Misery seeks company. THe BBs cant stand the fact that THEY failed at what you are SUCCEDING at. I am dealing with it too. SHe posts trashy pics of herself, has her kids calling the guy she left my husband for and was only married to for three months Dad but god forbid the 2 yo call me mom.
She said I am living her life, her words. SHe says I am the reason she isn't with my DH (I never met him until after she moved to ARkansas to be with Mr Perfect (3 mo marriage) She misses being dependent on him and him under her control (He's way too passive)
Stay strong and know that the man you are married to isn't the same man she was married to, men change and they grow. My DH does things here that his son will admit he never did before.

I get mad too, right now I want to rip her fat head off - but I can't get my hands on it, its usually working like a hoover vac. (She brags about this)

holy cow crayon!! are you serious?! geez. Well dragonfly, sad but true there is nothing anyone can do.. the only thing is to tell your DH to change the subject anytime she asks personal questions about anything that has to do with the two of you and your life together.. we have had the same thing happening to us.. she wants to know where we live, what kind of house.. if we are buying or renting and I flat out told my DH when he was on the phone with her that it was none of her damn business and to stop asking things like that because it doesnt concern her. Sometimes we have to be the ones with the backbones here, I know I had to be because my husband wont say things like that sometimes because he is afraid to "piss her off" and she wont let him see SD. I tell him too damn bad and that if thats the way he thinks he might as well kiss me goodbye and remarry her because who cares what she gets mad at? She doesnt deserve to be nosey or tell you guys how to run your lives and your household. Another reason that they do this is like what the girls above me have said, she thinks you are living her life and if she can have some kind of know how or something to do with it somewhere in her screwed up little mind somewhere she feels that she still has contol.

BM has given us her opinion on the fact that we got married at all, bitched when I sent her kids presents with my married name on the return address, told us we shouldn't have taken a honeymoon, told DH "how dare you move" to where we live now. Blah blah blah

I agree with people above who say she is steamed that I'm making work what she screwed up. She actually emailed me one time and said, "Welcome to the fun world of being Mrs. Blueberry." As if she still is and has any jurisdiction to welcome me - I replied, and I quote, "It IS fun - I'm sure you miss it!"

Dragonfly, don't let the nasty thing get the best of you - the best way to let her know her opinion doesn't matter is to ignore it - or just respond "Oh" when she gives it. For example...

BM: "I'm the REAL wife and it's MY life you're living!" (ugly grimace)
Dragonfly: "Oh." (pretty smile)

Blueberry's Baby

Daddy and Stepmom are "Greens."

Kids likewise are Greens.

Mommy no longer is a Green in anything but name -- and the fact that she apparently is green with envy that you're living the life she probably wanted to lead!

I know this isn't about the BM butting into our lives----which I think they will forever try to do. This is more about the issue of first & last names.

The BM in our case has changed her name so many times it's confusing. BM's full maiden name was "Betsy Susan Jones." Before BM was married to her first husband she called herself "Betsy Jones." When she was married to her first husband she called herself "Betsy Caldwell." For her second marriage she called herself "Susie Wright." And currently in her unmarried version she calls herself "Betsy Susie Wright." it's just weird to me to constantly change your name. It seems like either a personality complex or trying to hide from creditors/law/etc.

As far as other things (this only a hint of everything):
1. BM scheduled SD to have surgery during our honeymoon. BM knew months beforehand about our honeymoon dates. Even doctor said SD could wait. BM still did---I think hoping that DH would cancel our honeymoon. Then BM brought it up court stating DH was a bad father for not coming to SD surgery?!?
2. Currently with SD's school, BM has her name down as "Mrs. Wright" instead Ms.
3. BM has continually tried to weed me out of certain incidents, such as doctor visits, etc. Last time we went to doctor's office BM kept telling the nurses to make me leave that BM felt only BM & DH should be in the room. Mind you I have taken this child to the doctor, etc many a time---by myself or with DH.

I agree that there is something about these women that makes them think they still OWN their ex. The truth is they messed things up for themselves and are so jealous that the exes have moved on and are happy.
BM continues to imply, always by e-mail because she is damn coward, that I am the reason why she and my fiance' are not able to co-parent. Yeah, right. It's all about control and she no longer has it b/c I am the woman in his life now. She is so jealous so she tries to convince him that I am the problem.
In her perfect, make-believe world, she is the model ex. She is respectful, flexible, cooperative and is always compromising her needs. She shields HER children from bad things, sets rules and is consistent.
Any behaviors the kids have are a direct result of being at 'OUR' household. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that she has mental health issues, is a control freak, brought another kid into the picture and was being abused by her current husband.
No...it's because we don't put them to bed at precisely her scheduled time and have let them watch.....pause...A PG-13 MOVIE! Yeah, Spiderman is much scarier than seeing mom get pushed around, items broken in the home and being told that you can't be around stepdad.