My DH and i just got into a big fight over my share of responsibilities, confidence, towards SD11. (sorry for the long details)
Overview:

It is spring break, and DH and i have SD11 for 2 weeks instead of one, that's because BM gone out of town due to work. DH and i both were able to enroll SD to a small local "spring break camp" that is only M-TH 8:30a-4:30p; to accommodate our work schedule. I always suport my DH whenever SD11 comes over for the wknd, rather i like it or not, but simply do it for the love of my DH. I have volunteered my services to DH that i wouldn't mind drop SD to camp in the A.M. if he can make some adjustment to pick her up. DH and i both talked about the plan for the week for sd while she is here with us temporaly,and both came with the agreement what's expected while her being here. He also shared w/ me how SD11 has a small plan cell phone, for her that she only uses in case of emergency, b4 after care, and how she would also take it w/ her at camp. Which it was fine and makes perfect sense.

Day 1 dilemma:
Yesturday was the 1st time DH allowed me to drop off SD11 to camp. Despite DH does every single thing for SD11 (which some could be good,bad or too much)!or could be over reacting at times. He called me 9 times that day to check on me. Something that he never does on a regular basis for me. 3 times in the AM before our departure to camp, 4 times in the PM before i pick up SD11 to camp. Only 2 of those calls was about me/or us (the regular DH and wify daily talk). Not to mention, that the times that we called me before and after i pick SD11 up from camp i would tell him that i will speak to him later after i get settled or in the house, or have SD call DH from my cell, since she fogot her cell the 1st day. But unfortunately, he always called me 1st w/o giving me a chance to return the call. I felt like all those calls were unnecessary and that i was being micro managed by him. DH never calls me on a regular basis and as much even when i do ask him to, just like i would do to him. All i usually ask DH is for us to communicate at least once or twice during our work schedule (in b/w breaks). But i still barely get that once in a while call or just a txt. so therefore i usually make the calls no matter how busy, or free i may be. He always gives me the excuse that he can't do the same as his career is so demanding that he barely has the time to get on the phone etc.. But that day, he really had showed me differently. He truly had showed me all the free times and sacrifices that he is willing to do when it comes to SD11. (so not fair, call me jealous if u want idc). So that evening after the day was over, while SD11 had showed and went to bed. I brought it into his attention about how i felt, and he took it as i was complaining, and explain me how he simply wanted to make sure that everything was going smoothly... i left it as that..

Day 2/today's dilemma:

DH decided to leave a note to SD11 on what is expected of her today as far as her morning routines, reminders, etc. as if i am not here to do that and making sure we all ok. (it was just DH wanting to be in control, and wanting to do it). How can i contribute to being a step parent or a responsible adult if he doesn't give me any space to do what i need to do. He sees how i always take care of my nieces when they come over, and of SD11 when she w/ us, but now treat me like a kid. R u freakn' serious? Since DH found my previous concern from the day before, he to call SD11 cell phone while we were getting ready for camp, making sure that she was doing what he had expected her to ( in addition to the note that he has already left on the table before he left for work for SD11 to see). After talking to SD11 this morning, he didn't ever bother to ask to speak to me, or ask SD11 to tell me to call him after their talk). I was so upset. So after i drop off SD11 to camp. He finally decided to call me an hour later, asking me if all went well this morning to get SD11 ready for camp, knowing that he already talked to her in morning and she already told him everything that she had completed before i drop her off. I told DH, if he gonna continue to keep track of the whole itinerary since the micro managing was getting out of line that he might as well do it all himself since there is either a trust or controlling issue. So we end up getting to a fight. Now he just sent me a txy msg telling me " it shouldn't be a problem for him to call his daughter every hour at the hour. He is not undermining me. and due to the sensitivity of this issue that he will take my offer and that he will now take care of SD11 for the rest of the week so that way there will be no problems when it comes to me feeling inadequate in our relationship" OMG r u serious??.. Who said anything about being inadequate, he still doesn't see my point it's the principle. I’m so frustrated!