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UPDATE: Visit from OSD & her 4 children

jam's picture

I had come to a point that I was drawing a line in the sand. The SGKIDS will wear pull-ups to bed while sleeping over at my home.

I had asked my dh to back me and he said he would AND he want to call OSD. I told him not to call her & that when she arrived it would simply be made clear that the sgkids WOULD wear a pull-up.

I had taken my nice bedspread off the bed and put an older bedspread back on the guest bed. I laid out a water proof mat on the bed and laid out two pull-up & a diaper on the mat. I had a larger pull-up for the 9 year old, a medium pull-up for the 6 year old soon to be 7 and laid out a diaper for the 3 year old.

Osd arrives with her 4 kids. The youngest is just a month old, then there is 9, 6, & 3. Osd walks into the guest bedroom and states "Well it looks like grandma jam has prepared everyone for a pull-up." I simply said "Yes I have".

After everyone has dragged the bags in, placed baby on floor in his infant carrier, and everyone settle on the couch. OSD walk back into the guest room and comes out and states "Are you making a suggestion?" I firmly looked her in the eyes and said "I want the skids wearing a pull-up" and then went on to say "I want to protect my bedding". Her reply was "well sometimes the kids have an accident when they are out of their routine". She then tells the two older sgkids to go put on the pull-up I had laid out and then she walks back to the guest room and back out holding the water proof pad I had laid on the bed. She looks at me and says "what do you want me to do with this?" and I told her that when she puts the 3 year old down for a nap I want that under him". I was very clam but firm. Later osd comes out with the diaper I had laid out on the bed for the 3 year old and says "this wont fit anyone" and throws it down on the coffee table and then says "I brought diapers". She wasn't yelling or anything like that but I knew she was mad.

The next morning, of course the pull-ups are soaked full but my beds were dry. Osd proceeds to tell us that they had taken osgs to the doctor because of his bed wetting problem. I find that interesting that last night she had said that SOMETIMES they have an accident when out of their routine but this morning it was a different story.

OSD left the next morning with 3 of the 4 kids. We have had the osgs since Wednesday night AND his pull-up has been totally soaked each morning but the good news is, NO WET BEDS!

Today my dh will drive the 1 1/2 hour trip to take osgs home. Since I go to church on Saturdays, dh will be driving grandson home by himself.

sandye21's picture

Good for you for standing your ground on this. You did the right thing. I agree with wineisthecure, there is a good reason why she is leaving the oldest with you. It could be that you already know about the problem, and she wants to avoid further embarrassment for herself and the child. And that is who I feel sorry for - the child. But SD SHOULD be appreciative that you are trying to be helpful and she should be more understanding about your need to save your furniture. I don't know how often you have guests but you would like them to know the mattress they are sleeping on does not have urine inside of it.

WEDMD specifically lists covering the mattress with plastic as a positive way to address the problem, as well as restricting fluid intake before bedtime and encouraging the child to urinate just before going to bed. So if she tries to argue with you again you have backing by the medical community. The 9 year old may be embarrassed that he/she has to wear a pull up at your house but I'll bet the kid would be more embarrassed knowing he/she ruined your mattress.

jam's picture

All my mattresses are protected with waterproof covers and have been for years because of the sgkids. My dh even made a comment that he thought that maybe osd was not taking care of business because she knows I have all the mattresses protected.

I really don't think this story is over but I plan to stand my ground.

Thumper's picture

Congrats on making MOM be accountable for her lazy parenting. AND thank goodness you stood your ground.

Let me guess Mother of the year would never think of stopping all drinks at 6pm?

PLUS walking each kid into the potty every hour until bed time too.

Poor kids. Glad you survived so far.

Rags's picture

Well played. Forcing waste of skin parents to live their parental failures by holding their kids accountable is a great tactic.

I applaud how you addressed this.


SugarSpice's picture

allowing your children to ruin the bedding of a host is just plain crass. if any one has an incontinence problem one should inform the host and provide the solution.

the mother making this your problem was extremely rude.

marblefawn's picture

I'd consider this a win! Good job sticking to your guns and getting husband on board. The next visit will be easier now that you drew a line and SD didn't cross it! Hopefully, the wetting issue will be addressed and everyone will be better for it.

fairyo's picture

Yep-well done. I suspect that next time she comes to stay most of those kids will be dry- but I would continue the tactic until they are- she should be really grateful she has you for a SM!

mtnwife530's picture

Good for you, You stood your ground and your message was clearly received.
DD had Enruesis til age 8 ,I did take her to the doctor who said rule #1) DO NOT LIMIT FLUIDS, restricting fluids somehow decreases bladder capacity . And she was given a medication (wish I could remember the name of it) I remember it was 1/2 -1 of a tiny little tab. It worked in about a week, she took it for about 8mos, if I remember right, and that was the end of it. No side effects and it really boosted her confidence.
I know parents are resistive of such advice, but if you bring it up as concern for the kids, OSD might at least think about it??
Good luck!