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OT - Eff Off/Forn Friday

Aniki's picture

Welcome to Friday, STalkers! This week hasn't been too bad (for me). Crazy-busy, but on a tolerable level. Combo week! 

Eff off to:

  • Cancer. It claimed another friend. Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhh... 
  • Covid. Need I say more?
  • Mother Nature. Where the heck is my snow, lady? We have a measly 7 inches on the ground. *scratch_one-s_head*
  • Cheezits. I simply cannot eat just one of those darn things. Oink!


Here we go with Forn Friday! Forn is 'food' and 'p0rn' combined. I want to share some recipes of things I am craving.

Portobello Pâté

  • 8 oz portobello mushrooms
  • 2 Tbsp butter
  • 1/4 cup dry white wine
  • 8 oz cream cheese, softened
  • 2 Tbsp butter, softened
  • 1 1/2 tsp snipped fresh rosemary
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp white pepper
  1. Trim down mushroom stems to be even with caps, discarding stems. Lightly rinse mushrooms; pat dry with paper towels. Finely chop mushrooms.
  2. In a large skillet, heat 2 Tbsp butter over medium heat. Cook mushrooms in hot butter about 5 minutes or until mushrrooms are tender and most of the liquid evaporates. Carefully add wine. Cook for 2 minutes more or until most of the liquid evaporates.
  3. In a medium mixing bowl, combine mushrooms, cream cheese, the softened butter, rosemary, garlic, salt, and pepper. Beat with an electric mixer on medium speed until nearly smooth. Cover and chill for 3 to 24 hours.
  4. Serve pate on toasted baguette slices or with melba toast.


Jalapeño Popper Wonton Cups

  • 12 wonton wrappers
  • 4 oz cream cheese, softened
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 12 oz. bacon, cooked & crumbled (reserve 2 Tbsp)
  • 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese, reserve 2 Tbsp
  • 3-4 jalapeños, seeded and chopped (for more spice, do not remove all the seeds)
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Spray muffin pan with cooking spray.
  3. Place one wonton wrapper in each muffin cup; bake 10 minutes or until lightly browned.
  4. Remove from oven and cool slightly.
  5. In a medium-sized mixing bowl, stir together cream cheese, sour cream, bacon, cheddar cheese, and chopped jalapeños.
  6. Spoon filling into wonton cups, then sprinkle with reserved bacon and cheese.
  7. Return to oven and bake for an additional 8-10 minutes, until wontons are golden brown and cheese is melted.

NOTE: I want to make this as a dip: no wontons, spread the mix in baking dish, bake, and serve with tortilla chips. OR stuff halved mini peppers. OR eliminate the jalapeños from the mixture and stuff halved jalapeños.


Sex on a Snowbank

(What can I say - I'm craving snow!)

  • 1.5 oz Malibu Rum
  • 3 Tbsp coconut cream
  • 6 large ice cubes
  1. Blend all ingredients until smooth.
  2. Serve in a coconut-rimmed martini glass.


Wishing you a stress-free and enjoyable weekend!


caninelover's picture

I second the eff off to COVID and Mother Nature (we need rain!). 

Also eff off to people scheduling Zoom calls during lunch hours.  Every day this week.  So annoying.

Forn Friday - I am totally making that Portabello Pate recipe.  My SO loves mushrooms!


Aniki's picture

Thank you, caninelover.

I have a team member (King Pita) who thinks nothing of scheduling a meeting with zero consderation for others. He thinks his meeting are THE priority. Riiiiiiiiight...

That pate is sooooo delicious! I could eat it until I'm sick. *lol*

advice.only2's picture

Cancer does suck and with Covid it makes it worse, I'm sorry about your loss.

the pate sounds amazing I will have to try that, and since I'm pretty much the only fungus lover in my family, it will be all mine.

I've actually made something similar to the jalapeno popper wonton cups and they are so good. Now I just want to go home and make snack foods.

My eff off is to bad dreams, this week I haven't slept well at all and I keep having bad nightmares.

Aniki's picture

Thank you, advice.only. Cancer and Covid - a pair of C words...

You can halve the recipe. Then again, you might be sorry if you do! 

Every now and again, DH and I like to have a grazing night of snacks. It's usually a chacuterie board, but hot treats are welcome in cold weather.

Ugh! I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate. Insomnia had me awake until almost 3am this morning. *dash1*

CLove's picture

Ok, heres mine - Eff off to Toxic Troll (I think I should put that on repeat) who trolls me on facebook, and thinks my marriage is inferior to what SHE had with DH, and threw away with both hands. Eff off to her every darn day of my existence.

Whew. That blew off some steam. And now on to better things like comfort food:

DH brought me a bag of clams and I churned out Vongole!

Spaghetti (dried)


canned baby clams in clam juice



white wine


olive oil

parmesan (grated not powdered)

salt & pepper


Aniki's picture












Merry's picture

EFF OFF to people with calculators that think they're magically accountants. I'm not an accountant. But I supervise a group of them. And I couldn't do what they do without training in actual accounting. COME AFTER MY PEOPLE AND YOU WILL BE SORRY, I promise you that.

Food forn -- I bought a food fermentation kit! I've taken on a lot of cooking projects in the last year, and DH thinks this is the craziest, but it keeps me entertained. I have some beautiful napa cabbage that I will turn into sauerkraut. Kitchen chemistry this weekend. I can't wait.

Gimlet's picture

I have a feeling we'd get along well, Merry.

OK, you just inspired me to crack the Noma Fermentation Lab book I bought a while back that's been collecting dust on the shelf.  I bet that sauerkraut will be wonderful!

Aniki's picture

Merry, I love that you're a boss who takes care of her people. All to often these days, bosses are ready to throw everyone under the boss to protect their own necks. You rock!

Food fermentation at home?! Wow! Never gave that any consideration until now. Cool! *pleasantry*

Merry's picture

My philosophy has always been that my job is to make my boss look good. I've been extremely lucky to have bosses (except for that one) who were excellent and well respected. For me, I hire people and expect them to work their ass off. If they don't, then they don't work for me very long. I don't mean work their ass off as in abuse, no way. And I expect THEM to make me look good too. And they do. Consistently. Not that people don't make mistakes, but most mistakes can be fixed, we learn, and we go on. I love my job.

This week's a$$hole started taking sh!t about things he knows nothing about. Bring it, jerkface.

Aniki's picture

There was a manager here a few years ago who would have thrown his mother, child, dog under the bus to save his own ass. No one was sorry to see him go. 

Sic him, Merry!

caninelover's picture

I would totally love working for you!

futurobrillante99's picture

Can't complain too much, but....

eff off to old knees and covid fat. I'm up about 20 pounds and helping son move into his new place (no, I didn't lift heavy things) I tweaked my knee. Saturday night, it was 1.5 times its normal size and the swelling made it tough to bend. I've been using RICE to get it to calm down. My BF said, glumly, "I guess it's time for a knee replacement."

I was like, "WTF, dude. It's a soft tissue injury. If I was complaining about arthritis in my knees constantly or everytime the barometer changed, MAYBE. I don't need a KNEE REPLACMENT for inflamed soft tissue!!" He wouldn't let it drop. Ugh.

So, my knee is much better after babying it for a few days. I got my Echelon bike setup on Wednesday with some help from my BFF and did a 10 minute intro ride yesterday. My knee was bendable enough and I didn't aggravate it. With any luck, I can get this damn covid 20 off before spring and take the pressure off my knees to avoid a KNEE REPLACEMENT!! lmao

Eff off to peri/menopause. This stuff sucks. I thought I was through and in full menopause, but my cycle was suppressed by the pill for 3 years. I went off it in early 2020 and nothing happened for 6 months. Then it showed up like a bat outta hell in Sept, Oct and Nov. I've been waiting for it to appear since Nov. I get crampy and achy (like now) and nothing happens. I've been tracking it and the space between each of them in the fall was longer and longer. Maybe it was a last hurrah, but I had an ultrasound in early December and was told I had follicles in my ovaries. So, still fertile, I suppose. I just wish this stuff would stop being such a mystery. Go away, already. LOL

Happy Friday. I hope everyone has a 3 day weekend. I was supposed to getaway with a high school friend Sunday night through Monday for some spa treatments, but she came down with Covid earlier this week. We've rebooked for March.

