How much should I tell the counsellor?
Ok, so my boyfriend and I are getting married in the near future. We are having a few problems with his daughter. To sum it up quickly he parents out of guilt and she has never had consquences for anything. Her mom is so incredibly insecure about our relationship that she has been a total bitch. I made us an appointment to see a counsellor. This counsellor has been seeing my boyfriends daughter for a year now. She is 8 and has been peeing in her pants and scratching herself to the point of bleeding and shoplifting. I thought the counsellor could help us deal with a few issues. Here's the thing I need advice on, how much should I tell her? I think the main problem is that when my boyfriend is stressed he turns to marijuana. He has a puff before work and then has one after work and in the evening as well. I feel like lately he doesn't deal with any issues, he just has a puff and no longer cares about anything. I feel this is the main problem but I'm not sure if I should tell the counsellor or not. I would like him to stop but it doesn't seem very likely that he will.
I would tell it like I see it
I am about to start couples counseling next week with my husband because we can't seem to communicate with each other without arguing and I don't plan to hold anything back. I think you shouldn't either if you think the problem is party due to the puffing then say it and see what the counselor suggests. Sometimes people need to stop a habit that they don't see as a problem and it might help to have an outside source point it out. Good luck.
What's the point in going if
What's the point in going if you don't tell the counselor everything there is to tell? Mechanics can't fix cars without tools, musicians can't play without instruments and counselors can't advise without the info.
~ Anne ~
The fact that he deals with
The fact that he deals with important issues this way is cause for concern. If he is willing to go to the counseling, maybe he realizes this himself. Give him a chance, since he is facing things by going rather than blowing it off. However, if the puffing bothers you for other reasons (it would absolutely bother me), then it would be important that you bring it up. If he turns to this to deal with ALL problems, then you should probably bring it up somehow, in or out of counseling. He deserves a chance to make things better, and can't unless he knows how you feel about it. A counselor's office would be a good place to bring it up if you are unsure how exactly you feel or what to do about it.