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I seriously hate this kid

Redsonya's picture

I got a lovely message from SS13 telling me what a "horrid" mother I am and how I just push toys at my DD4 instead of parenting her. How he just used me since I was trying to "buy" him and how he'll never come down here again. Oh yeah - he used the "c" word again a few times.

This is coming from a kid who is 1)failing out of school and has been for years 2) who has told his mother in front of his dad that she has money for booze and cigarettes, but nothing else (she is on food stamps and Medical, but won't work full time), 3) has a mouth like a truck driver, and 4) has NO friends and sits in front of the TV 24/7. He goes to bed at like 3 am every day and BM doesn't enforce any rules. BM has shoved every pych drug imaginable down his throat and its been maybe two weeks since she screamed at him over laundry and flipped a table over on him. Wow - what an amazing mother.

My DD4 has beautiful manners that strangers comment on, is very social and makes friends whereever she goes, and is just flat out a joy to be around. I do spoil her - she has a pony, has traveled more in 4 years than SS13 has in his whole life, but is just a sweet, well behaved little girl. She actually used to defend DH because SS13 loved to come over here and call him names/say mean things for "fun".

I just told him that I am THRILLED he will never be at my house again - that was one of the upsides to divorcing his dad and not a punishment for me at all. If I want a relationship with his dad, I can have one anytime I choose too, but he will never step foot in my house again.

unbelieveable's picture

WHAT IS WITH THESE KIDS?!?!?! Could you IMAGINE if any of US would have EVER talked to an adult in that manner?!! That is disgusting and I would MAKE DH BAN THAT KID FROM EVER BEING NEAR ME EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Redsonya's picture

Oh no - SS13 gets his mouth from BM. SHE has called me the "c" word on multiple occasions. You know, between demanding that I cover her children under my insurance plan and asking DH to have me pay her child support. I promise you that BM knows all about this little message and probably congratulated SS13 on it.

sc12's picture

Sounds like he is hurting alot. I am confused are you and dad not married anymore. That may have triggered even more hurt. He is envious of dd4 because she has had the guidance children need to be well rounded pleasant people. Where he has not. Thus because she has had the guidance, she gets spoiled. Where the guidance he has had lead him to how he is. Obvious it was the wrong guidance. He is hurt because im his eye he may be seeing favoritism with dd4 and also if you a dad are getting divorces he may be hurt because he wanted you to see him and treat him as if he were your son. He maybe wishing he had dd4 life not his own because it is so pleasantly blesses. SS lash out in many ways because they are hurt. That sounds like what he is doing here.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

he sounds really hard to deal with and out of control.I feel sorry for him- his behavior makes him very unlikable.For you it should be a relief that he stays away from you and DD, but one can hope he will improve his attitude when he is a bit older.

Kes's picture

Your SS sounds unbelievably obnoxious, and at 13, there is probably no chance that he will change significantly. The BM has obviously greatly contributed to his unloveliness.

Am not sure why he is still communicating with you if you and his dad are divorced. How come you haven't blocked his phone or unfriended him or whatever? You can bet your life if I divorced my DH I would never want sight or sound of his vile daughters ever again!

Redsonya's picture

Geez, I thought I had all the bases covered. I changed our home phone number and unlisted it a year ago and refused to let SS13 have it because BM would have her friends call and SS13 would literally call 30 times in a row if he felt like it. BM and all her friends are blocked on Facebook, Pinterest, and from my email address. They are all blocked from my cell phone. I guess I didn't anticipate every email address that could be used, lol.

Jellybeam's picture

If we had spoken to an adult like that when we were kids, we would've gotten the shit slapped out of us and our mouths washed out with soap!
I'm sorry you had to get divorced. I hope that kid gets in your shoes when he grows up and gets skids of his own!

Redsonya's picture

I have actually told his dad that. BM, DH and SS13 are in some state funded counseling to figure out how to deal with SS13. Apparently all SS13 does the entire meeting is threaten to leave, cuss, and call names. DH was the "good" one for a while and SS13 slammed BM during the meetings (not like thats hard to do), but it changes back and forth on a whim. I've told DH myself that this isn't rocket science. MAKE that kid go to bed at a reasonable hour (he doesn't go to school most days, because he is "tired"), wash his mouth out with soap when he cusses, stop allowing and laughing when he is disrespectful to teachers and other adults, and give him something to get involved in other than TV. DH's response to me is always that my daughter is 4 so I don't know what teens are like. Ummmmm.....from what DH has told me and what I witnessed when this kid was 10 and 11 (believe it or not, it was MUCH worse), he has ALWAYS been this way and no one has handled the problem. Its easier to shove meds down his throat and tiptoe around him.

Sorry, but with this kids attitude, mental problems and family history, if he isn't a heroin addict by 20, I'll call it a success.

snowdrop's picture

Don't take the bate!!! He's a kid, he's pressing your buttons and/ or trying to push you away. Maybe it's about how seeing you with your kid made him painfully realize how inept his mother is.

I agree with Cheri here.

Don't take what he has to say to heart. Think of him like a dog who has been abused. The dog may snarl and snap, but underneath it all is a scared, hurt, dog underneath it...

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Ignore him. Do not respond. This is what he /BM is hoping for. They want to engage you and you are falling right into the trap. Stop and walk away or hang up the phone when he starts.

Tell him you will not be spoken to like that and walk away.

godess-clueless's picture

Agree with posters who advise not responding to this " Know it all child" He is not your problem. Let the parents deal with him.