TOUGH one! I can see your point & maybe they SHOULD split the shortfall. That isn't unreasonable at all. You should only consider having her listed as a dependent on your own benefits if you feel completely called to do so. But if you decide to go the other way, don't feel bad about it for one second. Good luck with your decision!

Just realize that two insurance policies don't mean no money out of pocket. We made that mistake and the secondary insurance will only pay additional if their coverage is more than the primary insurance.

I don't know how to explain it better but say primary insurance pays 80% and secondary pays 90%, secondary will NOT pay 20% but rather 10%. If primary pays 90% and secondary pays 80%, secondary will pay NOTHING.

I totally feel you on this one. The agreement was that we pay X amount in CS and she covered the insurance costs. Well BM lost her job (and isnt looking for a new one) and my H's insurance is crappy and wouldnt cover the children out of state. SO the BM's husband covers them. Well....

As soon as she heard we were getting married she immediately was all you need to cover them now... I was so upset im like what?? I'm not their parent and YOU agreed to cover the cost. Now, I wasnt completely unreasonable and found out how much it would cost and said that I would cover that but we would have to re-look at the CS $$$. Yeah no she immediately was like nah..

I would ask you DH what the court doc's say the agreement was and if the agreement was that he is to cover it then you have to find out what is best for your family. If it was supposed to be joint then yeah.... make her pay!!!

In my case, I added SS & DH to my benefits plan which previously covered just me and my DD. For us, it was a decision that made sense economically for our household. DH's then insurance which covered SS was more expensive and not as good as the plan I have through work. DH didn't even have a dental plan so I put them both on mine as well. I totally understand where you are coming from and at times, I've felt resentful especially when in the past the hypochondriac BM took SS to the doctor for stupid things and of course, per the divorce, sent us the bill. Thankfully, I have good insurance so these bills were for small co-pays.

If SS needs ortho, my plan will cover a portion of it but we will be on the hook for the rest as per the divorce, DH has to pretty much pay for everything for SS. I wouldn't mind so much helping to pay for this but it sure would be nice if the BM would at least OFFER to help and not just say, "Well, the divorce agreement says that you have to pay for this so I'm not paying a dime".

In your situation, I understand how you feel but perhaps look at it from another perspective. Money savings. Wouldn't it be easier to put her on your plan that might cover the shortfall rather than DH having to pay the shortfall out of pocket?

When I became eligible for health coverage at my new job, it turned out that, although I have to pay for a large portion of my/our coverage, it actually cost LESS (my out-of-pocket) for me to cover myself, DH, and SD, than he was paying for coverage for himself and SD alone. He's self-employed, divorce/parenting agreement states that he needs to provide health insurance coverage for SD.
In this case, because I AM paying out-of-pocket for her coverage, we adjusted other financial arrangements to compensate me for including them/her through my employer. Overall, the "big picture" household budget benefits from this arrangement, and I'm not financially harmed.

When my DH and I got married, I got family coverage to have coverage on his kids even though both BMs had their own insurance. Thank goodness I did because the secondary insurance has bailed us out a few times, particulary with SS8's mom. She quit her job, elected not to do the 60 day extension and was 3 months without insurance on her and the other kids. We encountered the same thing with my SD15 because at the time we did not have dental coverage available but were planning on getting the plan the following year. She got braces anyways and my DH wound up owing 60% of the bill based on their CS order.

Something to keep in mind is that for ortho, there may be a grace period of enrollment before your SD is eligible to be covered. My insurance was 2 years. If BM is insistent on needing braces, don't be afraid to tell DH to get a 2nd opinion before having the procedure done. If you do have a grace period, may be worth the wait depending on how bad her teeth are.

Good luck to you.