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BM and her request for $ upfront

stepmom31's picture

BM is amazing. She wants half of January CS upfront in Dec, please.

DH is also amazing. Instead of telling her, "No way in hell," he told her that he'll check with his wife and let her know.

Well, of course I said no. Sheesh, do either of them know a thing about cash flow?

What does she think? That she should have $ to enjoy her Christmas and not us?

Here's what I think, she needs to figure out how to manage her money 'cuz I ain't doing it for her! Smile

Comments

Anonymous_stepmom's picture

You and your DH are not obligated either, I'm sure it says no where in the CO that you would be obligated if BM were to ask for CS early certain months. She must have a brass set so ask you guys that espesh during the holidays. Oh well she may be upset but it's not your or DH's problem if she can't handle her money properly.

Shaman29's picture

Wow but that doesn't surprise me at all. But at least your BM has the brass balls to even ask.

Uberskank has DH's kid text him for extra money, or tries to manipulate him into paying for some bill of Uberskank's. It's delightful. The last time it was Uberskank's cell phone bill. His kid sent him a text letting him know that Uberskank couldn't pay the bill and she'd be losing her phone at the end of the month.

ThatGirl's picture

At least he knew to check with you instead of just handing over the cash. You gotta give him that Smile

Newstep's picture

In some cases I think it would be ok. My ex would do this for me if I asked. But in the 15 years we have been divorced and he paid CS I asked maybe twice. He was always willing to help but that was it I asked he did it and that was that. We didn't have a friendship with each other we rarely spoke and only if it had to do with one of our kids. But when we split up we told each other if you are ever in a bind and need help you can ask me. Ask being the key word here. My ex is financially able to do more for our kids than I could.

Amazedstepmom's picture

I think you should give it to her early....in January for february and every month after. Then nothing in December next year. I think it's pathetic that these women can't support their kids on their own. And I'm sorry as a parent you should not have to rely on someone else to get your kids gifts.

anabihibik's picture

I think I'd be having a conversation with DH about not making you the one who has to say no, too. He's a big boy with a brain. He can take the heat instead of putting it on you.

stepmonster_2011's picture

This!

I was bothered by the fact that it seems he couldn't say "sorry, no." at the time but dragged you into it to be the bad guy.

Eff that. You don't pay CS. HE does.

stepmom31's picture

I did feel this way, to be honest. But we have had so many fights about him checking with me first. And now he is. So I was also kind of happy about that.

He IS making me out the be the bad guy, but since I AM the one that manages the finances, I'm becoming more and more OK with being the BAD GUY.

Redsonya's picture

Our BM had a post last month letting everyone on Facebook know that she had $100 to last the rest of the month and that the cable, phone, and internet may be turned off. I guess someone gave her a $25 grocery store gift card so this month after showing her bag of Xmas gifts for the kids, she posts that she needs an Xmas tree and does anyone have one they can give her. All this while she works 30 hours a week and says (in court documents, no less) that she isn't going to work more just so DH can pay less support. Shameless! Where do these BMS get the idea that because they crapped out a couple kids, they no longer have to support themselves?

stepmom31's picture

It's not too difficult to figure out why. When she was married to DH, she went wild with spending on Christmas gifts for everyone, had to keep up with the Joneses. Of course she doesn't have enough money for Christmas!

DH doesn't manage the finances and sometimes he's clueless and will call for an "okay" on a big spend. So that's why. But he SHOULD have known that my response would be "No way!" So, he could have said no himself.

Either way, "WE" are the Bad Guys together, DH and I; together we share the wrath of saying "No" to BM.

EyesOfaStranger's picture

I think it's great that your hubby told her he would have to talk his wife first!! It let's her know that you two are a "unit"! And that he's respectful of your relationship! Good for him! Smile As far as asking for cs early? Screw that-- she should learn how to manage her money! "this ain't a bankkk"!! Lol (not your problem!)