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do your bf's/dh's act different when skids are a round?

startingover2010's picture

before sd11 went to texas for a year to stay at bm's, bf was an asshole. when she was gone, things were not perfect, but way better, he was calmer, more playful, and into me. not so angry. the second she came back, he started again.

tonight, he was in the shower and i was in the room. he came in and said "u couldnt hear me call your name bitch for a towel?" then threw his towel at me and hit me in the face. told me "youre so fuckin stupid. glad i didnt fall and hurt myself in there. u can sleep on the couch, i dont want you in MY bed" when i bumped him leaving the room, he said "what your tank ass cant pass me?" i am obese to say the least, so this of course hit hard as i have lost 20 pounds so far and having hard time losing weight.

i go and drive around a bit to clear my head. 20 min later he calls to say he is an ass and to come home. hour later i did when i was ready.

sd11 is such a bad kid and makes everyones anxiety go haywire. i know that this is what it is but he wont get rid of her. i have bd3 with him and i dont know what to do here cause she loves daddy.

GiGi222's picture

He sounds like such a jerk! How can he say those things to you? Even if he is angry or stressed out about SD that is no way to talk to his partner.
Have you spoken to him about this?

stuknaz's picture

Forget about how he acts when the skids are there..i want to know why are you with this IDIOT!!! You have to be kidding me.. :? Why is he talking to you like that? Why be with aperosn who speaks to you like that??

"And this too shall pass..."

Amazed's picture

Don't get angry at me but WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU STILL DOING THERE??? Honestly honey...NO man is worth being treated like that. I don't care how much he's "sorry". I don't care how "wonderful,sweet,romantic,etc" he is when it's just the two of you or whatever YOU NEED TO GET OUT of this relationship like yesterday sweetie.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

AllSmiles's picture

I've never had to write as there always seems to be a blog going about my situation. It broke my heart to read your post.

NO ONE deserves to be spoken to like that!!! I know you are concerned about the little one but do you really want her to hear her Momma cussed???

"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't.” General George S. Patton

Conflicted's picture

Whats up with all of the asshole boyfriends lately? Mines been a real treat lately too... I think gals like us need to seriously step back and assess our relationship(s)
I'm really good at giving advice and not so good at taking it.... but seriously... he has no right to call you names or put his hands on you.

missangie1978's picture

I just want to come over and smack him for you. How dare he treat you like that. My DH is an idiot when it comes to SS at times but he knows better then to say or treat me like that. I'd leave his ass so fast his head would spin.

Ugh I am so mad for you right now

Bj's picture

Have had the same experience before and after much therapy found out that this is this is mental abuse. If you let it continue it will get worse. Don't let anyone talk to you that way. When you do leave him (and I hope you do) He will cry, promise you he will change and do everthing under the sun including threatening to kill hisself long enough to get you back only to keep treating you the same way. This is what mental or physical abusers do. You are not a door mat and DO NOT DESERVE to be treated like one. Get rid of his disrespectful ass!

ziggyhi's picture

Your situation will not get any better with time. If he hit you once he will hit you again and again and again. For your safety and the safety of your child you must seek help that is available for battered women, of which you are one. My heart goes out to you. Stay safe.

stepmom2be's picture

This is verbal abuse turning physical and whatever mindset he is in because of the sk? It doesnt make it okay- in the least.
Get yourself out- get a good lawyer, and move on. You deserve better. NO ONE should have to put up with abuse.

Stick's picture

This story makes me worry for you on a number of levels.

I know that times are hard and I think in another post you were concerned about food, let alone trying to find a new place to live.

But there are shelters for battered women, etc. that you could look into.

There is absolutely NO REASON whatsoever for a man to call you a bitch or throw a towel in your face or say anything ever like he did to you. I sincerely hope that you realize that you are too good for that crap and that you aren't staying out of any kind of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear because you don't think you can do better.. whatever.

Your husbands venom could be compounded by the struggles you two are going through right now, but again - that absolutely does NOT give him the right to treat you so horribly. If anything, it's times like those that should be bringing you guys together, not having him turn on you.

Please - don't take his sh*t. Don't let him belittle you or make you feel bad or even worse, get physical against you. He needs help and I don't know if there's anything you can do. But what's next? Next time, maybe he doesn't throw a towel, but maybe he throws a dish? Maybe next time he pushes you? Or maybe next time he says something even worse. I know he said he's sorry, but so do lots of abusers. How much are you willing to take, before it will be "the last straw".

Congratulations on your weight loss! I know things seem dark right now, but you can get through this. Please don't let him bully you.

Take care of yourself....

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"If you could only see.... what love has made of me.... then I'd no longer be - in your mind, the difficult kind - cuz Baby I've changed...
** Sheryl Crow - The Difficult Kind **