How often do you take adult-only trips with your SO? How often do you communicate with the SK during those trips?
Last year, my FH (future husband) and I took a weekend trip together. He told me when we first began dating that he doesn’t take many trips without his daughter. That was fine with me and I understood. One thing I didn’t realize was that the communication while he’s away from his daughter is 24/7…
Before we leave for our weekend trip, my SD (7 years old) is crying about it. She tearfully tells my FH that he is leaving her. While we were gone, she would be staying with BM. BM is super involved and shares 50/50 custody with my FH. It isn’t like we were sending SD off with a dead-beat parent for the weekend. I think SD just felt jealous/hurt over the fact that my FH and I were going without her. I stayed out of it and we dropped SD off at school.
Before we are leaving, my FH called BM to give her a heads up that SD was upset this morning. Later that afternoon, he called BM again to speak with SD to make sure she’s okay. SD is perfectly fine at this point; she’s off school and hanging out with BM. No issues on the phone, no tears.
Later that evening, we had just enjoyed a nice dinner together and it’s after 9:00 pm. He decides to call BM again to speak with SD. This is where I’m getting annoyed. We are enjoying our trip, he’s ignoring me while he’s on the phone with SD, won’t include me in the conversation, then he’s chatting it up with BM when he’s done speaking with SD. He had already talked to SD earlier that same day; why again, after 9:00 pm at night? I am clearly annoyed and he can tell. I tell him “I’m annoyed. You’ve been on the phone all day and I just want to enjoy our time together.” He flat-out doesn’t respond and closes his eyes and won’t open them. How can I talk to someone who has his eyes closed and is lying in bed ignoring me?
He finally wants to talk to me the next morning. First he tries to blame me because he says that I should have forced him to talk to me. I reminded him that he CLOSED his eyes and wouldn’t speak with me. He claimed that was his way of silently telling me that we should talk. I’m not a mind reader. He then explained that he doesn’t take many trips without his daughter and he wants to talk to her as much as he wants because she’s important to him, and he has to call BM to speak with his daughter and that is just the way it is. I disagree but I don’t want to argue the whole time on our trip.
We shower and he then calls BM again to speak with SD. And he passive-aggressively asks me “Is is okay if I speak to my child this morning?” Then we go about our day. But basically the whole rest of the day, him and I are in a group text with BM getting a play-by-play of SD’s day.
Guys, I’m annoyed. So I ask all of you – How often do you take a trip alone with your SO? And how often do they communicate with the SKs on the trip?
Am I being unreasonable by being annoyed? Since that trip, my FH and I went on a cruise together and the only reason why I had a good time was because he couldn’t make phone calls or text from the ship, otherwise he would have been on his phone the whole damn time with BM and SD. At this point, I don’t want to go on a trip with him unless it is a cruise because he spends the majority of the time on the phone with SD/BM.