Do you ever feel like we're the "lost generation??"
My comment on the thread about Mother's Day has reminded me that I feel like I am part of what will be the "lost generation" in terms of the family dynamic. Primarily, this is because DH's mother can't let go of her need to be the center of the family. Therefore, she demands that all holidays revolve around HER and/or her house. We almost never get to host anything. And, by the time MIL is no longer physically able to host, the next generation below us (our kids & DH's sibling's kids--MIL's grandkids) will have their own children, and we'll be focusing on THEM. My one poor SIL has always been her mother's daughter, and has never gotten to host anything at her house. Now SIL's daughter is grown and getting married. My other SIL's son NEVER got to wake up at his own house on Christmas morning while he still believed in Santa Clause (he's now 14), since SIL was always required to travel in from out of state to celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at MIL's house.
For Mother's Day, I really wanted to go out to eat at a nice restaurant at a resort. (I would have been fine with DH's mom and my mom joining us.) However, DH's mom always has SIL's husband make her dinner. SO, we are going to SIL's house as MIL wishes. I don't know if I'll even see my mom that day, since she lives 2 hours away from SIL's house. While I'd like to think that someday I'll have my "day," now oldest SS20 has his own daughter, and youngest SS and my 2 DSs, now 12 and 6, will be having their families. I will NEVER insist that I be celebrated on MOther's Day over the mothers who are in the midst of raising my grandchildren, since I feel that those are the moms that deserve the break and the recognition NOW. Therefore, it feels like I'm just part of a "lost generation" due to MIL not wanting to let go.
Oh, and DH not only is the one who came up with this concept (which he fully recognizes) he shakes his head as he recalls that, when he was a child, they almost NEVER went to his grandparents' house on holidays, and if they did, it was VERY brief, and HIS MOTHER and THEIR HOME was the main spot. Seems his controlling mom just doesn't want to give that up! Oh well, I guess it IS typical of most moms to "suck it up" and sacrifice their own wants for everyone else, so why should Mother's Day be any different? Sorry for the Pity Party! I will survive, but I just wondered if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon.