I’m so close to calling it quits!!
First off, can I just say I’m SO glad I found this site!! It’s good to know that I’m not the only person in the world who wants to bang my head through the wall because of my SD6. NOBODY in real life knows how I truly feel and it eats me up everyday because I feel like something is wrong with ME. I’m scared to ever tell anyone what’s on my mind when it comes to her because I don’t want people to think I’m a bitch when I know I’m not.
But literally, I cannot stand my SD. I never knew it was possible to actually not like a little kid. Like, I’m an adult. What business do I have disliking a child?? But I really, really don’t like her.
And just for context here, this isn’t my first rodeo as a step parent. My experience with my first husbands kids was great! He has two girls that were 1 and 2 when I met him and 9 and 10 when I left him. And I LOVE them and their mom. Still to this day. I maintained my relationship with them after our divorce and will continue forever. Those girls are like my own kids. They’re 15 and 16 now and I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Also, I have two kids of my own, two girls, 9 and 11. So, plenty of experience with kids and girls here.
Now onto this little satan seed of my current husband. Where do I start?? She was 2 when we met. She had all the normal quirks of toddlers, didn’t really bother me. It was what it was. When we met, he had a roommate, didn’t really have her all that often. It was like every other weekend I think. Fast forward a couple years to when we moved in together and she started coming more often, with more space and her own room, etc. The BM is obnoxious to say the least. She has given this child such a princess complex that it’s ridiculous.
I’ve tried to bond with her for years and it’s just not happening! She’s rude, she has no manners, doesn’t listen to ANYTHING! You can tell her the same thing 200 times every single day and she will continue to do what you told her not to do. She’s nosy as hell. She cries about everything! She’s always whining, demanding everything, and I just can’t stand it!! Cannot stand this child. I finally said it!!! I can’t stand her! I don’t like her and I certainly don’t love her. I wouldn’t care if she went back with her mother and never came back to my house EVER again! Ever! She’s going on 7 years old and acts like she’s 3. She pees the bed. Never flushes the toilet. Can’t keep her hands to herself. She’s loud and obnoxious. Scared of the dark. Constantly singing and yelling and making stupid animal noises constantly. She NEVER just shuts up. She talks constantly. From the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. Talking, talking, talking, talking, talking non stop. The talking, the questions, the singing.
And I always play nice because I feel bad if I’m not being nice. At 6 years old, she doesn’t have the social maturity to understand non verbal cues when someone is just annoyed. So I just say something like “okay, go play with your toys,” because I don’t want to be mean.
My kids don’t like her either. She’s just such a little brat and her father is completely disengaged. He’s perfectly happy to let me handle everything and it makes me so mad! She’s not my child and she’s not my responsibility. I don’t want to take care of her, especially when he’s home. If he’s home from work, then he needs to be the one feeding her and bathing her and getting her ready for bed. Not me.
And I understand a natural tolerance for your own children, but there’s no way that I could sit and listen to my kids all day long just talking and asking a bunch of random questions and being loud without telling them to sit down and be quiet sometimes. I’m not saying just sit down and shut up and never make any noise. That’s not what I’m saying at all, but just sit down and chill out sometimes!!
He never says anything to her about anything. If she’s being corrected, it’s me correcting her. I shouldn’t need to constantly tell an almost 7 year old to say please and t hank you and flush the toilet and dealing with her screaming when she doesn’t get her own way.
This child is ruining my life and my marriage. Because he doesn’t know how I feel, obviously. And so when I get an attitude, he just thinks I’m in a bad mood, when truthfully I want his child to just get away from me and stop talking to me and asking me questions and just being near me. I try to hibernate in my room and then he comes in there with me and then she just barges in whenever she feels like it, even though I’ve lost my shit over and over about her knocking on the door. Yet she still never does. Just comes in when she feels like it.
And I’m definitely tired of being her babysitter!! I guess I should mention that he now has full custody. BM went off the deep end. She was always a lunatic, but now she’s a drug addicted and incarcerated lunatic so now I have to deal with this little monster child 24/7. And I’ve expressed to him that she needs to go to daycare or something after school and he doesn’t want to spend the money. But she is HIS responsibility. NOT mine. If she was a decent child, or even a halfway tolerable child, then I wouldn’t care. But she’s not. She’s a horrible kid. Zero upbringing. And I feel horrible feeling this way. I really do. But I can’t force myself to like her. I’ve tried and I just don’t. And I don’t love her. At all. I care about her wellbeing and I care that she’s healthy and I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her of course, but that’s it. That’s the extent of my feelings for her. And I keep feeling like I’m so wrong for feeling this way. I’ve never said it out loud. I just think it in my head all day long. I bite my tongue and grit my teeth and do a 10, 20, 30 count in my head sometimes to keep my attitude in check.
Sometimes I look up and she’s just staring at me and I’m like what do you want? And then she just walks away. Like, what the hell? And then she just randomly giggles and laughs all the time and acts like she doesn’t understand English. And she does this baby talk that really grates my nerves and I’ll tell her to stop because it’s not cute to be almost 7 and talk like a 2 year old.
I have NEVER in my life been so annoyed by another person. And certainly not by a child. And I don’t know what to do. I’m on the verge of just packing my crap one day and leaving. I love my husband and I don’t want to lose him, but This is seriously weighing heavy on me and I don’t think it’s going to get better. I think the older she gets, the worse she’s gonna be. And he does nothing to try to change her behavior. He just looks to me to deal with it and I don’t want to deal with it. If something doesn’t change, and quick, I’m gone! But I don’t know how to talk to him about this without hurting his feelings. Obviously he loves his daughter, evil little witch that she is, and he certainly wouldn’t want to hear that his wife Can’t stand his kid. I stay away as much as possible, but I refuse to let this little girl run my house. So when he doesn’t engage, then I have to just to keep this place at a dull roar. I just don’t know what to do anymore!!
I do however feel a little better and a little less frustrated now that I’ve vented and got that off my chest!