Right now, I'm sitting in the house my son and I bought, looking at the mountains and waiting for the gutter contractor to come fix the gutters on the house. It was nice to stay here last night and sleep in my old bed. SO's bed is not nearly as comfortable or big. I enjoyed having it all to myself last night, too. I'll be back at SO's house tonight, so I'm savoring the view of the mountains as I work from my recliner. Have a wonderful weekend, y'all.

Gimlet's picture

Good job getting back on the bike!  I really like our Bowflex C6 (although I wish I knew it was the exact same bike as the Schwinn IC4, since that one is less expensive) and have been using the  Cycle Go app with it.  I've heard good things about Zwift and Sufferfest but they seem to do better with a smart trainer. 

I know you like your exercise too, I can't wait for spring to get back out on the road and the trails.  I might be hitting you up for some kayak advice too!

Aniki's picture

Here's a piece of kayaking advice that I learned the hard way...

A kayak does NOT paddle like a canoe. I did a deep dig into the water to turn and promptly tipped over. Wearing leather boots. Do NOT dig down deep unless you want to practice righting yourself from an upsidedown kayak! *wacko* 

futurobrillante99's picture

LOLOLOL!! There are so many paddling techniques and paddle styles, but yes, you can very easily pull yourself over. We actually practice that on PURPOSE. I have a spray skirt and we tip over on purpose to learn how to escape and get back in the boat. My advanced friends know how to roll upright and stay in the boat. I'm not there yet.

Aniki's picture

Yeeeeeeah. That deep dig is not a good kayak technique! LOL

Our kayaks are not the kind to allow us to roll. You tip; you fall out. 

Aniki's picture

Knee replacement?! Calm the eff down, dude. Sheesh. FTR, it annoys the crap out of me when people keep pushing their agenda - whatever it may be. Like my sister insisting I need new meds. Sis, when are a medical doctor or shrink AND I am your patient, you can dispense medical advice. Otherwise, STIFLE!

I have a 3-day weekend, but DH does not. I may live it up and laze around in bed until 7am or later!

futurobrillante99's picture

I had to ask him if he had a fetish about my limbs being cut off a la Boxing Helena (a twisted film). I think he's a little obsessed with medical stuff right now because he's due for his FIRST colonoscopy in a week. He doesn't do well with medical procedures. He's very squeamish. LOL

caninelover's picture

Is the worst.  I can't wait for Aunt Flo to leave town permanently. 

Plus all the other fun symptoms - weight gain, lack of sleep, brain fog, dry skin, dry eyes...ugh.  

Aniki's picture

Dry hair, uber-sensitive skin, hot flashes that feel like I could fry an egg on my skin... Some of those damn things are so hot, I cannot get my clothes off fast enough. Blech.

Cover1W's picture

I'm getting there: dry eyes at night (now have eyedrops by the bed along with calcium magnesium pills for leg cramps - it's getting more like an old lady nightstand I swear), night sweats (less alcohol helps this but not always), a litte weight gain but not bad so far as I'm trying to excercise more (but joint pain is becoming an issue so more workouts taking place on trainers/interior equipment), brain fog and grumpiness/mood swings...check and check.  However, I'm regular like clockwork still every single month, flow is heavier though and the first day or two is loaded with cramps like when I was 18. Need to talk with doc about that this year.

caninelover's picture

Heavier flows started happening to me early in peri.  It got much worse - doc sent me for an ultrasound and it was uterine fibroids.  Apparently the hormone imbalance during peri can cause any previous benign fibroids to grow larger and start causing heavier flows.  Still dealing with this though getting an IUD to help with hormone levels helped (but didn't solve it completely).

