I almost came un-glued last night
This topic was one of my first posts on this site.
SD16 called DH last night to ask him if he would pay half a 6K car...and you know that would also mean pay for all if not half of car insurance. Mind you, BM asked DH the same question about 6 months ago and he said no. My blood was boiling........as this is fresh off of back to school shopping where BM didn't buy one single thing for skids....nothing not even a pencil. So DH had to buy it all....clothes, shoes, backpacks, supplies, lunch boxes, etc.....
Where my DH went wrong last night was telling me that he was going to reply to SD16 that "there are alot of variables and your mom and I will have to discuss it" UMMM.....hmmmm....okay....financial decisions in my house are now made between DH and BM? yeah...no. I sat there silently....he didn't send that reply...instead he finally asked what I though....I said absolutely not.
Now let me list my reasonings (pros/cons) and see if you guys think I'm out of line for saying no.
-SD16 doesn't have a license....went to driving school 8 months ago...failed test...hasn't driven since
-she quit her summer job after 1 week b/c she is "too young to work"
-the entire summer she laid on the couch and never even once put a single dish away or picked up her clothes or trash. she has also never once done anything we've asked her as far as helping around the house.
-DH pays alot of CS and half of all other "bills" BM sends him. Plus he pays for everything that comes up when he has the kids which is 50% of the time (when BM isn't withholding them). BM buys them almost nothing....what my DH doesn't buy...MIL buys. Where does it end? We have a child together....and he has 2 other kids and I have 3 other kids....DH has to draw the line somewhere? right?
-DH took pretty much all credit card debt during the divorce so he's paying alot on that debt that came from he and BM...I know this is part of the deal I'm just listing it for the sake of this post.
-DH would have ZERO say over this car as he has ZERO say over anything regaring skids. BM calls the shots and at the end of the day this would be BM's car that she would hold over SD's head like she does everything else. It's just a horrible idea all around.
She could take herself to and from school.
I would say a pro would be that the SD could now take over getting herself and her sister to and from BM's and our house.....allieviated my DH from running all over town....but BM would never allow that.
Am I being mean? We also don't have 3K just sitting around to hand over to BM for a car for SD. So now SD hung up on DH last night with something like "fine I guess I'll never drive".
I know it's not over.....even though my DH ultimately told her last night "no". It won't stop...she will beg him....BM will end up calling him.....and since I've already said "no" we are in for a serious problem if he in fact says "yes".