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I am always being "selfish" rant!!!

canigetabm's picture

I have been beating a dead horse for probably over a year. Issue is when my bs14 goes to his BDs I would like to go on a date or something alone with DF. Enter problem=SD14 (24/7/365) she can't and doesnt like to be left alone even for an hour or the length of a movie and has no friends.....DF and I have determined something has got to change because he doesnt like when I leave him to "Watch" sd14. Here it comes: This weekend is "kid free" for me. As I am showering DF comes in and asks "Hey do you WANT to go to chuck e cheese Friday night for a bday party". Insert gut wrenching laugh no DF I do not WANT to go to chuck e cheese EVER and especially when I don't even have a kid with me.....Friday night I would like to go to a casino or rated r movie or comedy show or bar where everyone is over 21....he just can't "get" it. I need a different tactic. Any ideas???

Newstep's picture

Ugggg do we have the same SD??? Mine is 15 and pulls this shit all the time. She has to be in the same room as us ALL THE TIME!!! As far as going out we usually plan it while she is at her BM's. We do go out but she pouts and acts like an asshole good thing is SO is good about shutting her down when she acts like that. But she still does it!!

canigetabm's picture

JS...that is why he said he wanted it to change. He doesnt like "girls" night out. So he decided he was going to start going on dates....Sorry DF chuck e cheese does not qualify!!!nor does a weekend reservation at the beach with 2 beds...I for us and I for sd14...that is not romantic and also not a date!

Newstep's picture

OH no!! I just looked at your username Sad Poor thing ((HUGS)) to you. I would never be able to be a full time SM. I can barely stand it EOWeek I thank God she goes back to her BM's house.

canigetabm's picture

She does have "special" needs and his name is dddaaadddddy!!! She feels if we go without her we are ignoring her and it hurts her feelings. She is very "all attention on me" kid. We did go on a couple dates leaving her home so she ramped up the attention seeking by telling stories about boys, sex and a fake pregnancy scare. It turned out to all be a big giant lie proven by facts so daddy won't leave her out EVER. Its awesome. I took a look on care.com today for sitters. That my friends is just sad!!

canigetabm's picture

I never felt she couldn't be left home....thats all on daddy! My bs is 14 and could give 2 shits if I go out and would prefer NOT to go with us. He would rather hang out with his friends. Not sd14 we are her only source of entertainment. She has no friends.

hereiam's picture

Your DH needs to do something about this or she will be living with you forever. Or sleeping with every guy she meets in order to not be alone.

I loved being home alone when I was that age.

Why doesn't she have any friends?

It would be a cold day in hell before I would pay for a sitter for a 14 year old.

canigetabm's picture

She has no friends for a few reasons. We moved just under a year ago and the "new" friends she made don't like her anymore because of the big lies she was telling. It was totally exposed especially when you say you were basically forced by the boy.....never happened. Friends hate her.

hereiam's picture

I started babysitting at about 11 or 12. Get a 12 year old to babysit her. See how she likes that.

Orange County Ca's picture

Pick Up Girls Here Saloon

Daddies the problem I take it. Tell him you're going to the "Pick Up Girls Here Saloon" if he can't agree to go with you somewhere like a movie.

Whenever a kids said to me lets go to xxxx I said "Are you paying" and that was the end of that. I would make it a point to take them a month later so there was no connection. They learned that the best way to NOT go somewhere was to ask to go. Then on occasion I would volunteer to them pick the spot.

But never never never did I re-enter Chucky's. Once was enough.

canigetabm's picture

Cat..that is exactly what I was thinking a granny type..
Just to "watch" and make sure SD doesnt pull any shenanigans!! Her lies now have DF paranoid if we leave to the grocery store she will end up pregnant in 5 minutes. So home we stay or dates = party of 3....I'm over it. Bring on the nanny!!!! He already installed the security cams....sigh! Damn little sh*t!

tnic779's picture

I have the same issue...skids want to be with daddy bc he doesn't correct them so after 2 months of no wknd time with dh, im going out without him. He can be "perfect dad" im getting so,me adult time this wknd, without him