I bet if men had to go through menopause there would be a pill available at every corner drugstore to miraculously heal it.

thinkthrice's picture


pricey but worth it!

Armor thyroid, iodine, DIM

Gimlet's picture

Eff off to my heightened, constant existential dread.

Eff off to the decline of reasonable conversation.

Your food always sounds so good!  It's the perfect amount of fancy without being stuffy if that makes sense.

Aniki's picture

I have that same feeling, Gimmy.

Ugh. The only person with whom I've been able to have a reasonable conversation (actually speaking) is DH. I was on the phone with one of my coworkers Tuesday. That boy is whackadoo and that conversation did not end fast enough. Gaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

Thank you! IMO, it shouldn't take hours to put out an attractive snack/meal.

Cover1W's picture

EFF off to being at home so much. I'm starting to go a little nuts. But when I feel pressure building, I try to get out for a walk or at least just go drive somewhere.  I'm walking this afternoon and taking off work a little early.

Forn.  I am craving something but I just don't know what it is. DH promised to make sure I get a dinner I want tonight but I don't know WHAT it is. I'm going to check the local restaurant I love and see what they are serviing. Please no pizza, no pasta, no freaking tamales or brats AGAIN (we have a more limited diet when YSD is here as she's become more picky, DH is required to cook and thus more starchy and less veg dinners. UGH. I usually just eat a small serviing with an extra glass of wine or a rare treat after dinner (I usually don't eat dessert).

EDIT.  I think this is what I want.  Braised Pork on Rice:  Scabland Farm braised pork shoulder, butter braised Griffin Creek Farm turnips, 24 hour bone broth, house made sauerkraut, Boldy Grown Farm savoy cabbage, caraway pickled Bellewood Farm apples, pickled mustard seeds, Island Farm leafy green parsley.  HOLY YES PLEASE.

Aniki's picture

Cover, DH and I try to go for a drive at least every 2 weeks. It really helps!

That braised pork description is making my mouth water!!!

halo1998's picture

We have bid on 6 different condo and lost them all.  I mean really people...bidding over the apprasial value is probably not a good idea as eventually this bubble is going to burst.  Anyone remember 2006-2007..yea its going to be like that.

And so much for everyone being out of work and have no money.  I make a boat load and I still cannot afford to pay for this condo in all cash...we are talking 150,000+.  Who the freak are these people...  I refuse to pay 10s of thousands over apprasial.  WTF......nope.  At that point we are nearing what I pay for my 2500 sq foot house back in the 2007 housing bubble. I'm not paying that for a 1000 sq foot condo.

I just want to get my two out of the house.....and forget renting that is just as bad.

Food...I'm skipping food and going to straight to the drinking.  I'm so fed  up with this...

halo1998's picture

of Angel's Envy....and it will cracked open tonight.  DH will be drinking an Weller Antique. 

I might even have two...

Aniki's picture

Nice! I'm thinking about partaking of Trakal or Poire Williams pear brandy (both unopened). 

Gimlet's picture

Also, you guys, my cats are so bad.

I just told this story in a PM but thought you might enjoy hearing about my cats who are worse than skids.

The little one (Scamp was a suggested name for him and it fits perfectly) fished a pound of ground turkey out of a cold water thawing bowl, got the bag it was in wrapped around his neck (it was packaged and then in another bag but he was clearly trying to slice it open before I came around the corner and caught him and he ran), and was racing through the house dragging a cold, wet, leaking bag of raw turkey behind him while I was chasing him and yelling to DH that "He's dragging raw turkey!!" and he just looked at me like WTF, how is this my life.

I am the worst cat mom on the planet.

Aniki's picture

There are bits of lettuce and salmon and other things all over my keyboard. Too bad Scamp is not here to lick it up!

My sister used to have a YUGE tomcat who was a rescue (RIP). He was about 6 months old and living on a farm, starving, because the other cats would not let him near the food. He once dragged an entire 16" pepperoni pizza (uncut) under the couch and had scarfed down the toppings from three slices before my sister could get to him. *lol*

caninelover's picture

I had to chase one of my two around this week to get his medication on him.  Its a topical behind the neck application but he absolutely hates it.  He seems to have a sixth sense for when it is coming and avoid me - no amount of food or treats will lure him.  But I caught him off guard yesterday and got most of it on him - I had to chase him around the upstairs to finish up.  I got a good cardio workout in the process.

