Help! I'm looking for advice and other opinions about my current situation.
I met my current partner just over 4 years ago after a couple of years dating she was keen we should move in together. It made sense financially but for me I was unsure as outside of my day to day working life I am a musician & dj and spent my free time at evenings and weekends making music. However I agreed as I wanted to make her happy and as a result of her 12 year old son living with us I am fairly limited to a couple of hours on Saturday or Sunday for my musical endeavors, so I feel i've made some sacrafices to make her happy. This however is not the issue.
Her 12 year old son who for the most part is a relatively pleasant child barely communicates with me at all, he stays in his room and plays xbox all day long at weekends or chats to school friends on his mobile phone. If I suggest going for a cycle or a swim he's not interested, if he does come out of his room he rarely acknowledges me unless I speak to him first and even then the conversation is bare minimum...yes, no, okay answers.
More recently my partner decided to start working Saturdays (without consulting me) and leave the two of us in the house together. I like to go cycling on a Saturday and my partner said it would be fine to leave him for a couple of hours as long as I make him some lunch. I agreed but this is where the main problem starts, firstly some days he won't get out of bed until after 2pm. If I offer to make him some food he often says he does not want any and eats crisps and choclate bars in his room instead. Even on week nights we take cooking day about but the child is a very fussy eater and will not eat 90% of the food I prepare. He will mainly only eat bacon, sausages, cheese, bacon & cheese pasta or steak, pizza and refuses to eat fruit or vegetables. So a special meal will need to be prepared for him also as he won't eat what we are eating mostly, because of this my partner feeds him normally before i get in from work at 7 or 8pm.
Recently my partner has flew of the handle with me several times as she has returned home from work on a Saturday and her son has demanded to be fed as he is starving with hunger, yet he refuses when I offer to make him some, I've also made it very clear to both of them that if the he is hungry please could he ask me to make food there will never be a problem to do that. Yet still it goes on more and more arguments over the same thing.
I have no children of my own or any previous experience of parenting, so any advice or opinions are welcome. My partner looks at her son as some sort of golden child and tends to spoil him in my opinion, she runs after him constantly meeting his every demand leaving mess and dirty dishes all around the house and would never think to leave them to the sink for washing which I feel is not an unrealistic expectation for a 12 year old.