Feels good to have finally walked away from DH's family
It's that time of year when we send an Easter package out west to YSD and her family.
After her crappy treatment towards me last year (I was the one who organized the package, bought and paid for every bit of it: toys, clothes, books that YSD alwayws wants included, treats, ... wrapped everything, and wrote some very nice things on the cards for both SGD and YSD & SSIL, all DH had to do was take it to the post office) and after all that, not only was DH the only one that received a text from YSD to say it was received and that she wanted a video call with us for them to say thank you, but neither she nor SGD who was clearly coached by YSD even so much as said hello or thank you to me on the video call, only acknowledged DH with hello and thank you for the gifts even though I was sitting right there and clearly visible. And they made sure to add "I love you DH" and "DH - your the best!" just to make sure I got the point I guess. They literally did not acknowledge me, at all
Anyway, that was the straw that did it...a life-changing decision for me to disengage finally from all the nonsense with DH's family. Especially considering one of the gifts in the package was my standard stunningly gorgeous and expensive dresses for SGD, and YSD then "tried" to have a second video call with me so I could see SGD in the dress but apparently YSD couldn't get SGD to stay in the dress because "she really doesn't like dresses like that" but then posted on FB not long after about the pretty little princess dresses she had bought for SGD - so apparently the only gorgeous princess dresses she doesn't like are from me, and by posting it on FB wanted me to know that
Regardless, by that point I had already decided I would never spend my heartfelt time or money on them again. They would never need to worry about SGD not wanting to wear a pretty dress from me as I would never again buy one for her and they would never feel the need to acknowledge me on a video call with hellos's or thank you's let alone I love you's or other kind comments. They would not have to acknowledge me at all becuase not only would I not be very present in those calls, but none of the package they received would have come from me
So this year the most I did (other than signing the cards as well as DH) was remind DH that he was looking after it all. He was lost and didn't know what to buy and picking gifts for SGD and SGS now as well, he looked exhausted. I also saw the "ouch" on his face when he saw how much it cost to buy all those expensive things (which I honestly thought he felt I would still buy this year since I'm the one that has always done)
I didn't lift a finger much and I definately didn't pay. But I think what actually upset DH was I had a total blast buying things for my own niece's kids. Since I had so much more money to spend this year on thsi, my great-niece and great-nephews got spoiled rotten and my great-niece received one of the most stunningly beautiful little princess dresses you can buy!
DH seemed very upset and sad, not so much that he had to look after all for his family and not even that his own grand-daugther did not receive the usual beautiful dress from me. I don't think he even cared much if she received that part of the package. What DH seemed upset about was that all the fun and time and money and energy that normally would go towards me doing that for his daugher and her family not only didn't happen this year, but it was all directed at mine.
There was no anger in my actions. No hurt any longer. Not seeking revenge. I will always continue to be polite, respectful, mature and a decent human being towards them. But I no longer feel any respect really, I certainly will never be dumb enough to think of them as family or even friend. More like a co-worker you have to tolerate and get along with and so you are always at your best but that does not mean you actually like or respect them or think of them as a frined or anything. I just simply am no longer interested. At all. And that DH now knows without question and he also knows that once you've lost me that way, there is no coming back
It's their loss. And DH's. I'm just doing fine!