see's her.
I don't whether to feel sad for her mental illness or laugh because she looks and acts so ridiculous :?

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Our BM usually hangs herself as well with her mouth. She even got caught in a lie with the psychologist. I read her spin on things on FB...OMG, it should have been DH who wrote that. She projects everything about herself onto him. She even said the psychologist tried to bully her, just like DH does (EYEROLL). She was proud of being asked back to see the psychologist again. I said to DH, ummmm being asked back to see a shrink means you're SCREWED UP! Talk about narcissist!

Why do you have to choose..you can feel sad AND laugh! Sad Biggrin