Cover1W's picture

LOL.  both my cats get fairly regular pills and my baby girl gets topical ear meds (thyroid) twice a day. Now she's also starting some pain meds every now and then when her arthritis flares up which is a liquid. Oh so fun!  boy kitty doesn't run when it's pill time because it comes from the 'treat cabinet." But he's a good fighter. baby girl I have to trick each and every time it's oral meds.

Step 1 ) feed cats to distract them 2 ) get out meds and prep them while they are eating 3) while baby girl is eating apply ear meds 4 ) now prep pills 5 ) after they have eaten and are on their kitty hot pad all zoned out get pill for boy kitty and give to him followed by treat 6 ) baby girl is now in hiding 7 ) wait for baby girl to tentatively come back into the room with pill at the ready (but where she cannot see it) 8 ) nab baby girl when she's down and give her the pill - lucky for me she's easy with this actual step 9 ) baby girl runs away, preferrable to treat. 10 ) if pain meds needed now prep syringe for mouth feed 11 ) baby girl RUNS away  12 ) 30 min to one hour later trick baby girl again when she's down and battle of the oral meds takes place.

My DH calls me Florence Nightengale for my kitties.

caninelover's picture

Thank God at least my girl is easy.  Leaves me to focus on a stealth attack on my boy Smile

Aniki's picture

I had a female kitty that made Wolverine look like a kitten when she slashed her lethal claws. I finally had to resort to crushing the pill, mixing it with a little water, and using a syringe to squirt it down her throat (after getting the vet's okay). It was the only way to get meds into her without me bleeding profusely.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

The cat and the turkey made me laugh out loud. I used own a bookstore and I had two "store cats." One of them got her head stuck in a plastic grocery bag and completely panicked. The store was large and she took off running. I was afraid she was going to kill herself as she ran into bookshelves. She finally ran between a ceiling high book shelf and a wall,l and I grabbed her as she came back out. It was funny and terrifying at the same time. Ever since I am completely paranoid about my cats and any sort of bag with a handle.

Gimlet's picture

Owning a bookstore sounds so neat!  I'd love to hear more about it.  I also love bookstores that have "store cats". 

I'm glad kitty was OK, they really panic when something like that happens. 

IDontCare3117's picture

Eff off to having physically thin skin, and the sebaceous cyst I have on my left a$$ cheek from sitting at my computer so much.  Apologies for the graphic details, but there's no other way to describe it.

Eff off to sanitation companies who won't pick up cardboard boxes unless they are already broken down.  They don't understand I can't keep a box cutter at my house because the term "intentional harm with malice aforethought" could potentially end up on a criminal indictment with my name on it.  

Aniki's picture

Oooooooooowwwwwwwwwww!!! Sorry to hear that, darlin'. Would a donut cushion help in any way? Sit on it part of the day? 

Bummer. I use heavy-duty scissors to slice the tape, then tear the box. But I'm a Valkyrie so... *give_rose*

thinkthrice's picture

To intuit and QuickBooks Online.  They keep adding "features"  to the point where it becomes unusable.

Most recently they blew out my custom sales tax entries for the five counties we do work in.  Instead they have put in some sort of locator based on the billing address which may not be the location the work is actually done in.

Spoke with a salesperson who didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground and told me that the software never was meant to have custom sales tax entries which is clearly a lie as I have been using it successfully almost for 5 years now.  Tried to upsell me.  Had to contact one of the bigwigs in California so hopefully they can Rectify it.


Cover1W's picture

My neighbor hates the new upgrades and lets me know about it regularly! Same issue as you!

thinkthrice's picture

My custom tax rates. Hopefully it will not throw off the figures when i run the NY sales tax report.   You don't mess with taxes when it comes to NY!!!