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Got a visit from a rookie cop tonight

LAMomma's picture

Per the court order we picked the girls up on Friday at 6:30pm.. We get them until Wednesday due to a 7 day clause before school starts. (They have to be back 7 days prior to school starting) BM seems to think they should be going home today thus she called the cops.

A rookie young cop came to the house and I immediately met him at the road with paperwork in hand. He wasn't here to enforce the paperwork he said but was here to see the girls. A welfare check. I told him flat out no, told him it was harassment because there is no concern over the girls and didn't he think that would be traumatic for a kid considering we went through the cop crap a couple of weeks ago with them in the gas station parking lot. (BM LOVES drama)

I offered the police report. He didn't seem to know wtf he was doing or talking about. He skimmed through the court order then asked if since school was about to start if we would return the kids tonight. Uh hell no. This is my husbands time and no one has the right to take that away from him because BM is pitching a fit because things aren't going her way. DH told him he didn't like his attitude, it was a civil matter and he wasn't seeing the kids. He told him if (my cousin who is a cop) was working he would talk to him but otherwise nope. Two other cops pulled up, one got out and talked to him then they all drove off without another word.

I'm sure we will hear her screaming and throwing a major fit when we drop off the kids on Wednesday. It's gotten so bad the gas station employees crowd around the window to watch at pick up and drop offs because she is THAT psycho and dramatic.

On another note we've had SD7 in pull ups at night time because she pees in the bed. Surprisingly she hasn't peed once since having to wear them this time so that's a plus. SD4 got put in one last night for pooping on herself then sitting in it and not telling anyone. I had my DD9 keep coming up to me saying DS4 stunk real bad. He was bragging about farting so I chalked it up to that. I went in the room to put something away and smelled the distinct smell of crap. I looked and sure enough.. She pooped herself. She got put in a pullup for the night. Today at bath time she looked at me and told me "My Momma doesn't make me wear diapers". I told her I'm not her momma and if she craps herself like a damn baby in this house she will wear a diaper like one.

I'm sure we will get major complaints about them wearing pullups because how dare we. I'm tired of cleaning up bodily fluids that aren't mine or my own kids.

LAMomma's picture

He did report back.. He called backup. He was a young 18-20 year old cocky cop who thought because he had a uniform on we would bow down to whatever he wanted. Nope. We know the laws and our rights.

Backup came, talked to him for a whole minute before they all got into their cars and drove off without another word. Police have no say in a civil matter.

LAMomma's picture

What's so hard to understand? BM showed up at the station in a panic, someone who obviously has no clue sent the cop out and the rest is history. We'd LOVE if CPS would get involved. We can pass with no issues but I'm pretty sure she and her boyfriend do not want CPS poking their noses into their household.

LAMomma's picture

You can when it's not really a welfare check. You can't say you want to see the kids then in the same sentence ask if we will return the kids early to her custody. It was about a custody dispute which he had no legal standing to be involved in.

Maxwell09's picture

Good for you. I think you handled all of that well especially the rookie cop incident. You were right, he has no authority to check the welfare of the home or kids unless he has a warrant to enter. People often assume the genuinality of a police officer and just give into their demands. My only concern is that you say y'all have to put up with her making a scene at pick up/drop off. No you don't. She will never stop until you stop indulging her with attention. Send a third party to exchange the kids if you can. DH's paperwork states that he is responsible for recovering SS as is she for her time so that isn't an option for us. So my second suggestion is to have someone obviously record her and the exchange. We made it known to BM that we had cameras installed just because we're tired of her telling people my DH is "yelling" and berating her. She stopped pulling her crap almost instantly. I don't think you should go but if you must be the person to video it. Even if she doesn't stop, with the videos of her acting crazy your DH could submit it to the courts and try to have the Judge modify the order to third party exchanges at a police station.

LAMomma's picture

I'm not going to put up with anyones crap especially not at my own home. It was a tactic she tried to use as harassment and to bully us because she wasn't getting her way. Nope.. Not going to work.

I do try to record majority of our interactions but that's the thing though. We DON'T give her attention. He doesn't respond to her calls or texts unless it's valid or an emergency. When we drop the kids off he takes them out the car, they walk towards BM and he gets into the car and we drive off. It's when we pick up that can be tricky because she will hold the kids while she goes off, yells, screams, tries to bully, etc. although since we called the cops she has been somewhat calmer. The gas station employees report (we are friends with them) that even after we leave she will sit in the parking lot and scream, cuss, yell, make a scene and we aren't even there! She has no shame and is NOT embarrassed.

LAMomma's picture

We do record majority of the exchanges plus the gas station has video cameras if something should happen and we can't.

LAMomma's picture

Oh yeah, we would ask to pull it immediately if something ever happened that we needed a copy plus a police report.

kathc's picture

I'd move the exchange location to the police station if you're able. Screw the gas station thing. Do it right in the police station parking lot so that BM can throw her fits in front of the cops. They'll get to know her and how she is and you won't have to deal with the cops heading to your house anymore because they'll know she's full of shit.

LAMomma's picture

We would have to go back to court to change it.. It's in the paperwork to meet at that specific location. The owner flat out told the cop a couple of weeks ago he didn't want her and her boyfriend there. They cause a scene every time and well, it's a business.

Problem also is we live around 30 mins from each other. She lives in a VERY small town and has a friend that has a cop as a husband. The meeting spot is in our jurisdiction and I don't think they'd make her drive here for both drop off and pick up to meet the the court house/sheriffs department and my husband knows a lot of the cops here due to his job so it kind of works in a favor if we keep it close to home.

LAMomma's picture

Round 2.. Got a call from the sheriff department. LOL apparently she didn't get anywhere with the city police yesterday so she went to the sheriff station after showing up to the meeting spot today. She texted "where are you?". Seriously?

We recorded the call.. He called before even reading the paperwork and read it over the phone. Admitted that he can't do anything but make a report about the situation. Whatever.. we don't care. He was kind of a butt but who knows what she told them nor do we care. Told him the same thing we've told her multiple times. We will bring them back on Wednesday per the court order.

LAMomma's picture

Yup! We picked them up on Friday. She told the kids she would see them Sunday.. My husband corrected her and told her per the court order we would be bringing them back on Wednesday, NOT Sunday. She screamed and fussed in the parking lot while he loaded the kids and we drove off after he was done. Sunday rolled around and she went to the meeting spot. We didn't show obviously so she called the city police which was the original post. Yesterday rolls around and she texts at the normal drop off time asking where my husband was. He told her we were at home and he would be bringing them back Wednesday like he said Friday, Sunday and now again on Monday. Apparently she didn't like that answer then proceeded to go to the sheriff department since she did the city police the day before and got no where.

I honestly do not know how he was with her. I mean she's obviously batty and psycho. She has another child that is older than his two for another guy. This guy doesn't see the kid at all. No wonder.. She probably ran him off like she's been trying to do with my husband. In her world if you aren't with her then you've left your kids and abandoned them. She wants her boyfriend of the time to take over being Daddy.

The sheriff was kind of annoying. He acted like he had some kind of say in the matter and my husband flat out told him he did not. It's a matter through the court system. If she has a problem with the paperwork which she obviously does then she needs to consult her lawyer or go back to court. It's not like we kidnapped the kids. It's his visitation time that she's trying to block. We told him it was harassment. He argued that it was not then stated it would be if it was continuous. DH told him it was.. We went through the same thing yesterday and she got the same answer. He seemed kind of surprised to hear about that but either way.. He can write whatever he wants in his little report. We will go grab a copy for our records but the court order is on our side.