I need help and advice!
I'm very new to this forum. But am thanking my lucky stars i've found something like this.
I apologise if this is a long post, i'd just like some general advice and help.
My situation to date, is that i met a man (we'll call him R.) 7 months ago who is 22 years older than myself, we got together very quickly and are madly in love (aah!). He is currently going through a divorce (his 2nd), and has two young children (9 and 11- plus a teenager from the 1st wife- but he's not on the scene). The ex-wife is...how do i put it...sod it, she's a nasty peice of work. Vindictive, selfish, you name it. She had an affair and moved out when i met R. and took the children with her, but she's using them something awful against R. She wont let him see them, she tells the 11 year old about the sex toys she found in mine and R's room (she's broken into the house on two occassions, yes it WAS her marital home but is not anymore). I mean, who tells an innocent 11 year old child that daddy's got lots of sex toys in his bedroom, and she's found his girlfriend in bed with him naked? This poor kid still believes in Santa Claus! She's screwing those two kids heads up something awful. So much so that the children have clocked on and are determined to live with their father (who is currently going through a custody application).
Anyway i've met the kids once and they are delightful. We all got on very well, but i know she is doing her very best to get them to hate me.
I can't even express in words how vile, horrible and messed up in the head this woman is. Myself and R. are desperately trying to maintain the peace and be the bigger person, but i am so stressed out that i am spending every day with a throbbing headache, literally shaking with rage at her constant pathetic antics (something happens most days, i wont bother writing a list).
I love R. dearly, more than i love life itself. He is perfect in everyway (yes i know i've got those rose tinted glasses on). No but really, he is a wonderful person. But the whole situation is making me crumble.
I'm a nervous wreck. Should i be in this situation at 22 years old? With a man who i will never have the chance of starting a family with (he's had a vasectomy), or have the chance to marry? (mention marriage and he goes white). My head is all over the place. One minute i'm curled up in his arms feeling like the happiest girl alive, the next i'm reading solicitor's letters from his ex who LIES like you wouldn't believe! Thinking...i can't do this...
Do i go with the flow?
Break it off now before we both get really, really hurt (and are in too deep), and his kids are fully involved?
Murder his ex-wife and go to prison for the rest of my life? (Ha-ha!)
Or what? What to do what to do...