Childless stepmom, what is the ideal implication ?
I have 1 SD, 16 and one SS, soon to be 13. I have been in their life for about 5 years now and as officially their stepmom, about 2. My husband and I seem to have difficulty agreeing when it comes to the discipline aspect of things as well as the responsibilities. Both of those teens are VERY spoiled. They are inconsiderate and have absolutely no respect for anyone that lives in the house. Especially their father. They scream and swear at them, without ever getting punished. Sure, he'll tell them their being grounded, but this just happened today that the 13 y/o, screamed at his father while getting in the car because we were 15 minutes to pick him up from school (in my opinion, it is already an enormous favor we are giving him to pick him up, he should take the bus, we live in a small town and there is a direct bus going to and from school). So the boy screamed and yelled that we had kept him waiting (stuck in traffic), my husband told him he was grounded. I thought... perfect, that'll show him he can't act like that. Well you know what ? 1 hour after that incident, the boy asked him to go play hockey with a friend and my husband said yes... I then said: I thought he was grounded. And he said: don't get into this, I make the rules. And I am getting frustrated of never being able to discipline these spoiled and bratty teens that live in my house. The SD is also a handful. She gets an allowance every week for doing close to nothing (he pays her 20$ an hour to put stamps on letters he wants to send out for the business) because she doesn't want to work for someone else at a real job because she wants flexible hours so she can see her boyfriend. Who by the way, is allowed to sleep at our house IN HER BED!!!! I never would allow that and I have fought many times with DH because of that, but then again, he says it's not my place to say anything. But it is still my house also. It is violating my values in my own house and I can't seem to find what to do about it. One more thing. My husband pays for the utility costs (heating and electricity), but I do groceries since I cook more often. That is what we agreed upon at the beginning. However, it frustrates me, because SS is eating like a pig. Literally eating for 3 grown men. He empties the jars, boxes, fruits,cheese, everything I buy, and before anyone has the chance to even eat something. I had bought 2L of yogurt in a pouch thinking I could make some smoothies for breakfast during the week... He ate the whole thing in not even 2 days. He ate 2 pounds of bacon in one sitting. I don't want to seem cheap, but groceries are expensive and it frustrates me that a lot of the time, I have to go to the grocery store more than 3 times a week when he is there because he goes through a gallon of milk every 2 days. It's nonsense to me. I don't really know what to do, I get it, he is a growing boy and he does sports, but do you have to be a pig because of that. And I have approached this to my DH many times and he says: my kids are the way they are, if you don't like it you can leave. I really don't know what to do